A plan of action

Atlantis

Well-known member
What do you people think we must do to overcome this.

I want to do something but I dont have a determined plan of action.

Can anyone help me with this ?

I am willing to do whatever is needed but I don't know what to do.

Should I start saying anything that comes to mind without caring for other judment? Should I pretend nothing happened when something go wrong... like ignore it ?

I was thinking about acting in the way I want and try to ignore the suffering when it comes using all my strenght. I would really like any opinions because when I addhere to a strategy I cant judge. I dont know if it is right or wrong the way I act.

So opinions please !!!
 

Infected_Malignity

Well-known member
Exposure, duuude.

I'm pretty sure there's no other way out, but that's cause I'm sort of a pro-action kind of guy. I'm starting to think every other method is just an attempt to beat around the bush, instead of accepting what you've been dealt with and just doing the best you can to learn from your situation.

The only thing is, it takes balls. I struggle with this a lot. It's kind of like plotting suicide in a way - just try keeping it as quick and painless as you can! The faster you bite the bullet, the faster your anxiety totally gets released. And sometimes doing one little drastic thing can change the entire course of your day.

The only problem I've had with this method is, while I can kill my anxiety COMPLETELY for the rest of that day, I find that - when I go home from work and go to sleep, wake up the next morning and drive back - that the entire process starts over again. I still start out the day afraid to crawl out of my shell completely, and it can seem like it's going nowhere at all... until I take appropriate action again to relieve my anxiety, etc, etc.

Anyway, that's just my method. I'm curious as to what others have to say on the topic, and I'm also curious as to what you think is the best way of going about killing off anxiety. In my book, any positive attempt to slay the monster is one small step closer to total freedom. If it's all in good spirit, there's no wrong way to do it.
 

Carol

Well-known member
I'm not sure I understand the question. You're asking about SA, but what exactly do you want a plan of action for? Going out in public? Dealing with co-workers? Answering the phone? The plan of action would depend on the situation.
 

Atlantis

Well-known member
To go out in public... to talk to people. Like to be comfortable in the middle of people and talk with them without problems.

I feel like the situation is so hard it cant be solved no matter how much effort I put on it. I needed a way to deal with people without effort like everyone else does. Is there a way to learn that ?

Thanks for any help.
 

desperatehousewife

Well-known member
Do not make any detailed plans and make a move, take action...Doors willbe opened for you.
If you do a detailed plan, so maybe you will give up to reach your goal.Just do it.
 

Atlantis

Well-known member
Infected_Malignity said:
Exposure, duuude.

I'm pretty sure there's no other way out, but that's cause I'm sort of a pro-action kind of guy. I'm starting to think every other method is just an attempt to beat around the bush, instead of accepting what you've been dealt with and just doing the best you can to learn from your situation.

The only thing is, it takes balls. I struggle with this a lot. It's kind of like plotting suicide in a way - just try keeping it as quick and painless as you can! The faster you bite the bullet, the faster your anxiety totally gets released. And sometimes doing one little drastic thing can change the entire course of your day.

The only problem I've had with this method is, while I can kill my anxiety COMPLETELY for the rest of that day, I find that - when I go home from work and go to sleep, wake up the next morning and drive back - that the entire process starts over again. I still start out the day afraid to crawl out of my shell completely, and it can seem like it's going nowhere at all... until I take appropriate action again to relieve my anxiety, etc, etc.

Anyway, that's just my method. I'm curious as to what others have to say on the topic, and I'm also curious as to what you think is the best way of going about killing off anxiety. In my book, any positive attempt to slay the monster is one small step closer to total freedom. If it's all in good spirit, there's no wrong way to do it.


Is very true. Its like plotting suicide. Thats one thing I have been thinking recently. I mean, the situation is hard there is no way to change that or avoid it.

I think I keep searching for a correct way to act that will avoid all the problem, or sometimes I try to see the problem as some kind of illusion. And if something go wrong I feel extremely depressed and they always go wrong.

I think we must try to have courage to deal with the problem go there and risk. Its like plotting suicide like you said.

We should try to not give up when nothing happens. It is expected that nothing will happen since the problem is there. It is really difficult it is not a illusion. So if you risk it is really like comiting suicide, there is no guarantee of sucess.
 

scorpion

Well-known member
Advices are not a good thing to give because everybody works in a diferent way. But I can say what is working for me.

