bulldog21083
Well-known member
Over the last few weeks I've gotten to the point where I am determined to conquer my SA. I know it will never totally go away and I'll probably always be a little shy, but I know I can improve my social skills. So I started reading a book about shyness and it does have some interesting points that made me think.
It points out that probably the biggest problem with people with SA is that stupid judgemental "voice" we hear inside our heads that tells us everything we want to say or do will be judged negatively by others. The book says that the judgement we make about ourselves is way worse than how anyone else would judge us.
I don't know about you guys but no matter how hard I try to tell myself that a lot of people don't care how I act, won't judge me, and some people are probably just as nervous as I am, I keep hearing this judgemental voice inside my head saying I am going to fail. Even when I have gotten awards at work or get told I did a good job on something I can never help but think that I didn't really do anything to deserve it and that they are just giving it to me cause they feel sorry for me or they don't really mean it. Lately as I go to sleep at night I try to think positive thoughts about myself and visually picture myslef being around a group of people and being comfortable and talkative. Maybe over time that will help, who knows.
A lot of people say that the low self esteem develops over time after not having much of a social life. But there's definitly times that I was fairly happy with my social life but I still lacked the self confidence I wish I had. So that makes me think that like so many other personality disorders, it's just something you're born with. It's just too bad there isn't a medication out there that will make the negative judgements we constantly make about ourselves go away it might solve our problems. IF only I would stop hearing judging myself so harshly maybe I could overcome my shyness.
It points out that probably the biggest problem with people with SA is that stupid judgemental "voice" we hear inside our heads that tells us everything we want to say or do will be judged negatively by others. The book says that the judgement we make about ourselves is way worse than how anyone else would judge us.
I don't know about you guys but no matter how hard I try to tell myself that a lot of people don't care how I act, won't judge me, and some people are probably just as nervous as I am, I keep hearing this judgemental voice inside my head saying I am going to fail. Even when I have gotten awards at work or get told I did a good job on something I can never help but think that I didn't really do anything to deserve it and that they are just giving it to me cause they feel sorry for me or they don't really mean it. Lately as I go to sleep at night I try to think positive thoughts about myself and visually picture myslef being around a group of people and being comfortable and talkative. Maybe over time that will help, who knows.
A lot of people say that the low self esteem develops over time after not having much of a social life. But there's definitly times that I was fairly happy with my social life but I still lacked the self confidence I wish I had. So that makes me think that like so many other personality disorders, it's just something you're born with. It's just too bad there isn't a medication out there that will make the negative judgements we constantly make about ourselves go away it might solve our problems. IF only I would stop hearing judging myself so harshly maybe I could overcome my shyness.
