The symptoms...Whats the cause....

[The Observer]

Of your SA?

We all know what the symptoms include but what honestly is the main root or "cause" of this problem you have. If you had to pinpoint just ONE thing or two small factors that made you get SA what was it? Do you even know? did your doctor say it was this or that or did he just throw a load of tablets at you? Does you therapist know what it is or is she/he just taking your money and treating the symptoms of the problem but neglecting to look at and treat actual base of it? If you have found the main reason that sparked this entire thing off in the first place what are you doing to fix it?

Just curious and would like some insight.

 

[BlueDays]

Sustained bullying in school caused mine.
The resulting thought patterns are so ingrained that therapy and CBT have not been sucessful in erasing them.

 

[alanj]

One major factor for me that kept fueling the SA monster was my facial demeanor. I kept believing my demeanor was completely unacceptable and stood out in social situations and that I did not have a neutral face. One does not want to look miserable on supposedly happy social occasions or too smiley for that matter because people would comment on that also. This harped back to when i was a teenager and my demeanor was sometimes commented on and I was taken aback by it and it exponentially increased my self consciousness.

But was this just a symptom of low self esteem anyway, whereby I was worried about the opinions of others instead of being grounded in myself?! ::
But having said that, the work I've done in being more facially relaxed and reinforcing the belief that my demeanor is ok has helped.

Overall I believe that people with SA constantly look outside themselves for validation and approval, and that is the FATAL error.

 

[The Observer]

To right it is man. You picked up on what I was getting at that I didn't say in the post, Fairplay. I think a lot of these issues start with people who have little or no self confidence, self esteem, and no love for themselves. Obviously their is other factors such as reasons like yours, twiggles and bluedays. I found that as I got more self confident I cared less how others saw me and needed there approval. I think people really need to work on those major influencing factors first before they tackle the symptoms of SA. Thats how I would want to do it if I had SA again. It seems to make sense to me that It might be easier to over come your SA if you went about it this way.

 

[fitftw]

I was born crazy. I remember being under 10 years old, and I would be in the backyard and I'd see a plane fly overhead and I'd just stare at it and pray that it would drop a bomb on me or fall out of the sky and land on me.

So I caused my own SA. I've never been cool around people. I always hated being around people. Never felt comfortable.

 

[Paahi]

I don't know. I've been this way for as long as I can remember.

 

[Feathers]

My parents have a temper and can be very talkative and opinionated... I can too...
Many times, we just 'clashed'... And I internalized any 'faults' they found with me into meaning 'not being a good enough person' or such... Some things from the past I'm not exactly proud of either... Also being perfectionistic and other 'classic' CBT 'thought distortions'...

I kinda 'liberated' myslef from it via many books and meeting new people etc. to a great degree... Living at home again, in a small town where people have different lifestyles and priorities, it's just difficult I guess... Maybe in a city or in a different environment I'd be a different person again?

 

[goldatom]

Becoming fat at a really young age caused mine. I hate it!

 

[Starchild]

I think for me it's a mix between having a mother who switched between not caring at all and telling me I was useless, etc., and a father who also struggles with dealing with other people...

Maybe it's a little bit too easy of me to blame them, but that's what I think, anyways. I had a nice childhood with lots of good friends, and even though I've had a couple of bad friends, I've never experienced anything that would make me end up like this. So I do think the mix of parents I ended up with has a lot to do with it.