First I did what I could to understand my problem(APD) in the best possible way, so I read books about it, do same research and was like "OOOO, this is why i did this". It was usufull because it gave me an explanation for all the stuff I did and thought.
After that I started to think diferently, I made peace whit myself even when sometimes I have avoidant behaviour I just cant stop, I think, "Well its not my fault, next time I will try to do better". I think this change is slowly turning things that where hard to do into not so hard. I am getting more confortable doing things I used to avoi all the time.

This change is taking place right now, slowly but firmly.
I surprise myself from time to time. When I notice I am doing something that before would make me soooo anxious, like calling people, going to places, making small talk whit a stranger, and its OK, I am Ok whit it, not worring about judgements, not wanting to run away, not anxious.
It doesnt happen all the time but happens more often.

Because of that I force myself to go out there into the world, to do stuff more often, not to make stupid excuses in order to avoi them.

The key to me was to understand and accept first and starting to make things the other way second.

I also respect people more because I also understood that the things i did hurted them, you see before I was always rejecting first so I couldnt be rejected, but now I know some people never wanted to do that, and got hurt and desapointed whit my behaviour. Before I couldnt accept someone would want me in their lifes but now I do. I respect that decision and dont jump into the rejection circle.

Well this is my expirience, I hope it can help.

I think its a good idea getting a plan of action whatever it is, if it doesnt work dont give up, just get another one. Before you relise, things are already changing.
 

Atlantis

Well-known member
Something I noticed about me is that when I am at a stressful situation my mind travels away and I don't pay attention to what is happening. I am like absent.

Maybe I try to avoid the problem when I do that. Sometimes I don't pay attention to what the teacher was saying or do not answer when something talk to me. I saw people complaining about me not paying attention.

One day when I was at college the teacher asked me something and I didn't noticed. I just noticed she asked me something because she and everybody else were looking to me when I woke up. Since I am shy and all I didn't say anything like sorry or asked her to repeat what she said.

Is there is some sort of activity to help with that, to help not being absent ?

In social situations I am like almost always absent and that is offensive to people. Usually my mind is flooded with thoughts there is always something on my mind and I think it is causing a lot of problems and I was not even aware of it.

Is there a way to silence these thoughts ? I to participate on what is going on around me.

I think being shy made me very introspective and that caused that absence perhaps, or maybe I always was like that a little absent.


Thanks for everyones else input.
 

Carol

Well-known member
I just thought of something. When I was taking a psychology class in college, I learned about one approach that pyschologists use in helping people learn to overcome SA. They take the patient to a public place and make the person ride the elevator - ALL DAY. And they tell the patient to say something to every person who comes onto the elevator. Usually the patient would be very nervous at the beginning of the day, but by the end of the day they were so tired that they no longer cared at all what anybody thought of them (they were probably just thinking about how much they wanted to go home!!). But that meant that for the last couple of hours of the day, they had the experience of talking to strangers in public without feeling any SA at all. I guess the idea was, that it takes effort and energy to worry and be anxious. So for most people, if you spend enough time practicing doing whatever you're afraid of doing, eventually you're just too tired to be afraid of it anymore. In the process you also get better at it because you've had so much practice.

I've never tried this approach for myself (and now I have kids so I don't have time to be on elevators all day!) but thought I'd share it in case it might work for someone else.
 

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
Scorpion said"
After that I started to think diferently

Since anxiety takes place in our head we probaly have to play mind games with ourselves.

Notice when we are tired or in a hurry we seem to be in a diffrent mind set. Why dont we study how we are thinking during those time of no SA and find a way to use that mind set all the time?
 

Atlantis

Well-known member
I think a good thing to do is finding a work where you have to talk to people like balconist or doing maketing on the phone, something like that. I think thats what I will do.

I noticed that some balconists are very sympathetic. It might be because of their work.

I mean, everything has a technique. Talking is just a technique.
 
Without medication, i think its impossible to live a normal life. Paxil takes away physical symptoms like ticks, blushing and shaking. It also takes away negative thoughts, making your more positive/less depressed. When u take the meds, it makes it so much easier in social situations, and failing doesn't bother me at all. Saying something dumb, then laughing it off makes other people feel more comftrable and tend to like you more. I feel like paxil helped get over my sa and without it ide still be on the comp every day feeling sorry for myself. Taking risks makes you more likely to be succesfull.
 
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