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Old 12-24-2014

I've had social anxiety since I can remember.
By the time I got to middle school, I was so resistant to going in because of the other kids that I was homeschooled for 3 years.
High school I had to go back to public, which I managed through by sticking mostly to myself. A few teachers thought something was up with me because I'd go the whole trimester and not talk to anyone. But eventually they stopped noticing. I've been out of school for two years now, and have barely left my house. I live alone, basically in the middle of the woods. I did have a best friend, but she left the state. I barely even talk to anyone online anymore. I have too much anxiety to work- even though I want to, I freak just at the prospect of an interview. I didn't do badly in school, but I always feel like I'm going to be completely incompetent and just embarrass myself when I think about a job. What is awful is that my dad still pays for my food and bills and stuff and lately when he comes to check on me he seems kind of concerned and let down. Like he feels sorry for me because every time he comes down I don't have anything to say to him, and I'm never doing anything different. From the time I wake up I basically just wait to be able to fall asleep again. I've had depression along with it for a good portion of my life. I have attempted suicide multiple times as well, but only been hospitalized once for it, when I drank antifreeze. I've been to lots of different therapists, and tried all sorts of medications. Nothing has helped me..Anyone having as hard a time with this? How do you cope?
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Old 12-24-2014
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Exposure, exposure, exposure. The idea of having an interview is scary (I had an interview just the other day), but it's even scarier to have to go each day without facing your fears. I was scared, nervous, palms were sweaty even the day before, and I knew my face was red the whole time, but I went through it and it was much needed exposure.

Take a look at what staying in your comfort zone has brought you, and place that weight on one hand. On the other hand, hold all the things you wish you had done were it not for fear and anxiety. Life won't wait for you, you have to put your shoes on and just go and live, knowing you deserve all the things you want to achieve and only you can stop yourself from achieving them.

In short, it's not about coping, because coping basically means "how do you deal with [something negative]?". You deal with it by making it positive, by making it work in your favor. Change fear into excitement over doing something new and daring. Take anxiety and turn it into an adrenaline rush over the fact that you're experiencing something new. Flip the bad around in such a way that it becomes good and helpful.
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