My childhood... Well, eh, ah didnae exactly get the best start in life.
Grew up in a rundown, working-class council estate - the scheme as it's known in Scotland. Then, ma family moved into another council house closer to the centre of the wee town ah still live in.
When we moved was when things started going downhill, really. The emotional neglect,
psycho-logical torment by family.
Ah mean, it was great. If ye disregard being locked outta the house on dark, cold, winter evenings as a means of punishment for misbehaving by my mum. Or just being locked outta the house, general as punishment.
Or the time one of ma sisters shoved me an' ah cracked ma chin off the TV unit - require me to get stitches. Or tha family summer holiday which end in an argument.
My cousins constantly picking on me for their own amusement.
Me being blamed for something, then overhearing my sister saying I should live with her dad (my step-father).
Being viciously bullied during much of primary school. Mainly for being disabled and an ethnic minority. Which ah think might've been the main contributing factor to me being so quiet, and rarely talkin'. Though, ah attempted to make friends by making ma fellow school mates laugh. Because ah hud f**k all else going for me an' ah didnae want go down that whole route of "take pity on the poor f**ker coz he's a spastic". Ooops! Ah mean
"differently abled", tae use the patronising politically correct turn o' phrase.
Then adolescent hit, and that was me fuct! Fat, hairy; a stubbly beard an' massive, droopy tits, all by age 14.
My mum became more distant, emotional, as I enter ma early teens. Started tellin' me how much of a c*nt my dad was toward her because he was abusive towards her physically an' verbally. Thankfully, he buggered off short after ma birth. So can only take her word on that. Then the stereotypical "man-hating feminist" pish started, which has done wonder for ma self-esteem. Nuthin' beats being telt, indirectly, that yer useless. Over an' over an' over an' over again. Best joke ever...
So, being outnumber from a gender standpoint doesnae really give ye a leg to stand when it comes to arguing yer point, y'know? Kinda like Heather Mills.
Then ma dad came back into ma life to attempt to connect wi' the child he never really gave a crap about, during my mid-teens. Not exactly the best time to establish a relationship wi' an absent father but it wus'nae ma choice. He's made it, ma mum agreed it'd best for me. So ah went with it, gave it a chance but after our first meeting I said - in an epic piece of foreshadowing:
Me: "Well, this will'nae work..."
Mum: "How no'?"
Me: "He's a total % u n t. Long time, no see. Aye, funny ye should say that. Ah mean tha f**kin' nerve. Wanderin' back intae ma life actin' like ah owe him money, or summit. He owes me mair than that"
Mum: "C'mon, give 'em a chance?"
Me: "Ye mean like you did?"
Mum: "But he wants tae git tae know ya?"
Me: "Aye, sure he does. That explains tha shite joke an' tha attitude. He's hud 14 years tae get to know me - guess it was'nae worth makin' tha effort?"
Anyway, ah leave it at that. So, yeah, that's pretty much all that ah can recall of my childhood. Pretty shit, but that's how it was, for me.