Trying to change

[cobblestones]

This year I have decided that I really want to make an effort to become more outgoing and make new friends. At the moment I have what I consider to be 0 friends but many acquaintances. I have gone out several times by myself this week but lately I feel like my SA is getting worse. I feel more insecure than I usually do and I have felt very depressed lately. My mom says I'm doing the right thing and to just give it time but I just feel so hopeless. I don't have any friends so it's not like I can just call someone up and say "do you want to go here or there?" As a result I end up going everywhere by myself and usually feel bad when I get to where I'm going because I don't know anyone there. I feel overcome by loneliness and I don't see any way out.

 

[CelestialDreams]

I think it's great that you are taking the chance to try to get better, it might be the only way that any of us will ever get over our SA, we gotta find the courage to fight through and face our fears. A lot easier said than done, I know, but what matters is that you are trying.

Maybe you could try meeting someone local over the internet first, get to know them online, then meet them in person and go out and do things with them? For me, it's still very scary and difficult because I can talk to people online just fine, and even after talking to them for months, my SA still kicks in when I've met anyone in person.. but if you can fight through it, eventually it gets easier to be around the person and you'll find that you finally have a friend.

Of course, that's a lot easier said than done too, because I know a big part of being afraid of people or socializing is the fear that people won't fully understand you (at least for me). I know I get turned away when I meet new people and have nothing in common with them, it's what makes it that much harder to open up and is what really drives my fears.

One thing I have been looking for is support groups or any kind of group where you feel like you'll be around people that you can relate to. If you can find something like that, perhaps you could meet people within the group and become friends with them.

 

[JCS008]

I think its great that you're giving it a shot cobblestones. I understand its very hard, but you should be proud. Its definitely not easy to step out of your comfort zone. But take peace in knowing that you've addressed the hardest part and have comfront your fears. I wish you the best of luck!

 

[Jannah]

I too am dealing with isolation. I have no friends so I don't go out much unless I go out by myself. I have gotten frustrated with the situation I am in, feeling so lonely and depressed. I get irritable easily when I am feeling my lowest and probably don't look approachable for socializing with, so I can't really blame people for taking it the wrong way.

 

[Redzer]

well its good that u want to change think of some places were u might have to interact with others then see if ya can make some friends