no enthusiasm or drive

[knowledgeofself]

it seems like when I hit my 30's and I had been out of work for a while my lack of motivation really kicked in. I used to be a lot more enthusiastic about things, now I just can't be bothered with anything. it's really taken me over, I bought a load of new music equipment with a tax rebate a year or so ago as I thought it might kick start some inspiration to get excited about doing something creative but I just can't even be bothered with that either, i'm starting to think about selling it all which I never thought i'd be considering a year or so back.

I think i've always had depressive periods in my life but always managed to snap out of it or fight against it, the difference here has been how I have felt let down by the benefits agencies. as well as feeling hopeless about my life as I came to terms with the fact that I have serious mental health problems and things weren't going to get better or easier. I've asked for help before about physical things to do with my life like exercise and things, but I feel like none of these things are going to help my mind and this neverending feeling of defeat...
:kickingmyself:
does anyone know where i'm coming from?

 

[mikebird]

:numberone:I like it.

I get inspiration from SPW.

I flip from either side of the fence in my mood / status on this thread. Each day, I can start or end the day full of sorrow or misery - a look at my pupils in the mirror... a cold view of my situation. I do benefit from being sad; how amazing life has been, for short periods.

It's rare to get regular inspiration from closest friends; they're physically remote. A direct visit from a friend on Thursday, and another friend this Friday. It changes my life. We started in the town I live, studying. Everyone's left. They say this town is rubbish. I'm stuck here, alone. That's OK. Recent news was a split from his girlfriend, who was a good reason to stay here regularly, but works around the UK. Now he's sad. This town makes him depressed. Other has just split too - the reason for the visit on Friday, with his car packed with all his stuff. This gives me a lift, while trying to make them feel better. I'm not alone in my status. Each of us has plenty to offer to make the other feel better, when either is down. eg. my long hospital visits. :applause:

We are mid-thirties. The others are working; not me, for the last 13 months. Neither are as happy as I've been with every job I've done for 14 years.

Right now, I'm full of motivation and energy. Ready to handle swathes of recruiter pressure tomorrow morning, and much more chance of acting 'pleasantly'

Ummm... I've always been like Ali G, Harry Enfield, Basil Fawlty, Rowan Atkinson & Jack Sparrow all my life, from school days. Making people laugh. Doing things differently. Happy to shriek, run around and vent my emotions. When others are around and I'm not alone. Never saw any Caribbean Pirate movies, because I thought these were for kids, like Harry Potter until recent Stranger Tides was in the limelight. Now, as I write, I'm watching 'em from the start.

Music equipment?
My inspiration for years. We have our Technics Turntables, mixer, home, car kit & serious sound rigs and generators for inside and outdoor parties :numberone:

 

[gustavofring]

Yeah I can fully relate.

Most stable motivation or happiness is short-lived and crashes. Maybe it's just the being out of work that causes depression. Being isolated socially, not having daytime tasks, sleep schedule all messed up. But wether this is the cause of the depression or a symptom of the depression or some other physical condition is the question.

 

[Bouncingsouls12]

I feel the same way. It's weird to me in a sense. There was a time where I was so motivated I was working 80 hour weeks, finishing out school, moved out of my parents house, and had a girlfriend. All of that has kind of crumbled in the past year and now I'm facing the reality of losing my current job in the next 6 months to a year. I have to force myself to keep trying, but it always leads to a dead end. Most days anymore I don't seem to care if I lose my job and everything I've worked for.

 

[knowledgeofself]

Yeah I can fully relate.

Most stable motivation or happiness is short-lived and crashes. Maybe it's just the being out of work that causes depression. Being isolated socially, not having daytime tasks, sleep schedule all messed up. But wether this is the cause of the depression or a symptom of the depression or some other physical condition is the question.

possibly the combination of things, I went from not knowing really what was wrong with me (while I was working) to learning about social anxiety and then ending up feeling hopeless after trouble with the jobcentre not being able to find any type of job or career that would cater to me and my issues. i'm now classed as long term unemployed. things haven't got better, in fact the longer it goes on the worse my prospects become. I also was seeing a lot more friends when I was ignorant of my mental health issues as I believed that any problems I was having socially would eventually be resolved but once I learned the truth I became a lot more pessimistic.
I think the anxiety and the problems it causes often sets off my depression.

 

[knowledgeofself]

I feel the same way. It's weird to me in a sense. There was a time where I was so motivated I was working 80 hour weeks, finishing out school, moved out of my parents house, and had a girlfriend. All of that has kind of crumbled in the past year and now I'm facing the reality of losing my current job in the next 6 months to a year. I have to force myself to keep trying, but it always leads to a dead end. Most days anymore I don't seem to care if I lose my job and everything I've worked for.

what was the trigger that changed things for you? if you don't mind me asking.

 

[Bouncingsouls12]

I'm not entirely sure what triggered it. I mostly want to say I was just sick and tired of letting social anxiety and blushing control my life. I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I could do everything I wanted and achieve my goals. It took a lot of effort and seemed to really be working out for awhile. Also having a girlfriend was a little extra motivation, but this had all started before I met her.

 

[rocky_oreo]

I get this from time to time. Seems like the happy periods don't last long and then they go back to what you describe. I find loud music, a walk or a drive with scenic views usually helps me. Or something I like watching on tv, it just takes me away from reality for a bit. Today however and this last week I have been feeling bored and feeling like I'm invisible as have been writing posts on facebook which no one has responded to and have sent some messages to some friends on there and not one of them has bothered to reply. If just one person replied I think, it would cheer me up a bit

 

[crazycatlady27]

i am getting that feeling today, i want to get up and get on with it, but then i just sit here on my computer or in front of the tv. the only thing i do everyday is the cleaning because if i dont know one else will.
i dont like to call it a depression because i can snap out of it pretty quickly, but its like a black hole.
i am like most, i had a life a job friends places to go people to see and it seems to have just all crumbled around me.

 

[Mario8]

I know how you feel my friend. I`m also into all things creative, and I know for a fact that my situation in life / depression, is giving me the worse writers block possible. Causing this effect of making me feel too tired to even bother with anything. I don`t really know what to tell you because we are pretty much on a relatively similar boat. But... from what I know about psychology, the best ways to get a person more interested in something, is for them to find a way to answer their basic needs: The need to be social, the need to be admired, and the need to be stimulated.

Simply put, if you have friends, than maybe you should hang with them. If you have a girlfriend or a wife, perhaps you should spend more time with them (and if you dont have something like that in your life, than maybe you should work on that). And as for being more physically stimulated, if your a musician, than maybe you should try joining a local band or something.