Any more tips to prepare for a possible exodus?

Ok here's the situation. I put them in point form for easier understanding. This is about the current relationships I have with the "family" I live under the same roof with.

Mom
- cannot last talking to her for 5 minutes. Very unstable relationship. She is a walking time bomb that might explode anytime. Though we live under the same roof, we barely talk. And that seldom time we do talk, 90% of the time, it ends up in a quarrel. I dont see her as a mom anymore but an "enemy".

Dad
- We can be buddies sometimes. I can actually last for 1 day around him without getting into an argument. We have different principles and views of the world. But we still have respect for one another. Though he can be an annoying asshole.


18 year old brother
- we're "friends". But he seems to be spendin more time with his girlfriend. We barely quarrel.


15 year old brother
- close to mom even if mom verbally abuses him. We barely talk to each other... but we're not "enemies".


10 year old brother
- neutral. since he's much much younger than me, we barely communicate.


Granny
- she knows how to act like a mother. She is "mother" for me. She cries at the thought of me getting the fuck out of the house.




So in other words, situation is complicated. Around mom, I feel an aura of fear and hatred... around everyone else, its fine. I wanna leave the house. I tried running away a few times but dad was always there to stop me from doin it. He always talked me out of it.


But tensions been rising high these past few weeks. Mom is just too much. I cannot stand her anymore. My patience is almost running out. There is a bigger chance of me getting the fuck out of the house and running away for good.

In the event of me running away, I have the following preparations (so far):

- I have about $2000 in savings. I help pay the bills in the house... but I made little sacrifices to make it reach that level in less than 6 months.

- gotten rid of ALOT of stuff I wont be needing. Clothes, documents... I arranged them in such a way so that it will only take me 30 minutes or less to pack up and leave. TWO BAGS. I'd be bringing TWO BAGS.

- Planning to get a laptop to store my important files and some mp3s and videos to keep me busy.

- got the phone numbers and addresses of emergency shelters near my area. I'd probably be staying at the shelter for at least a week (I have a job... so it wont take long before I get back on my feet. This is gonna be a temporary fall) before finding a room for rent or bachelors apartment somewhere I can settle down. I'd be paying around the same amount I'm paying now if ever I get a roomate or a bach apartment... this time no more bad mommy to make me feel bad.

- I also have the phone numbers of the government, the bank, drivers lisence, credit card, and police... so that it will be easier to notify them about a change of address. I plan to change my name to prevent them from tracking me down.

Though I still have second thoughts about the name changing part. Doing that might trigger more hatred in even my 18 year old brother... who I have good relations with. Probably at the time of my departure, mom would be demonizing me to my brothers. The two young ones might believe EVERY WORD she says... but the 18 year old might believe only part of it or none of it.


- I have thoughts on how to commit the act of escaping itself. Whether or not to leave a note... telling everyone a farewell message... or make it very stealthy. By the time they find it out, I'd be loooong gone. Should I notify the cops first? I dont want anybody arrested. I just want to leave without getting followed.



- Pray to God to grant me strength. Yeah I've dissed God in these forums... but just last month I started prayin to him to give me HUGE emotional strength. And now I can say I'm at least 5x emotionally stronger than the average person. So I'm sorry for all the shit I said about God... I take back everything I said. PRAISE THE LORD!!!




- This is the last resort for me after all other diplomatic civilized solutions have failed. I also pray it wont come to this. I also wanna keep my family as intact as possible. This is the last fucking resort.




So any more tips on my preparations? Pls help. Thanks.

wherever /whatever...think it thru and be safe.

iamantisocial:I am assuming you are about 19-20 or a little older. If so, you are an adult and you know if it's time to leave, then leave.Firstly, try every reasonable thing to make peace with your mom, and include your father in it. Talk it out with them (not arguing and bitchfest), and if you feel that there is no choice, move out. Secondly, plan where you will go...$2000 is peanuts, and it quickly dissapears on food, rent, everyday items and bills(bus,computer/clothing,doctors visits/entertainment). Thirdly, have you talked to a close relative or boss/co-worker,neighbour,church leader, etc, about your situation and if anybody can give you guidance or help?Fourth, think things thru and do only what is the best solution for yourself, be careful of bad people and stay away from harming yourself with drugs and alcohol...self pity wont be of any use to you now or later. Have you considered joining military training...they give you an education/food/shelter? Look over every option and you make sure to use your intelligence that i see in your writing, to stay out of harm and to live a better and happier life....JUST BE CAREFUL AND STAY SAFE.

