Old 09-01-2007
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theslowesthand theslowesthand is offline
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This is my own take/analysis on bullies, name-callers, put-downers, dickheads, low-lifes, etc, etc (whatever you want to call 'em !!!)

"bully" (dict): noun. domineering person. verb. to intimidate, treat badly.

I think all bullies have themselves been bullied at some stage. How else are they so damned good at it?!. It's because they've MODELLED themselves on one or more "masters" of bullying (eg one or more of their parents, older sibling (who's modelled THEMSELVES on...))

Basically, bullying/etc = makes target FEEL BAD (at the time, afterwards, for rest of day, for rest of life)

To be bullied, is to be dominated. Notice how bullies ALWAYS choose those targets that are or seem "easy prey" to them. There's no point, to the bully, of choosing a target to whom they cannot successfully bully!. So, they therefore choose somebody who they can "beat" or "win" against, and usually EASILY (as they're too cowardly to "pick on someone their own size", and it's not about size, as I've known little guys at school who actually scared-the-pants-off bullies twice their size!!; it's all about ATTITUDE & CONFIDENCE)
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Suitable "bully-fodder" types usually have some of the following qualities:
- Meek/mild/shy
- Passive (don't "stick up" for self)
- Peaceful
- Different (appearance, personality, beliefs, skills,..)
- Low self-worth
- Lacking confidence
- Emotional problems (bullies attack people who're FEELING BAD)
- Social problems
- Weak/ish (in the sense of seagulls pecking at a wounded seagull, instaed of trying to help it (like ducks))

I think bullies/etc are basically just f*cked-up low-life scum (true!), not deserving to have the label "human being". They aren't "animals" (maybe "human animals"?), as no animal has EVER thought/felt/acted like them. "Animal" is WAY too good a name for them. "Shit" is what they ASPIRE to!!
Okay, there's DEGREES of everything, in everything (0-100%). And there's good/bad, positive/negative, pros/cons, in everythng. Applying this to bullies, ... (to be continued)
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Let's "dissect" bullies, eh? (fun, fun!!!; they WILL mind, but F*CK 'em, WE'RE in control in this forum!!) :twisted:

Typical traits of bullies:
- Egotistical
- Aggressive
- Domineering
- Hyper-macho (if male)
- Know-it-all's (think they know everything they'll ever need to know about (only) the MAIN areas of life (people, relationships, sex, fitting-in, being "cool",...); dogmatic; rock-headed ("old dogs don't learn new tricks"); attack ANYONE, maybe also even their "buddies", who "mucks" with their set-in-stone beliefs
- Very poor thinkers (they DON'T/CAN'T think, they just FEEL & ACT)
- Very poor morals/values (but THINK they're "right"; see "self-righteous")
- Self-righteous (to the Nth degree)
- Very angry (but usually hide it well)
- Thick-skinned (insensitive; don't "feel" much except the "big" feelings
- Emotional shields always up (see "thick-skinned")
- Powerful (VERY skilled at bullying; possibly "powerful" physique also)
- Always with at least one other fellow-bully (at their most vicious & powerful)
- Pressure-cooker minds/lives (SO busy trying to keep with the "in" crowd, not putting a SINGLE STEP out of pace (with "their" people), conforming with society (awww, i kinda feel a bit SORRY for them!)
- "All-grown-up" (pressured to be "The Man" (or "The Woman") since very early in life - too early). So, they DEMAND that EVERYONE is/acts "all-grown-up" like them, and if not, then this person/s desrves to be bullied (set-in-stone FALSE/IRRATIONAL beliefs)
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How to "get at" the "black heart" of bullies:
- Know that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN (& HALF-HUMAN (bullies)) have WEAK POINTS, things which they are "EMOTIONALLY INVESTED" in
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Analyse the f*ck out of the bast*rds, maybe even analyse the "sh*t" OUT of them!?. Analyse them right to their rotten bones/core, and further, till there's no "them" left, just a whole bunch of tiny wee, unlucky, unfortunately placed atoms
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Some very blunt, to-the-point questions to ask your bully/ies:
Here's some more possibly bully-destroying "questions" to put to them
(first discuss with yourself the pros/cons, dangers, etc - ideally take small calculated risks with them, depending on bully/ies)

