can't get out the house.. I'm f*cked...

I dont know what is so intimidating about it. maybe it's the fact that I think there is nothing outside for me... like there's no use in going outside. I wont meet anyone new, I dont know how to start conversations with just anyone, and what about? I haven't even tried making random conversation with anyone. What am I going to do? stand around my apartment? walk around pointlessly? look like an idiot. I know if I start doing this everyday people are going to wonder why I am so alone... then leave me alone because they don't want to be around a lonely person. I feel lonely outside. scared... like a f*cking chump.

Dont get me wrong, I've gone outside before.. but only when I have something to do , or something like an argument with my father pushes me out and I dont give a flying F*. but why do I have to go outside in such a condition? I can't just go outside for no good reason! ok maybe I'm going outside with the wrong mindset. So which mindset should I be in? I don't go to cafe's around here. I'm, a vegetarian. I dont go to the recreational parks around here.. I dont play sports. Sometimes I feel like running at the track.. it's usually very lonely there. I'm not interested in ANYTHING others are! Also nobody would like me I guess...



FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do it for yourself. Go watch the sunrise and the sunset, take pictures, sit down and listen to music to relax a little. Grab your bike and enjoy the fresh air.

I know how you feel, i think the same thing every day.
I don't even want to go outside anymore.

heh my city was ranked in the top ten most boring cities in the US. I wonder why but yea this city always kinda gave me a crappy-ish feeling but maybe it's because I feel lonely. I know there are lots around here that I don't think would feel the same. But I think it's kinda true, this area is just builings, hardly any attractions or recreational centers or whatever. the way this area is set up makes me feel... lonely. and I am just a weirdo who doesn't know anything. I mean tho for real. the only reason for me to go outside around here is to just catch some fresh air and sun. what is that? I need to learn to talk to people cuz I guess that's the only thing to do around here. hang out where? do what? I'm an adult. I'm not a kid I'm supposed to havethings to do. Catch fresh air?

I also feel very embarrassed to go out. like I've got nothing to do. nobody to talk to. no friends. am just a loser. nobody's going to feel sorry for me if they see me outside. instead they might just make fun of me. nobody's going to want to offer a hand.

You know what. in these parts I hardly EVER see any people in my age group just hangin around. maybe I dont go out enough but truthfully arouind here it's just mostly old people. maybe a couple blocks down there's younger folks.

but also.. I feel different being young, and outside. I feel like I'm too old to be outside catching fresh air, unless I'm REALLY old, like these REALLY old folks over here that just go outside to walk around. I'm supposed to be at a job or at school. doing something important. not just walking around like a really old person.

I've been living here for years. I should already know about activities around here and places to go to. if I go outside, looking like a tourist. I'm definitely going to get looks. if I go out i WILL look desperate or pathetic. by a majority.

I dont know what people my age do around here. I dont even know if there is anyone around here that is my age. they may have all moved because this area sux to live in probably. damnit I can't find my place in this society.

Florida is boring?


Boring?



This is boring!

lol.. we dont have rides like that over here.

maybe I just dont know enough to do.. I have to hop on the metro rail to go to downtown. when I get there who knows what else to do.