If you have to leave, leave and don't worry about your family, worry about yourself, if you have to notify the police to get away, do it, they might make it easier for you to get away without anyone tracking you down. As for your mum demonizing you to your brothers, they'll probably realise in time that she was the one with the problem not you. I'm not encouraging you to run away if you don't have to, but if you do, good luck in escaping for good

have you talked to a close relative or boss/co-worker,neighbour,church leader, etc, about your situation

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no. So homeless shelter is where I'd temporarily stay in the event of an emergency.

I dont know who to tell about? Because I dont have any close friend nearby or relative that can help. Though I'm thinking about telling it to the Priest or pastor or something...

I dont have friends. Friday night I'm either watchin a video, playing a video game, reading a book, or masturbating.

Parents... especially mom... EVER SINCE discouraged me from hanging out with the other kids and always encouraged me to read books and study even when there is no test... you know... the nerdy stuff.

As a kid, I had to go through alot of hoops and arguing so that they will allow me to go out and socialize. Because it made me feel bad everytime... it made me cry sometimes... I just stopped asking permission from them and went out anyway... secretly... only to return home to be physically and verbally abused. Until I just stopped goin out and stayed put in the house like an obedient dog.


I didnt realize it... but I feel now that that overprotectiveness and oversheltering has crippled my ability to interact with people... hence the social phobia and depression... and has denied me external connections... or "friends".

amantisocial:I am assuming you are about 19-20 or a little older

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You're right about my age estimation. Even at that age, mom and dad were very restrictive on who I hanged out with... that one time, mom called me while I was getting drunk with my new "friends" I met from my old job... and asked me probing policing questions that it got me embarrassed as hell... as in embarrassed so much that I stopped hangin out with those people because I might KILL SOMEBODY SERIOUSLY if one of them gets out of line and gives me shit about being a mommys boy and all that.


So far, theyve done a good job of policing me and denying me access to the outside world. Until about a year ago when I consistently gave them shit... by always coming home drunk (or exagerration of drunkenness) from the bar... to the point where they just figured that being a police hurts like hell. Still... The fucking damage has been done. And btw, havent had any alcohol in 3 months. I quit that shit.


And here I am. No. Friends. Except a few online acquaintances and acquaintances I meet here and there and at work. Social skills have improved light years... but I'm still light years behind the average person in social skills.

Hey dont worry I'll get there... Calling up these emergency shelters to see if I got the right number will surely help me know how to talk to people!!!

Found out that the average person has at least 100 people they call "friends" and connected with. Look at fucking friendster, myspace, or any of that shit... if you dont believe friendster, look at sites like asianavenue or blackplanet to have a more reliable picture.

Have you considered joining military training...they give you an education/food/shelter?

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Military wont take me. They might think I'm not physically fit enough because I can only run for 1 minute before my feet start to hurt. After 5 minutes of continuous running WITH SHOES, the pain will be so unbearable. My feet are fucked up. They are deformed for some reason. I was born that way.

And imagine that happening to me in a firefight in Afghanistan? I'd be cannon fodder... I'd just get in the way...

Look over every option and you make sure to use your intelligence that i see in your writing, to stay out of harm and to live a better and happier life....JUST BE CAREFUL AND STAY SAFE

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Thanks for the compliment.

Right now its still diplomacy... and stockpiling of necessary resources I might be needing. I'm thinking of being very nice to everyone in the family... almost borderline ass-kissing... in an attempt to win everyone over. The objective is to make peace with mom... or get everyone to be on my side so that she will be isolated. But that might require a great deal of social skills and maneuvering which I SUCK at... though Iwill try my best.


If peace happens... VERY GOOD. If not... at least it gave me more time to prepare.




man... long post... think I can be a politician? lol. :lol:

Hi I just want to say thanks to iamantisocial for showing me the flip side of the coin, I have a 11 year old daughter who lives with her mother. I have been policing here hard as she has discovered boys, me suffering from SA and depression and paranoia leads to allsorts of arguements between us.

Reading your post made me realise the potential damage I am causing.

Remember though us parents tend to worry a lot and usually only doing what we see as being in your best interest, though sometimes we may deal with situations badly.

Wishing you the best and hope it works out for you!