* Ideally, approach them when they are WITHOUT BUDDIES or even better, ALONE
* Ask them these "questions" (if you or "can" &/or dare; be VERY careful, as they are "ticking bombs")
* Better than directly ACCUSING them. If they say 'Did you just call me a monster!!!!!' --> 'NO, weren't you listening? .. I was ASKING you whether YOU THINK you're a monster, or whether you SEE yourself as a monster' (note the importance of the empasithed words; using empasis on certain words helps them to "get" the question, and also instills more confidence in you (that you're saying it in the right/effective way, & also improves your vibe to them, & helps to keep you FEELING OKAY (v.important from their side of the "great divide")
* Need to "talk" to them ("questions" = grabs their attention) SINCERELY, NOT ANGRILY/FEARFULLY/ETC, as basically, if you FEEL BAD whilst talking to them, for whatever reason, THEY'LL then feel bad, & so then you're fighting a losing mini-battle (on this occassion), and then the NEXT time you meet will be EVEN WORSE
* TRY to talk to them like normal people (eg like your family members)
* How you VIEW them is VITALLY important to the bully/ies, as their ego, self-importance, self-righteous, centre-of-universe, sex-appeal, etc, etc, etc = the CORE OF THEIR EXISTENCE (& :. an area JAM-PACKED with weak/vulnerable points, as it happens). If you FEAR them, then it REINFORCES the "relationship" you have with them, by making them, at that moment, feel like a "Big Bad Bully Boy", and so they ACT like that, with you at the receiving end of those actions/words/mannersisms/vibes/etc
* They've always got INSTANT (physical/mental) reactions to you ("speed kills", and they know it)
* Note: you MUST "ask" these questions with CONFIDENCE, not fear/etc. Basically, first you must BELIEVE in what you're saying (make sure you fully "get" it, understand it deeply, get passionate about it). Then, when you are saying it (at the opportune moment - not an easy moment to find, i know, as )
* Maybe some shorter sentences might be better (so they don't cut-you-off mid-sentence, which is humiliting itself)
They might change the subject (usu to sth which makes you feel bad)


The Questions...
- NO: 'Do you deserve to have the label "human being"?' (as not subtle enough (too rude))? [X]
- 'Who are you?' V
- 'Are you a monster?' [V]
--> 'Did you just call me a monster!!!!!' --> 'NO, weren't you listening? .. I was ASKING you whether YOU THINK you're a monster' (or: 'whether you SEE yourself as a monster')
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Tell yourself this, and BELIEVE it (as it's TRUE!!): "They WILL pay, in some way, before they die, for what they've done to you, and to others. They're paying RIGHT NOW in their present life, if not consciously (guilty/regretful/bad memories that occur from time to time, maybe triggered by certain things), then subconsciously (including dreams, which they can't escape from or control)"
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All this probabaly seems rather "complex", but the fact is that "tackling" your bullies (= one of your "personal demons"?!) is no easy feat. It's not a 1..2..3 step-by-step process, but more of an "ART". Like Chess, you can't win according to 1 single "formula", but like a whole BUNCH of formalae, coupled with your own skill in when/how to use them
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.... (working on)
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Old 10-13-2007
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antibully antibully is offline
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I really like the three questions. Maybe I should have my son take some self defense classes before he tries this? My fear is they may beat him to a pulp. He is much smaller than them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by antibully
I really like the three questions. Maybe I should have my son take some self defense classes before he tries this? My fear is they may beat him to a pulp. He is much smaller than them.
Take self defense classes. It will help his self esteem and teach him how to deal with these "thugs". I was bullied until I was 15. The reason it stopped is because I had a growth spurt at 14, and hit the gym everyday. People just left me alone after awile because they knew if I ever got pissed off enough, I could do some serious damage to them.
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