self improvement = #1 confidence booster

[weak]

Do you agree?

Seems like a lot of our insecurities stem from what we see as imperfections. Just watch Dr. 90210. There will be some girl who's really overweight or has a crooked nose. They talk about how depressed they are and how much they hate their life. Then they go under the knife, have their problem corrected and they always come out a completely different person who loves life.

Anyone ever try self improvement as a means to boost your self esteem? It often helps with anxiety as well. It's all relative.

I'm not talking specifically about plastic surgery. There's all types of self improvement, whether it be tanning and working out, or perhaps just a new outfit or a good haircut.

Even taking a martial arts class can help with confidence. I know a friend who went through a huge transformation after taking a year of Krav Maga. He went from a shy guy who always kept his head down to a full blown alpha male.

What do you think? I know not everyones problems revolve around vanity, but a little self improvement cant hurt.

 

[Sad-Kitten]

Yes i think it can really help, i'm trying to lose about 20-25 pounds and fix a few other things and i think it will help my confidence quit a bit.

 

[Klaus]

I watch this Tv show sometimes and people there are not social phobic.
They can be ugly, but their lives are pretty normal, they don't lock themselves at their rooms.

 

[Walk]

Yeah, I imagine it can work, but vanity in itself probably leads to seeking approval of others when the most important approval to achieve is your own self's approval.

So even though looking good is awesome, there's nothing like knowing you've accomplished something that's meaningful through your own talents. Things like music, art, teaching... etc.

I've heard that success leads to more success. Seems like a good generalization to me.

I'm in school and doing fairly well, and plan on doing martial arts soon, so i should feel more or less accomplished with my own efforts, not just merely from my looks (although still important, no question about that).

 

[phoenix1]

Ha, I want to see that Dr. 90210 show. I wonder if they show what these people are like a year or 2 down the road? Plastic surgery might temporarily give you a nice boost, but the psychological problems will certainly still be there and the person would most likely find something new to hate about themselves eventually, like some other part of their body or some mental trait perhaps. The list is literally endless.

But working out or taking a martial arts class is a good idea because the confidence is more based on what you can accomplish. The hard work and dedication that leads to the final result is earned. Not to mention exercise is always a good way to lower anxiety and keep your focus better.

 

[Chod77]

I am constantly trying to improve myself and it doesn't make me feel any better. I work out every day just to not feel fat, but it doesn't really make me feel good. I do feel pretty good after I get a haircut though, but that may be because I am so glad to get the hell out of there. lol

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Improving your physical appearance definitely helps with confidence, but I don't know about the SA, necessarily. Especially if you've had it your whole life, like me. I lost over 200lbs (diet & exercise) a little over five years ago & it definitely improved my confidence & the way I felt about myself. I no longer got ridiculed, taunted, or stared at while in public, so it made going out in public easier. But as for my SA, it didn't really do anything. I still have no friends, no job, no.... anything else. I still can't function in social situations.

I'm starting college in ten days, & I know that's going to increase my confidence, too. Because I'll finally have something to say for myself, but it's not going to improve my SA. In fact, t least at the beginning, it's going to make it even worse.

If I woke up tomorrow & suddenly had a million dollars, my life would greatly improve, I'd have less to worry about. But I'd still have SA.

Improving yourself in any way is always great (unless it's done for superficial reasons, imo), but no one should do something purely for the reason of "curing" their SA (or anything else), because what happens when they've improved whatever they wanted to improve & realize they're still in the same situation mentally/socially. It's just going to depress them.

 

[madmike]

Just had to read the title and i agreed completely. Doing things that make me proud of myself often makes me happy and eases the anxiety and all that's related

 

[ventriloone]

breast implants are so disgusting. I don't see the point, there's always those cases you see where they turn out down right disgusting and even if it's perfectly done fake breasts aren't very nice (look like baseballs underneath skin...) Even if i had no breasts (and i was a girl) i still wouldn't get that crap surgery.

 

[nico82]

Improving your physical appearance definitely helps with confidence, but I don't know about the SA, necessarily. Especially if you've had it your whole life, like me. I lost over 200lbs (diet & exercise) a little over five years ago & it definitely improved my confidence & the way I felt about myself. I no longer got ridiculed, taunted, or stared at while in public, so it made going out in public easier. But as for my SA, it didn't really do anything. I still have no friends, no job, no.... anything else. I still can't function in social situations.

I'm starting college in ten days, & I know that's going to increase my confidence, too. Because I'll finally have something to say for myself, but it's not going to improve my SA. In fact, t least at the beginning, it's going to make it even worse.

