always planning, never living

Do ya'll ever feel like your ALWAYS planning and thinking and preparing and making goals and so on and so on but YOU NEVER JUST GET OUT THERE AND LIVE LIFE? thats how i am and im sick of it but i always tell myself ok after i change or fix or do this 2 myself my friends lives life EVERY SECOND and have great lifes w/out "planning" and sitting around waiting idk if im making sense i just dont wanna be like this right now im tellin myself ok once i dye my hair brown get green contacts tan get a medicine 2 fix my SA and depression and on n on n on i swear i make a list of things i need 2 do or whatever EVERDAY!

I always feel that I'm making plans but never carrying them out. Like moving somewhere else, traveling, being more outgoing, on and on and on. Making plans to live life with more excitment but continuing on in the same old way.

I know exactly where you are coming from, iam the same but near the end of last year i changed one of the plans ive had for years which is to tour Scotland, so i bought myself a van a converted it for traveling and within the next few months iam going away in it its somthing i have been planing for years and i always kept putting it off but now iam actually acting on it and it feels good.

What you should do is pick a specific date for somthing, like instead of saying iam gonna do this next month or next year just write it down and have it set instead of putting it off, organise it more what ever it is your planning instead of just thinking about it.

What things are you planning that you keep putting off?

...

I've got a tendention to do this too. It's always "when this" and "when that" and "when I figure this out", "when I get outta this depression", "when I buy those jeans" or "when I move on to the university" or "fall in love" or anything. it's always "tomorow" or "next month" or "one day". But the truth is, that your (mine, anyone's) life is not going to get changed for better by itself or by any of those things (new hair, new meds, new contacts etc.) I've felt unsatisfied with my life for ever - I remember lying in my bed when I was about 9, thinking "okay, tomorow I'm gonna start it over". I also remeber me dying my hair, joining greenpeace, visitting church, getting piercing, buying new clothes, re-arranging my room several times and doing widest range of other extreme things which I hoped were going to change my life. It never worked. Now I know better. There are no fresh starts. There are no extreme changes and make-overs. Planning ain't get you anywhere, I'm sorry. You have to live, that's what it's about. Even if the life isn't much fun, it's the only thing you have, really. And you know what? Life is happening NOW, not someday in the future when you will do this or that and get this or that. You are living in this very moment, Toker. Don't you forget it, please, don't you lose yourself in stupid imaginations as I did. You have all you need. This life, this moment, your body and your mind... get up and go make something out of it. Good luck.

Love,
Sue

Annnd... I just thought I will post this for you because... well, I don't even know if you like rock'n'roll (but who doesn't? ).... but it's just something that pretty much expresses what I'm on about so... here I go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAYPUG4RwVs

Scottish_Player said:

I know exactly where you are coming from, iam the same but near the end of last year i changed one of the plans ive had for years which is to tour Scotland, so i bought myself a van a converted it for traveling and within the next few months iam going away in it its somthing i have been planing for years and i always kept putting it off but now iam actually acting on it and it feels good.

What you should do is pick a specific date for somthing, like instead of saying iam gonna do this next month or next year just write it down and have it set instead of putting it off, organise it more what ever it is your planning instead of just thinking about it.

What things are you planning that you keep putting off?

Click to expand...

That's awesome Scottish. Following your dreams, huh? Go for it, Player (go for it, all of you darlings). Have fun travelling.

And I like what you wrote about stating certain dates to do things. Deadlines are a must-have, they keep us busy and

Tryin'

yah i love aerosmith! lol never heard that song its good tho. and setting dates is a rlly good idea, I'll do that 4 sure.

Read about Mindfulness -it is the antidote to not being able to stay in the present moment. Anxiety has a fair bit to do with concerns for the present and being haunted by your past. -This kind of pressure is bound to overwhelm a person and cause them to lose perspective.
Instead, imagine taking up a challenge dealing moment by moment with what presents it self to you. ....no trying to do everything all at once, and no worries about what may or may not happen. This would make a person not see just what is happening.

Read what Jesus says about 'worrying'. He says not to worry about 'where your food and clothes will come from' but to only be concerned with what God wants from you and God will give you what you need and even want. This 'worrying about food and clothes' is essentially an attachment to results, or a worrying about future (and past) outcomes and a forgetting of the present moment or step in the process. He says how God takes care of flowers and birds and they don't worry. Nature or God takes care of everything and everyone. If we see this and can find ways to give-up worrying about outcomes and desires and fears, then we'll get whatever we want -because it all comes naturally.
For me, none of this really clicked/clicks -but I've found Mindfulness and meditation, and this is 'the way' or a way to be in the present moment and deal with things step by step and moment by moment without becoming overwhelmed by too much. And sometimes past experience/worries for the future come to fantasies and warp what is actually real -eg: sometimes -most times! -people just aren't looking at me at all, but my past experience/worry for what could happen makes me anticipate that they would be.

OK, well, I'll leave it there. Have to go now.

I am the exact same way! I would always tell myself, "Oh, I'll start talking more in Middle School, no highschool, no college, after I graduate college." I am always planning for what I will become, but I am never actually making any attempts to live. I have been told that I plan too much and never actually live in the moment.

I have a whole list of things that is holding me back. I've gained 10 lbs in the last 3 years, so now I think that losing weight will help me be more happy. I am under a lot of stress because I am doing bad in school. I am going to graduate in May (hopefully) and I keep telling people 'I will be better when I graduate.'

I wish I could offer advice, but I am the queen of tomorrow. I just wanted to say that I can totally relate.

Have you ever heard the song "Pig" by Dave Matthews Band? It desribes our situation so well. Here are some of the lyrics:

Isn't it strange
How we move our lives for another day
Like skipping a beat
What if a great wave should wash us all away
Just thinking out loud
Don't mean to dwell on this dying thing
But looking at blood
It's alive right now
Deep and sweet within
Pouring through our veins Intoxicate moving wine to tears
Drinking it deep
Then an evening spent dancing
It's you and me
This love will open our world
From the dark side we can see a glow of something bright
There's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away
Is this not enough
This blessed sip of life
Is it not enough
Staring down at the ground
Oh then complain and pray more from above
Greedy little pig Stop just watch your world trickle away
Oh it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years
Just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Don't burn the day away
Come sister my brother
Shake up your bones shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone Love love what more is there
We need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There are bad times
But that's ok
Just look for love in it
Don't burn the day away
Look
Here are we
On this starry night staring into space
And I must say
I feel as small as dust
Lying down here
What point could there be troubling
Head down wondering what will become of me
Why concern we cannot see
But no reason to abandon it
Time is short but that's all right
Maybe I'll go in the middle of the night Take your hands from your eyes, my love
Everything must end some time
Don't burn the day away
Come sister my brother
Shake up your bones shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come flooding in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come

I'm an expert at planning things but never actually getting round to doing them. Thankfully I getting worse at it! :lol:

Last year I went to Ireland, a place I've wanted to go to for years, and I started a home study course, again something I'd been dithering about for ages.

Yep

I'm exactly the same way. I'm so preoccupied with dealing with SA and planning for the future that I forget to live my life.

In fact if I try to do something constructive like motivate myself to do college work or start exercising, I almost buckle under the pressure I put on myself to do it, all because anxiety takes up most of my thoughts and efforts.

I get accused of being lazy quite a bit, bit in reality I'm just overwhelmed by trying to beat my anxiety. I'm stuck planning for a future without anxiety but it's a catch 22, I won't make that future a reality without putting a stop to my planning.

It's good to know that others are in a similar situation though, good post!!

Yeah, i m like that.

Daydreaming rather than planning these days.