what partner you prefer SA or not SA

[jss]

Hello friends,

I don't know if this question is asked before or not but sorry guys if it is a repeated question

I just found that I am in need to know what other SA fellows think of this issue

especially I prefer my partner to be SA sufferer like me

Note : some are misunderstood my question so here is the clarification

I meant say if you have 2 persons one has SA but the other doesn't
which one you would prefer to be your spouse or partner in life?

this question is not for singles or teens only
this is for all SA fellows even if you are 100 years old :lol:
for people who already married or not singles just imagine if you were still single what option you would choose?

 

[redlady]

:?:

 

[young]

i wouldn't want anyone to go thru what i go thru. I wouldn't wish sa on my worst enemy.

 

[jss]

It seem you understand my question wrongly

I didn't mean if you have a spouse do you prefer her/him to become SA like you

I meant say if you have 2 persons one has SA but the other doesn't
which one you would prefer to be your spouse or partner in life?

I hope I could explain it clearly

i wouldn't want anyone to go thru what i go thru. I wouldn't wish sa on my worst enemy.

 

[young]

so i have a spouse and a girlfriend... sweet!


but i wouldn't care. as long as she made me happy. that wouldn't matter to me.

 

[sensitive]

I would prefer her to be a social phobic like me. Actually both have strenghts, blindsopts so not easy to choose. I can understand if anyone said i'd prefer him/her to be nonsocialphobic. Anyway i prefer that coz it will be emotionally easier to me, i guess you understand that.

Till now, majority prefer social phobic yeeeeeeeeeeeeees

 

[SaharaWorld]

I'd prefer my spouse to be gentle and sensitive but MUCH more confident and outgoing than I am, just not a SOCIAL ANIMAL. This is because his confidence will rub off on me and it will give me the push I need.

I can't imagine anything worse than dating someone who also has SA. One of my concerns would be the effect this will that have on our children. If they see both parents behaving awkwardly/nervously with other people, I worry they'll copy the behaviour, pick up on our mannerisms and start to exhibit the same anxieties.

 

[sugaryberries]

I don't know. That's an interesting question. I would like the person to not be as shy as me, because I like to try new things and maybe a non affected partner could help me "come out of my shell". But at the same time maybe an affected partner and I would appreciate the same things.

Overall, I'd say a non affected person.

 

[talisman]

I'd prefer someone like me...some I could relate to. Not someone who can't go into a public place (or who is continually depressed), but neither someone who can dive into any social situation without second thought.

As for two shy/sa people being a limiting factor, I personally think they would give each other extra confidence just by being together, so it would be a helfpul thing overall.

I can see the advantages of someone not as shy as me, but I don't think I'd feel comfy around them. I need people like myself, I don't really adapt to others that well.

 

[neolithic_man]

By the responses, it seems generally the SA guys prefer SA girls, but SA girls want non-SA guys. Kinda sad actually not even an SA girl likes SA guys...

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I've never had a boyfriend who has SA...I've had some that are shy, but they didn't have near the problems I had.
The last one I had though was really outgoing & social...we were complete opposites. Which worked out great at first, but I guess he eventually started to hate me for being different because he started ignoring me and I still haven't heard from him. And his last words were "I love you". :roll: Then I never heard from him the next day and he wouldn't answer my calls or emails. People like that should be locked up and tortured the rest of their miserable lives. :twisted: :evil:

 

[lostboi]

I'v never had a girl friend that has been SA. but my last girl friend was kind of out there. I thought she was shy at first but she turned out to be really outgoing and finally got fed up with my "mopey gothness" and left errr.. for a nother girl!!?. but that's another story. She's the only one who ever kind of understood me. I think I'd rather be with someone like me who has SA, so if nothing else we could at least hide away together. :?

 

[lonelycranberry]

I'v never had a girl friend that has been SA. but my last girl friend was kind of out there. I thought she was shy at first but she turned out to be really outgoing and finally got fed up with my "mopey gothness" and left errr.. for a nother girl!!?. but that's another story. She's the only one who ever kind of understood me. I think I'd rather be with someone like me who has SA, so if nothing else we could at least hide away together. :?

i like ur last sentence!!this is indees a vry intresting ques. there r adv. and disadv. with both choices. i being a sa, if i go 4 a non sa then sure thr wil b a lot of positivety arnd me btu will it really seep into me??will it really break the barrier around me n change me??it may happen only if the person loves me like crazy..but why will he...why will a normal person love someone like crazy who cannot give her evrythin back to him;who will always keep a large part of herself wih herself only
on d other hand if both r sa then nothin will b hidden from the other, but life will be very stressful 4 both- all the time solvin each others probs n maybe they will together get even further from reality than singularly. n mayb they will not hav many intrestin things to do together.....but if both r determined to get better together then nothin better than that..!
so considering both d options i think its difficult to 4 a sa to maintain a long term relationship wid a non sa coz as other ppl have also said -thr will alwys b a barrier. as of now i wud go 4 a sa man. but if a non sa man is ready to love me like crazy then ill surely go 4 him!!! bcoz..though im in such a miserable state i still believe-love conquers all!!!

 

[renegade]

I have just began a relationship with someone who had SA too. Admittedly..there are other issues but I find that we are struggling. I think I would have prefered to have my SA and depression sorted before a relationship began.

Sadly...the relationship ended.

I think I shall wait until my SA is sorted before I try again...save myself the heartache.

Sorry to hear that, but I think it's better 4 u that you 2 ended the relashionship sooner, cause if it would have lasted longer you have had invested a lot more feeling and the break-up would have been more painfull.

Try to keep in mind this Good luck with your future one xxx

i suppose having an outgoing partner opens up much more opportunity and creates more interesting situations/experiences than being with a fellow sp/sa dude so..i suppose if youre insisting..i'll stick with the non-sp gf...maybe it would get boring to be with someone with the same small world as me?

I don't suppose, I am tottaly sure of that, and an outoing, talkative and non-depressed partner can be really contagious and you can really go out there and have fun, and when the SP kick in, she will be like your shield...I've been through there, belive me

Well, that and the fact that I told her I have SP, and with her being so understanding, nce and sweet there was absolutelly no barrier among us

I guess choosing a SA partner would minimalize your social contact and yould'nt help you that much to overcome this ''mental disease'' compared to a non-sp one. This s my oppinion.

I only had one relashionship till now and right now I'm trying one with a SP girl from my town. She is not that bad, as I showed her some sites, and she has said that she is not that phobic. Enough about this subject cause I'm going offtopic, I'll go discuss this fact in another topic.

So my present decision, NON-Phobic :lol:

 

[pea]

ed

 

[allanboy]

It’s not all rosy peachy peachy, we do have fights and argue but in the heat of it we usually end up laughing at each other and come to compromises.

What do you usually argue about?

 

[pea]

ed

 

[bipsi]

I totally agree with Pea.

 

[thugaveli]

I think a partner who is normal but more on the sensitive and understanding side of SA

I think an SA relationship can be quite stuck and unadventurous

I prefer normal less intimidating people who arn't OTT

 

[GIOLANDA]

By the responses, it seems generally the SA guys prefer SA girls, but SA girls want non-SA guys. Kinda sad actually not even an SA girl likes SA guys...

But there are exceptions too,like me:
1 I like men generally.
2 I like people with SA.
3 So I love men with SA! (I never had one though,SA or not )