If I woke up tomorrow & suddenly had a million dollars, my life would greatly improve, I'd have less to worry about. But I'd still have SA.

Improving yourself in any way is always great (unless it's done for superficial reasons, imo), but no one should do something purely for the reason of "curing" their SA (or anything else), because what happens when they've improved whatever they wanted to improve & realize they're still in the same situation mentally/socially. It's just going to depress them.

I agree with you 100%

 

[hartbrokenvirgo]

I can see how self improvements help. like for me i recently started wearing my hair down and i bought some new clothes for myself. plus im starting to eat more healthy everyday and i can see how its making me feel better about myself and i actually want to do more things for myself now. :lol:

 

[sleepysparrow]

(ughhhh gone)

 

[Andrew]

Confidence may have something to do with it but I am not so sure.. I think ultimately our brains just don't have the required bits to deal with anxiety like other people can.

The other thing is self-improvement is only one way to gain confidence. The other way is to just accept who you are and that you cannot change some things and maybe there isn't really any need to change some things.

 

[Angel_Of_Death]

After reading the title and the post of this thread, I had to force myself to respond and enlighten all of you as I have experienced exactly that.

Just to give you an idea, I had a case of gynecomastia since the age of 12-13. For those who don't know what gynecomastia is, it's basicaly a case of breasts development in males around the age of puberty, in most case it's glandular tissue so it doesn't go away with diet or exercise, surgery becomes the only option.

You can't even begin to imagine, the mental suffering I went trough because of that condition. I know for a fact that my social phobia/anxiety was a direct cause from gynecomastia.

After doing alot of research over the years, I finally decided to get surgery done as it was the ONLY option. I was sure my life would change completely, and I was sure it would make my SA go away.

I joined the gym in April of 2007. I lost an incredible amount of weight. I became lean and cut. I got surgery done 1 year later, it cost me about 3000$. That was in April of 2008. It's been 9 months since I've had surgery, and I've continued training at the gym. I have a great body, muscular, lean, cut...I'm in the best shape of my life and I look good. I've gotten attention from women in 9 months that I haven't got in the 24 years of my life.

Having said all this. My social anxiety is still there. I'm still a social phobic. After all this, I thought I would overcome my SA and become super confident. I won't say my situation got worse, but I experience intense anxiety and sweating during summer time, and this was after surgery. I was shocked.

My complete body transformation has improved my life in many levels. So I don't regret it. But in no way did it cure me with SA.

The journey is still a long one....

 

[weak]

Once you have plastic surgery once, you'll want it again and again and never be happy with yourself and even more misarable than you were before. It definately won't solve your problems or take away your anxiety.

I've actually had plastic surgery - Otoplasty, 2 years ago. It's a really basic and common procedure for people with big ears. The doctor just brings em closer to the head so that they don't stick out as much.

The idea is to have the surgery done while you're still young so that you don't get teased at school.... but this didn't occur to my parents, and so I got called 'dumbo' for most of my childhood.

I never even cared about any of my imperfections up until I started getting teased for them. That tends to change things. It's hard to ignore when there's some truth in their insults. My ears stuck out like a soar thumb!

Anyway, since the surgery I've felt better than ever. The doctor did a great job. It didn't eliminate my SA, but it certainly boosted my self confidence, enough so that I could do a lot of things I normally couldn't/wouldn't.

And I have no interest in getting additional plastic surgery. I know some people make a hobby out of upgrading their appearance, but I'm pretty content. The only thing I wanna do at this point is a few of the things mentioned in this thread - work out and get some new clothes.

Looks aren't everything. I'd rather be friends or date someone with half a brain over a plastic face and a fake body. Being real is way more attractive.

I know what type of people you're talking about. A lot of people associate plastic surgery with Michael Jackson or rich housewives wanting to looking 20 years younger from the toes up.

But honestly, most people who opt to have plastic surgery have a legitimate problem. I don't think it's about looking perfect. I think it's about looking normal. Some imperfections garner a lot of unwanted attention and that can be pretty hard.

These are the most common cases, but you don't see much of it on Dr. 90210, as I guess they're more interested in girls wanting tit jobs and lipo.

After reading the title and the post of this thread, I had to force myself to respond and enlighten all of you as I have experienced exactly that.

Just to give you an idea, I had a case of gynecomastia since the age of 12-13. For those who don't know what gynecomastia is, it's basicaly a case of breasts development in males around the age of puberty, in most case it's glandular tissue so it doesn't go away with diet or exercise, surgery becomes the only option.

