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Old 02-23-2017
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I think the reason why your mother-in-law acts that way is because she's unhappy. People who are happy don't feel the need to belittle others.
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Old 02-23-2017
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Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
I think the reason why your mother-in-law acts that way is because she's unhappy. People who are happy don't feel the need to belittle others.
I dont know about her being unhappy. I actually see her as the opposite. She seems full of energy and happy all the time. She's like the life of the party in an effortless way. To be fair, I still think that her 'nasty words' are just her being mindlessly tactless. Like I mentioned before, I observed that being insensitive and boisterous seems to run in MIL's side of family. The way they joke and speak out their mind can sometimes be quite inappropriate or offensive but it's nothing to them. But for me who is not used to people like them, I can easily take their words personally. I'm not defending them though because even my hubby warned me about their kinda rough behavior. But I guess normal people will easily shrugged their words off while I seem to take them by heart.

Like in the case of MIL calling me ugly... Im pretty sure she still havent realized that she offended me. She was like messaging me on Facebook like nothing happened.... although I still havent responded to her for like several days now.

On the other hand, I also feel that MIL and MIL's family have a bit of uneasiness connecting with me. They're used to my hubby's exes who are confident and extrovert. I guess they're also clueless how to cope with me Lol.

Sometimes we'll have awkward converations like when they asked me if I drink alcohol and then I said 'not really because of their bitter taste' then there was silence and just so they wouldnt think Im boring, I quickly added "Oh but I do drink wine" and they didnt really respond enthusiastically. My husband actually thought the conversation funny because adding the 'wine' reply only made it worse because his family are beer drinkers.

His family loves watching soap operas and I dont. One time I joined them watching TV and they asked me about the character and I had to admit that I am clueless.

Those are some few instances that makes me feel like an alien. I dont blame them mind you. It's just we cant help that me and MIL's family are totally different.

Maybe you'll wonder why I mention MIL's family often. You see, MIL's side of family (the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandkids) just live nearby. They are really big family and many times my hubby's cousins hangout in their house. Whenever there's an occasion, there's always big parties dominated by MIL's relatives.

Oh well... im being random again. I better stop here lol.
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Old 03-01-2017
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It's not a rant this time. Just an update. This thread is starting to get journal-y lol.

After ignoring MIL for several days, she started to message me again yesterday. It would be too obvious that I'm ignoring her if I dont reply back so I responded this time. Anyway, my resentment is kinda fading away coz I kinda feel bad for stopping her intended visit.

Maybe I was only extra sensitive or maybe Im starting to get used to MIL but I didnt feel offended in our recent talk. I was still a bit cautious but I took most of the things she said lightly this time.

She asked me how am I, followed by how's the baby. Then she told me to eat lots of fruits and veggies, asked me if I take pregnancy supplements, encouraged me to breastfeed the baby atleast 2 months etc etc.

My responses were all affirmative. I think she now has an idea that I kinda know what I am doing because she eventually stopped giving reminders and advices. I think my replies even went beyond her expectation. She learned that I was already taking Preggy supps several months before I got pregnant (as doctor's advice). Aside from that, I am also taking Vit D supps, all my blood test results are good. She learned that I have prepared a list for baby shoppingg and that I plan to breastfeed atleast 6 months.

And then out of nowhere she said "You know women's faces do change when their pregnant" and in my mind I was like "Uh oh dont you ever go that direction again MIL" so I immediately replied "Yes, I know that. And it's not only the face that is changing, it's the entire body." And then MIL kinda changed topic again ... away from 'pregnant's face' issue lol. Instead she changed tune and said how excited she is for her grandchild. She said if the baby's a girl she will surely be beautiful and if baby's a boy then he will be extra handsome (lol i can sense how she's indirectly telling me that the boy will look like my darling husband, hence the 'extra handsome' part)

She even joked if we can leave our baby to his care in our home country and just make another baby for us. I Just gave her a quick haha and said not to worry she'll see her grandchild eventually.

