true hell of pure o = SA for me

[thoughts2]

ill start this off by saying this is my first time to do this online. i have a rare OCD disorder that's a little dangerous to myself and those around me. iv seen five doctors so far to see if they could help me and so far they have all made it worse or did nothing to it. i have been thro thousands of dollors in meds and appointments all for nothing i have almost been forced to live in a sycotic ward even but was dismissed at the last second thanks to my parents. due to what i have it has all so made me in to an insomniac because it scares me in to not sleeping at nights. this is what i have. at any given moment at any given time during the day i will have a sudden urge to kill anyone and everyone around me it doesn't matter if i know them or not family friend or stranger who ever is closest to me at the time of the thoughts but not just kill them but to do it in a way that it would make them suffer and after they die i want to eat them. i have these thoughts 2 to 6 times a day. sadly the thought have been getting stronger and happening more times a day and they last longer now. and i find my self to start playing with the thing i want to kill the person with. i cant sleep at nights because i have nightmares every night about killing people hunting them down and then eating them when there alive. i scream allot during my sleep the rare times that i do sleep i sleep every other night for 2 hrs I'm to scared to sleep anymore. i don't know what to do anymore i cant seem to cure these on my own can someone please help me or is someone out there like me? im scared to hang out with my friends now b/c im afraid i might snap finaly

 

[Walk]

I have a feeling you're just fucking around, which is not cool.

If this is true, call 911 or any hotline relevant to your issues and get the fuck off the internet.

 

[thoughts2]

I have a feeling you're just fucking around, which is not cool.

If this is true, call 911 or any hotline relevant to your issues and get the fuck off the internet.

and its not funny to fuck around with people who go to sites like this looking for help then u have the fucking nervs to get mad at someone reatching out for help

 

[lettypagb]

jesus ,u can kill me if u want

 

[Richey]

If you are genuine about helping yourself then you'll book yourself into an institution as soon as you can especially if you are unable to stop these urges yourself, they'll lock you in a room and give you medication that will make you feel ill but it changes your chemical balance in your head, don't walk out until these thoughts have vanished .. ....

try electro-shock therapy, medication, eat healthy,

understand how sick and awful it is to crave cannabilism.

i'd hardly eve recommend an institution because i believe most people can cure themselves without medication if they put in the hard yards and cahnge their lifstyle and patterns, but in this case it may be the best thing for you