You can't even begin to imagine, the mental suffering I went trough because of that condition. I know for a fact that my social phobia/anxiety was a direct cause from gynecomastia.

After doing alot of research over the years, I finally decided to get surgery done as it was the ONLY option. I was sure my life would change completely, and I was sure it would make my SA go away.

I joined the gym in April of 2007. I lost an incredible amount of weight. I became lean and cut. I got surgery done 1 year later, it cost me about 3000$. That was in April of 2008. It's been 9 months since I've had surgery, and I've continued training at the gym. I have a great body, muscular, lean, cut...I'm in the best shape of my life and I look good. I've gotten attention from women in 9 months that I haven't got in the 24 years of my life.

Having said all this. My social anxiety is still there. I'm still a social phobic. After all this, I thought I would overcome my SA and become super confident. I won't say my situation got worse, but I experience intense anxiety and sweating during summer time, and this was after surgery. I was shocked.

My complete body transformation has improved my life in many levels. So I don't regret it. But in no way did it cure me with SA.

The journey is still a long one....

I'm familiar with gynecomastia. It's a bitch.

From what you said though, sounds like the transformation has boosted your confidence... which would affirm the thread title.

I think a higher level of self confidence is key to dealing with social anxiety and overcoming the obstacles it presents us with. It may not eliminate it, but it should certainly make it easier to cope with.

Would you agree?

 

[Moonie]

I remember feeling terrific when I started to actually workout and stick with it. I was depressed all of my school career - until I reached my first semester of college. I started to do some toning exercises and walked around the campus a couple evening each night. I then did jumprope, aerobics, etc. I ate healthily and worked out from about 2003 - 2005. I was less stressed, less anxious, more confident, felt great, etc. It was the best yrs of my life.

During 2006/2007, I sort of let myself go. I am feeling depressed again and more anxious. So, I hope I can achieve the happiness I had during those yrs. It's get increasingly hard to have the motivation, tough..

 

[zofia-life-coach]

I think physical improvement is great as long as you honest with yourself what this is really going to give you. People often make this mistake for example loosing weight thinking than I’m going to find a partner and than I’m going to feel loved., or I’m going to work hard, save a money, bay a great car and then everyone is going to like me. There is not point loosing the whole lifetime trying to get somewhere and than at the end be disappointed that the effect we’ve expected is completely different.

Zofia
XX

 

[Angel_Of_Death]

SA is a mental problem.

Getting better physically, whether it's with surgery, training or both, will definitely help with confidence and feeling overall "better", but won't eliminate the problem.

I've always been intimidated by girls, it was normal for me to feel that way before surgery because of gynecomastia and the fact that I was a little overweight, but after having surgery and building myself a new body and knowing I'm an attractive guy...I still feel the same with girls, severely intimidated. I'm not sure what I fear, I have no reason to feel self-concerned as I did before...

It's fucked up!

 

[NewPoster111]

Do you agree?

Seems like a lot of our insecurities stem from what we see as imperfections. Just watch Dr. 90210. There will be some girl who's really overweight or has a crooked nose. They talk about how depressed they are and how much they hate their life. Then they go under the knife, have their problem corrected and they always come out a completely different person who loves life.

Anyone ever try self improvement as a means to boost your self esteem? It often helps with anxiety as well. It's all relative.

I'm not talking specifically about plastic surgery. There's all types of self improvement, whether it be tanning and working out, or perhaps just a new outfit or a good haircut.

Even taking a martial arts class can help with confidence. I know a friend who went through a huge transformation after taking a year of Krav Maga. He went from a shy guy who always kept his head down to a full blown alpha male.

What do you think? I know not everyones problems revolve around vanity, but a little self improvement cant hurt.

You are right. Improving self-image helps you have confidence. It eliminates one more inhibition, which is thinking about how ugly you look or whatever. But you won't ever be cured unless you realize that you need to learn how to be yourself FIRST, and then change a LITTLE AT A TIME. Find out who you are, get in touch with your opinions and values, stick with them, have confidence in them. Then, if there's something you want to change. You can. YOu can only change yourself if you know who you are and know what you want to change.

 

[MotherWolff]

I don't know about this whole self-improvement thing. What about people who just seem perfect like celebrities? Alot of them are depressed. So what about us? What if people like us did self-improvement and still remained the same way(on the inside)? Wouldn't that mean that whatever we did was a big old waste of time and effort? I guess trying something is better than not trying anything though. For example, I would like to lose 40 to 50 pounds,gain muscles, and learn how to pro wrestle. But I have a feeling that not even all that could make me a happier girl.