Opaline
1
An "ugly" guy with confidence goes way farther in life than a handsome man with no confidence.
I wish more people understood this.
An "ugly" guy with confidence goes way farther in life than a handsome man with no confidence.
Exercise and meditating with music also really helps..
Being in a constant state of anxiety - as I am in all types of social interaction - results in becoming "stuck" in the Amygdala part of your brain.
For CBT to actually work you need to get yourself out of the Amygdala part, and into the Prefrontal Cortex part of the brain.
Only then will CBT be able to work. The hard part is trying various methods to find which one successfully gets you out of your Amygdala and into your Prefrontal Cortex. Their is more complexity to it, but that is the gist of it.
CBT still won't work for me because I have not been able to find a method of getting my thoughts out of the Amygdala (during a social situation) yet for any longer than a few minutes.
You might be objectively ugly and worry about other people criticizing you, for example. If you are, it is a fact that other people will be criticizing your looks, so it is normal for you to feel anxiety when exposing yourself. In cases like this, no psychologist is going to be able to change your thoughts, since they arise from reality and are indeed rational.
yes CBT is very clever tool but when your fear and panic paralyse you (Amygdala) in the middle of a social interaction... your thinking brain goes blank... and when you cant think, you cant use CBT which is a "reasoning" therapy...
did you find any techniques that may work to get out of the amygdala grip ?
As long as you aren't John Merrick, you'll be fine. I can guarantee that you don't look anything like him, mate.
And also.. has the world become so shallow that a few subtle imperfections in looks cause problems? I have trouble believing that.
Objectively ugly to whom? Isn't that subjective? An "ugly" guy with confidence goes way farther in life than a handsome man with no confidence.
Social anxiety caused by irrational thoughts is treatable; social anxiety caused by rational thoughts is not.
On a side note, an efficacy of 60% is ridiculously low. Are we really supposed to consider psychology to be a reliable science with figures like this?
I highly recomment this book to all of you http://www.amazon.com/What-Say-When...eywords=what+to+say+when+you+talk+to+yourself
It's not a "feel good" book in the sense that it doesn't give you the old "oh think positive thoughts" thing. It actually explains where your thoughts take place, how they take place, their origins, and how to change the programming of the inner workings of your thoughts, so that you can provide yourself with real, meaningful and long lasting change in perspectives and also in your life. It's a very interesting and compelling read.
I am afraid that if I change the way I think, other people will get angry at me. I am already monstrously offensive without meaning to be. I have often been identified as a disgusting, sub-human troll. If I display any hints of self-confidence, I am afraid that others will be so angry they will destroy me.
People throw around the word troll a lot online, even for just expressing an opinion. So I'd take it with a grain of salt. :thumbup:
I highly recomment this book to all of you http://www.amazon.com/What-Say-When...eywords=what+to+say+when+you+talk+to+yourself
It's not a "feel good" book in the sense that it doesn't give you the old "oh think positive thoughts" thing. It actually explains where your thoughts take place, how they take place, their origins, and how to change the programming of the inner workings of your thoughts, so that you can provide yourself with real, meaningful and long lasting change in perspectives and also in your life. It's a very interesting and compelling read.
I am afraid that if I change the way I think, other people will get angry at me. I am already monstrously offensive without meaning to be. I have often been identified as a disgusting, sub-human troll. If I display any hints of self-confidence, I am afraid that others will be so angry they will destroy me.
What makes you appear so offensive? Others can only destroy you if you allow them to. If you're cool in your own skin, the things they say to you will only bounce back.
What were the therapists' motives to call you that exactly? They don't just say that out of nowhere.