Validation

[kihira]

I'm starting to realise that I have an absence of validation in my offline world, both receiving and giving it, I guess I've never known what it was, that its something that I've only lucidly experienced online.

What does validation mean to you?

 

[Aletheia]

Any sort of confirmation that I'm an okay person.

(And it was hard for me to phrase that as "confirmation".)

 

[coyote]

Validation - YouTube

 

[MollyBeGood]

I think a lot of my sadness and dysfunction in life probably stemmed from not only a lack of validation but being around someone very critical and unable to give me any real credit for anything. This person made no effort ever to make me feel as if I was a good person of importance and value so I being of low self worth bought into it. I think there has to be a point where you just have to value yourself and say fuk you all who don't appreciate me...least that's where I am at anyways '
lately...off topic.. I really feel like I don't fit in anywhere but I also don't care to try anymore because there's no one I care to fit-in with. If I really tried and got rejected that's another story but I just don't care enough to try.

 

[SilentBird]

I find it difficult to internalize validation. I find it easy to internalize disapproval. Actually I don't need anybodies help with that, I can disapprove of myself perfectly well by myself.

 

[Aletheia]

^ This......

 

[Kiwong]

I have received validation recently, which means a lot. I have more of a problem knowing how to reciprocate, or giving validation back, for fear of rejection. My world is one of introspection and possible selfishness. I am not good at understanding the needs of others.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Validation is one of the most crucial aspects of life that we all need. There are certain things people need to survive and to have a sense of well being. Food and sleep most people get, but validation is one that people often do not get.

If a child is not validated, they will go through life feeling disconnected and unwanted, unable to function properly. Validation means to affirm that someone is acceptable and okay just as they are. To treat a person as if they are a person of great worth. If this is done properly, anxiety and depression will be kept very low.

If a parent is not validated themselves, then they cannot properly validate their child.

 

[Anton45]

Validation is one of the most crucial aspects of life that we all need. There are certain things people need to survive and to have a sense of well being. Food and sleep most people get, but validation is one that people often do not get.

If a child is not validated, they will go through life feeling disconnected and unwanted, unable to function properly. Validation means to affirm that someone is acceptable and okay just as they are. To treat a person as if they are a person of great worth. If this is done properly, anxiety and depression will be kept very low.

If a parent is not validated themselves, then they cannot properly validate their child.

It's hard to argue with most of what you say except for your last sentence, I make sure to properly validate our boys whenever appropriate,needed or just feels right. That's after a childhood of receiving very little in this repect from my dad.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Ill concede that. I think its much harder to actually pass on the spirit of wholeness to children, when the parent is not whole and validated themselves. I personally believe that there's a chemistry of relating to children which goes way beyond physical and verbal actions, which actually may be easier to do properly. Not saying its impossible to raise healthy children if someone is broken and unaffirmed, but there is a major way we relate to our children which is chemically and non-verbally based. Unbeknownst to us, our brokenness and unaffirmed state is "contagious" in a way. This is my belief based on observation and reading various psychological material.

 

[Anton45]

Unbeknownst to us, our brokenness and unaffirmed state is "contagious" in a way. This is my belief based on observation and reading various psychological material.

It`s interesting you say that because if it is contagious it`s not always obvious. After a pretty bad time a month or so back I was talking to my mum about how I am still having Anxiety issues after all these years and she was genuinely shocked. She also commented on how others had described me as the opposite of someone who had SA. I have learned how to cover it up pretty well most of the time, for me it`s work that is still a huge problem when it comes to anxiety and I have only told my wife about my intrusive thoughts.

 

[Roman Legion]

Validation - YouTube

I don't smile, unless I am laughing at something.. I had a drill sergeant that tried to get me to smile, she went through everyone else in the squad and never got past me.. Her point was about keeping our military bearing at all times.. But, I just don't smile.. (Not smiling worked in my favour there) Everyone else had to do push-ups for smiling. The most I have ever done outside laughing at something humourous is a forced one.. Really odd too.. Almost like a smirk, but not meeting the definition of one. I guess my smirk like smile is easily described as being an unemotional face where the mouth is a straight line, it stays straight and closed, just tilts a bit. I remember on vacation and as a child my father got what appears to be a smile by making me laugh.. He tickled me as a kid once for a picture and told a joke on our last vacation (2009).