When I was bullied.

[Gryzor_7656]

Hi people i'm new here

I was bullied mercilessly for five years when I was in school. I always remember the dread i'd have of going to school as I knew every day I was doomed. The things they used to do to me were very mean and cruel but the thing is what made it worse is none of them never had any punishment over it and it hurts to think they all got away with it. Various times I was physically assaulted and spat on and verbally abused as well as forced to do things I didn't want to or face being assaulted again. One time they held me down and stripped me naked in front of half the Girls in my same year (the most embarrassing experience of my life). Another time I was held over something and had stones forcefully pushed up my arse.

Now i'm a man in my 30's and I can honestly say I have put it all behind me and it can be done. I have been through the depths of humiliation and torment and ended up growing to be a good man with a decent life. To all those who have been badly hurt by bullying just take it from me....FIGHT and it all pays off. Those that wronged you get theirs one way or the other as I believe strongly what goes around comes around. Peace all.

 

[Satine]

Excellent for you! I'm glad to hear that you beat the psychological effects of the bullying you endured! I thought I had a hard time, but it sounds like you had even worse. Hats off to you, man.

 

[Ashiene]

When you are being bullied, never fight back or show that you are frightened. Bullies get their strength from your fear. If you fight back, they have a good chance of beating you up so badly you'd never think of standing up to them again.

When you are being bullied, what you should do is appear confident and be nice to them. Most of the time, the bullies will be so shocked by this (that you are being nice to them even though they are bullying you), and the realisation that bullying you will not effect you because you will be even nicer to them after that, that they will stop bothering you again.

I have never been bullied since I was 10 years old (am 19 now) even though my SP began when I was 8, because there are usually hints that someone is going to bully you (stalking, staring, 'accidental' shoves) and you must be aware of these hints and before they can be allowed to progress further, you must go up to them and try to be nice to them.

If someone is staring at you, and you are staring back at him, you'll most likely end up in a fight when he asks you why you are staring at him and you have no answer. What you should do is be friendly to him and say that he has nice clothes or a nice hairstyle or is attractive looking and comment that he must be a popular person because of those attributes.

What a bully wants is to victimise you so that he can boost his low self-esteem. By commenting positively on his appearance or his personality (like saying that he's a really nice person), you are boosting his confidence and he will find no need to bully you.

 

[Satine]

I wouldn't agree with the 'don't fight back' thing; that left me feeling very disempowered. There are different ways of fighting back, but give tit for tat, surely. When I was nice to bullies (which was the main tecnique I used) they just realised that I'd take what they'd do. Maybe not all were expecting it, but they weren't shocked. Being nice to a bully just showed them that I was a pushover.

Maybe that tecnique has worked for you Ashiene, but it was counterproductive for me.

 

[newbie]

yeh being nice to a bully won't work
well for me it hasn't

 

[Gryzor_7656]

Yah that wont work. Its important to show your metal as early as possible.

The mistake I made was I did not respond to the very early stages of bullying. They would use subtle ways to test me and see how i'd respond (when I first started school and no one really knew each other). It was a way to see if I would fight back at all and from then if they saw I didn't then word would start to get around to the other bullies and it would get worse as I would not fight back and there would be more against me with the other bullies. You gotta stop it before it starts so to speak or the momentum against you will get worse and worse.

If I had my time again I would had stood tall straight against the 1 person who started the whole thing by picking on me which from then caused others to become against me because of what he was doing and what he was telling them about me. If I had fought back there and then then things would not have happened the way they did there never would have been a strong conspiracy against me.

 

[alter_ego]

Hi people i'm new here

I was bullied mercilessly for five years when I was in school. I always remember the dread i'd have of going to school as I knew every day I was doomed. The things they used to do to me were very mean and cruel but the thing is what made it worse is none of them never had any punishment over it and it hurts to think they all got away with it. Various times I was physically assaulted and spat on and verbally abused as well as forced to do things I didn't want to or face being assaulted again. One time they held me down and stripped me naked in front of half the Girls in my same year (the most embarrassing experience of my life). Another time I was held over something and had stones forcefully pushed up my arse.

Now i'm a man in my 30's and I can honestly say I have put it all behind me and it can be done. I have been through the depths of humiliation and torment and ended up growing to be a good man with a decent life. To all those who have been badly hurt by bullying just take it from me....FIGHT and it all pays off. Those that wronged you get theirs one way or the other as I believe strongly what goes around comes around. Peace all.

Good God, you went to school with some right bloody psychos! I guess it was different for me being female, I was sometimes bullied for being very shy and quiet but it was only ever name-calling or laughing and tho that hurt at the time it didn't happen very often.

That bit about the stones is particularly disturbing. Whoever was the instigator of that is seriously depraved. I'd stake money on him being in jail now for some serious sex crime.

 

[mndigi]

. Those that wronged you get theirs one way or the other as I believe strongly what goes around comes around. Peace all.

Yeah, I guess their behaviour won't go away when they grow up and one day they will have a lot to answer for...

An important thing I think is they will have a lot to answer for, because human society as a whole has progressed onwards from ideals of power, oppression etc. As a society, humans try not to tolerate dictators and corrupt, selfish people for instance. But humans still are carnal, reptilian, primal, predatory deep inside. It is this which gives rise to things like bullying, and selfish pursuit of pleasure. We'd really need to evolve for many such bad things to go away.

 

[mrb]

yea i was bullied at school , but then years later i met the bloke who did it in a night club , and i was into body building i was bigger stronger , gazza saw the fear in his eyes as i walked up to him , but i just said all right mate looking at him a bit like why shouldnt i punch you on the nose , he looked back as if to say gulp dont hurt me , and just said oh err hi gary , then gazza walked away , funny how things change over the years init , who was the bigger man eh me lol

 

[Satine]

Go you, Mr. B!

 

[thor01]

Yeah sounds like you had it worse than me on the physical side. I only ever really got the verbal side of it, and a bit of pushing around sometimes. I've never been hit in the face luckily, but I always thought there was I chance I would be at some point before I left school. I always hated the environment and most of the people though even though I was never really assaulted in that way you were.

 

[Morgan01]

wow that's intense, I'm glad you are doing well now.