Surprisingly I wasnt pissed of her despite the not so nice joke. I guess Im more in control with myself this time
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Old 03-09-2017
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Me and hubby had a bit of drama last night because.... guess what?.... yep his mom again.

We recently learned our baby's gender and surprise surprise he is a boy lol. We actually expected it since we tried guessing baby's gender based from the nub theory on my 12th week ultrasound.

Anyway, me and hubby were like "Wow our guess is right"... and then hubby added "Mom predicted it right as well"... then I rolled my eyes and said "Yeah right, because she based it from my ugly face"... so hubby tried to explain that his mom was only joking and she just acts so comfortably in front of me and I shouldnt perceive her so badly. I then replied "I know it ok. Im not saying your mom is bad, I'm just saying she's insensitive".... he just shook his head, obviously not agreeing with me but we eventually let the issue pass.

And so last night, hubby was downstairs and I was in the bedroom upstairs when hubby had a webcam conversation with his mom. After a while I heard hubby going up and you know how I'm trying to avoid talking to his mom on the phone right? So when hubby was getting closer, I made it obvious that i dont wanna talk to his mom by getting off the bed with the laptop and sitting at the corner. I guess hubby really wanted me and MIL to talk so he directed the camera to my direction. I just quickly looked at the camera and said hello then went back facing the laptop. I was hoping hubby gets the signal but he was effin stubborn and gave me a look to talk to his mom. MIL was like already laughing and said "Oh you've really cut your hair short hahahaha"... I did respond back but my hubby can see that i didnt even put any effort to smile. I dont know if MIL is dense but she just kept talking about the weather and stuff. Hubby noticed that I was only replying but the conversation is really one sided so he quickly took the camera back and talked to his mom. After a short while they ended the conversation.

So that's how the drama started. He told me why I couldnt get over my mom's "ugly" comment. And I told him "It wasnt only one time. Remember when she said in front of me that she hopes our baby gets your eyes?" He replied "Yes but she didnt mean to offend you im sure. I dont understand why you're acting like my mom's a devil"... I said "No. I dont see your mom that way. I just think her mouth has no filter and she couldnt help it. I still talk to her through FB chats but I just dont want to talk to her face to face because I'm expecting that she'll say something offensive again and I'm preventing myself to getting pissed to your mom!" After that we just stopped talking to each other, he ignored me the rest of the night and so I went downstairs to sleep at the sofa.
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Old 03-09-2017
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Eventually hubby went downstairs and asked me to go back to bed. We made up. He said he's only hurt because I see his mom that way and he only wanted me and MIL to have a good relationship.
I said sorry I hurt him but the way I see his mom is not as extreme as he thinks. I just want to prevent myself from getting upset to his mom by avoiding to talk to her through cam. He said "But when will you keep avoiding her?" I said only while I'm pregnant. I saw that my hubby still doesnt totally understand my side but we kept our peace and started to be lovey-dovey affectionate again lol.

--------
This morning, like the usual I got off the bed earlier than hubby ( he really is a late riser). I took my breakfast downstairs and just couch potato-ed at the sofa (lol).

An hour after, hubby woke up and followed me downstairs with a puppy look on his face. He said "I really apologize to what my mom said". I thought he finally realized about last night and told him that I'm ok. But he was still acting so apologetic and then he showed me MIL and hubby's chat just few minutes ago.

The conversation went like this:

MIL: I told you your baby is a boy. I saw it on her face! Hahahahahha!
MiL: I hope he gets your eyes! Hahahaha! And your height hahahahah!

Hubby: Mom, talking about height, my wife's family are generally not short people. It just happens that she's the only petite one in their family. And about that as well, I only happened to be the tall one in our family but generally our side are petite people ...actually way shorter compared to my wife's family.

MIL stopped replying after that.

And so hubby was saying sorry that his mom says stuff like those but he knows she doesnt mean to insult or be offensive.

