The right time to speak up

[Zod]

Does anyone else always have trouble with knowing when exactly to speak up in a conversation (with multiple people)?

Whenever I am in groups, and something peaks my interest and I want to chime in, most of the time I wait for a quiet moment, and then when I speak almost always someone else speaks too at that time, and what I say is buried. Or I accidentally talk through someone else, and everyone is kind of like WTF.

Like I recently went to a tour in a museum, and I wanted to ask a question when the tourguide stopped speaking, and exactly at that time she started speaking again, so I felt bummed .

Why is it that I lack tact to talk at the right time? I feel like I have to walk on eggshells in groups.

 

[Silatuyok]

There are nonverbal cues that you can give to let someone know that you wish to get a word in. There is also a certain amount of overlap that is socially allowable when speaking right after another person, so long as you aren't completely changing the conversation, because that is usually considered rude. Try to observe how others do it, and mimic what you see until you get it right.

 

[jaim38]

Same thing for me too. When the other speaker pauses, I don't have anything to say. But when the speaker is talking, I have something to say so I either have to wait for another pause or interrupt. Sometimes I interrupt which is kinda rude. Other times I let the speaker go on and on, but later on I forget what I wanted to say.

 

[jaim38]

There are nonverbal cues that you can give to let someone know that you wish to get a word in. There is also a certain amount of overlap that is socially allowable when speaking right after another person, so long as you aren't completely changing the conversation, because that is usually considered rude. Try to observe how others do it, and mimic what you see until you get it right.

What about phone convos? I can't see verbal cues from the other person.

 

[Silatuyok]

What about phone convos? I can't see verbal cues from the other person.

I don't know, I don't think I've ever had a phone convo with a group of people.

 

[Zod]

True, but it seems like speaking in groups is like a competition at times. It's frustrating that not everyone gets the same limelight because the more loud and outspoken people get it all. I guess it's also a matter of wanting to be heard and proving myself, and my enthusiasm taking over too much, resulting in tactless timing. I guess I should try to remain calmer and more confident in conversations. It's just frustrating, because I feel like I have some good things to say.

 

[Zod]

I want to add, it also feels sometimes like people don't take me seriously in groups, and don't listen to what I have to say.

 

[kihira]

Depends much on the make up of the group, if there are conversation hogs it's harder. When there are gaps in a conversation, the timing is difficult when your brain has to go think.think.think.think before talking

 

[spurs13]

Same thing for me too. When the other speaker pauses, I don't have anything to say. But when the speaker is talking, I have something to say so I either have to wait for another pause or interrupt. Sometimes I interrupt which is kinda rude. Other times I let the speaker go on and on, but later on I forget what I wanted to say.

Story of my life :/