Need some advice career-wise

Z

Zod

Well-known member
For the past few years I've fallen into serious depression and the 'stuck in a rut' feeling has overcome me for quite a while.

I studied art, and fell out of the study. Lately I've been trying again and again to be productive and make things, but it's just not coming out the way I want: I feel like I've lost my ability to draw and be inspired, even though I try again and again. It's like a broken record, hardly any improvement, no pleasure in doing it anymore and my motivation has also gone down the window. I've tried a lot of things, changing diet plan, exercise, but the depressed fog doesn't seem to lift. I must also say that I've worked nightshifts as a clerk, with irregular sleep so that probably also contributes to the mental and cognitive instability. I will quit this job soon, but atm I'm still feeling the bad effects of it.

I've come to the realization that this struggling and inability to produce is not making me happy, and that it's probably a major contributor to the depression, and maybe I should try and pursue another career or study. Maybe at one point the drawing urge will return but at the moment I feel like it's only making me frustrated. It doesn't help that a lot of my former classmates are doing well, winning prizes here and there and succeed in making a good living.

I'm also seriously doubting wether I want to continue in this field, and it's very late in the game (I'm 27). I find that a lot of other things interest me more. It's either pick another career, maybe I can do a four year study so that I can be done by the time I'm 31/32, hopefully having found something that I'm good at, or continue being miserable the way I am now and hoping things will get better somehow. Of course finances come into play as well, as I've already amassed quite some debt.

I'm just so doubtful, and feel like I should make a decision that will improve the situation and make me feel like I'm working towards something again, instead of going in circles. Swallow my pride, and say "hey maybe I'm just not good at this, I made a wrong decision" and move on to something that suits me. I really fear becoming old and working some underpaid, miserable clerk job as a wage slave, forever regretting that I couldn't make up my mind in my twenties. Maybe I need to talk to a career-advisor or something.

:kickingmyself:
 
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Claudia21

Claudia21

Member
I can really relate to this, although I'm an amateur writer and it is definitely my passion, I haven't gotten around producing anything in the last few months. Though, have you shown you work to anyone before? It sounds that you are being to harsh on yourself by being such perfectionist. In this case I think getting an outside opinion might be the best, please don't assume anything about the person you might asking to look at your work, that might only set you back.

Concerning studying further, you really might want to think about the financial risks involved by going back to college. The money that you could have used for a 2nd degree, you could have spent making yourself and your work more marketable and producing more of your art. My sister who is a single mother was in the same predicament as you, she thought she might study to be physiotherapist rather than used the skills she learned in beauty school to start and grow her business. But luckily she decided against it and chose to do the latter. As you've mentioned if you go back to college now, you might lose out on years where youre art could have been flourishing .Don't give up yet, let overcoming your depression be your first priority, but also do come in contact with someone like a career counselor who can motivate you to grow your skills. Also have you looked at entering some competitions lately?
 
Z

Zod

Well-known member
Hi Claudia, yes, I have shown my art to others. I was in class for about 4 years (it was an animation course) in which I interacted a lot with teachers and fellow students about my art. I've always been a perfectionist, but there were also times I was proud to show my art to others, nowadays just nothing good seems to come out anymore.

It's like the creative candle burned out, mentally and physically I just feel drained and all the things I once aspired to be are no longer there in me. I agree that maybe a different perspective could be good, just tonight I had two ex-classmates coming over and they gave feedback at some of my "forever-in-limbo" projects. Them coming over was one of the reasons I created this thread, because it got me anxious and made me think again of how embarrassing and depressing my current state is. But they are understanding and they gave me some feedback on how I might take steps to improving it to finish it. Their new insights and perspectives gave me some hope. We are also planning a weekly progress kind of thing in which we motivate each other.

Maybe there is some way for me to somehow transmorph my current depressed view on my career and get out of the rut. There is a huge mental block still, but maybe the best thing is indeed to keep working at this career and not give it up. The best thing for me is to probably stick to some kind of schedule (because my lifestyle nowadays is pretty much procrastinating, browsing on the internet, etc.) to start getting back on track, and seriously working towards marketable productions.

Thanks.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Did you consider a career in graphic design? There are a lot of jobs out their that require an artistic eye. You just need to know how to work the software (Photoshop, Illustrator etc).
 
mismeek

mismeek

Well-known member
Imnotmyillness has a good idea.. graphic design would be good.

Do you think that since you're in a negative mood, you're just being too critical of your work? I tend to be like that when I'm down, nothing is good enough. You would either step away from it for awhile, or get a second opinion and have someone else look at it. I would be happy too if you need someone :)

there are many other artistic media you could experiment with also. Try a pottery class or something. Get the juices flowing!

But I wouldn't beat the dead horse if I were you...lol
 
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