So I reminded him what I said last night that his mom is not generally a bad person but she is quite insensitive, her mouth has no filter.... and I totally understand that it's her personality so I'm the one who wants to stay away from getting pissed to her. I can still talk to her through chats but as of now I couldnt stand talking to her on camera.

And finally, I saw from hubby's reaction that he totally understand what I meant.
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Old 06-02-2017
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Haven't been here for a while. But of course I have to rant about MIL again. Now she's messaging my husband about our son's name. For some stupid reason she said our baby's name is no good because if we read it in reverse the meaning of the name is "Wrong" in our native language.

First of all, MIL's reversed name of our baby is not even accurate.

Second, why does she have to put some malicious anagram to our son's name?

Third, Why does she have to effin associate an English name to our native language?

I find her so silly and and annoying to even question our preferred baby's name. Anyway, hubby's response was good. He told her not to be superstitious and a child's upbringing has nothing to do with the name. She even managed to reply "It has nothing to do with superstition".

LOL nothing to do with superstition? So what's her basis then? Ugh!

------
Oh and before that, MIL and hubby had a short video call while we're out walking. MIL wanted to see me and her comment was "Oh she looks fat now". (Which I'm seriously not. I'm effin wearing bulky winter clothes and my weight is 56kg considering I'm pregnant). Again, her annoying insensitive mouth.

Last edited by w*n*c*a*m; 06-02-2017 at 06:21 AM.
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Old 06-03-2017
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Originally Posted by w*n*c*a*m View Post
Haven't been here for a while. But of course I have to rant about MIL again. Now she's messaging my husband about our son's name. For some stupid reason she said our baby's name is no good because if we read it in reverse the meaning of the name is "Wrong" in our native language.

First of all, MIL's reversed name of our baby is not even accurate.

Second, why does she have to put some malicious anagram to our son's name?

Third, Why does she have to effin associate an English name to our native language?

I find her so silly and and annoying to even question our preferred baby's name. Anyway, hubby's response was good. He told her not to be superstitious and a child's upbringing has nothing to do with the name. She even managed to reply "It has nothing to do with superstition".

LOL nothing to do with superstition? So what's her basis then? Ugh!

------
Oh and before that, MIL and hubby had a short video call while we're out walking. MIL wanted to see me and her comment was "Oh she looks fat now". (Which I'm seriously not. I'm effin wearing bulky winter clothes and my weight is 56kg considering I'm pregnant). Again, her annoying insensitive mouth.
Your MIL sounds like she is one of those people that will find ANYTHING they can to pick on a person with. If they get chastised about one thing they will simply find/invent another random thing to pick on.

They usually do this to make themselves feel better about themselves. They find things wrong with others -- whether real or made up -- to concentrate on rather than have to acknowledge anything that is wrong with themselves.

In my opinion these types of people have lost their credibility to be taken seriously. Their opinion has lost any worth, so you should just ignore it.
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Old 06-04-2017
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Your MIL sounds like she is one of those people that will find ANYTHING they can to pick on a person with. If they get chastised about one thing they will simply find/invent another random thing to pick on.

They usually do this to make themselves feel better about themselves. They find things wrong with others -- whether real or made up -- to concentrate on rather than have to acknowledge anything that is wrong with themselves.

In my opinion these types of people have lost their credibility to be taken seriously. Their opinion has lost any worth, so you should just ignore it.
In a way her words doesn't affect me as much as before.

However, I still couldn't help but get irked whenever I hear her voice on the phone (especially when MIL and hubby are videocalling). Oh well....
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Old 07-24-2017
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Recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. In the past I was having drama about MIL not wanting our baby to have my eyes. Well, it turned out that baby looks like my male version (but with his father's nose) and people have nonstop telling us that he is a very handsome boy.
I dont have no new issues so far with MIL and she looks very happy to see her grandson on video calls.


Some of hubby's family and friends still claims that he looks like his dad's carbon copy and surprisingly I dont feel any remorse about it. I'm just purely happy that people finds him adorable no matter what they think he looks like.
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