Saraswati
Active member
I suffer from social anxiety and depression... I had social anxiety since I was little and I have been depressed for about a year and a half now but I think I have been prone to getting depressed for a long time before. I started taking medication (Zoloft) about 2 months ago.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now (yes, the timing was really bad). He is the sweetest thing ever when he is not in one of his moods. He takes care of me, listens to me, always makes time for me, wants me to get along well with his parents and just simply adores me. He also suffers from depression but it's difficult for me to understand because he doesn't talk us much about it as I do.... But when he gets like this it is a whole different story. He gets angry, everything irritates him and he starts talking about what he hates about me and what annoys him, he takes everything as an insult and starts defending himself and attacking etc. We have had a few bumps along the road - mainly because of our depression. Every time he was feeling really down he would come to me with a proposal to break up. He always said that he cares for me and that he does not want to break up really but that it would be the best for me. I always refused and said that I want to be there for him.
(It would be probably good to mention that he is not very social and the only serious realtionship he got in ended up with him being dumped. He took it really hard and now he is afraid of destroying the walls he has built because is afraid of being hurt again - those are his words.)
Yesterday this happened again. But it sounded a bit more serious.
Some of the things he said were: "I don't want to drag you down.", "If we break up you will found someone better soon enough. And me.... it doesn't matter if I suffer.", "I am always living in the past", "I always make the wrong decision and end up hurting you...", "I know that I will regret breaking up with you" and some pretty hurtful statements like: "I feel like I don't cherish you....I feel like I am the only person on this planet and everything and everyone around me are just objects (including me)....", "When I go out I have a strong desire to walk up to a hot girl and be with her", "I feel like there is one perfect person for everyone and that you are not that person for me" etc. :sad:
I don't know what to think... I am so confused right now....
I started thinking about whether everything until now was just a lie.... Did he ever had feelings for me? Does he have feelings for me and this is just his depression talking??!!
I heard that depression is not the same for men and women...When I am really depressed I start thinking about how I am dragging him down but I never propose that we should break up. And it really hurts when he says things like that to me.
Even so.... I don't want to leave him. I love him so much and all I want is for him to be happy. I want to be there for him like he is always there for me. I want us to break free from depression and start living the life that are human being is supposed to live - a happy one.
So.... I need your opinions.
Do you think that this is just his depression talking? What do you think I should do?
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now (yes, the timing was really bad). He is the sweetest thing ever when he is not in one of his moods. He takes care of me, listens to me, always makes time for me, wants me to get along well with his parents and just simply adores me. He also suffers from depression but it's difficult for me to understand because he doesn't talk us much about it as I do.... But when he gets like this it is a whole different story. He gets angry, everything irritates him and he starts talking about what he hates about me and what annoys him, he takes everything as an insult and starts defending himself and attacking etc. We have had a few bumps along the road - mainly because of our depression. Every time he was feeling really down he would come to me with a proposal to break up. He always said that he cares for me and that he does not want to break up really but that it would be the best for me. I always refused and said that I want to be there for him.
(It would be probably good to mention that he is not very social and the only serious realtionship he got in ended up with him being dumped. He took it really hard and now he is afraid of destroying the walls he has built because is afraid of being hurt again - those are his words.)
Yesterday this happened again. But it sounded a bit more serious.
Some of the things he said were: "I don't want to drag you down.", "If we break up you will found someone better soon enough. And me.... it doesn't matter if I suffer.", "I am always living in the past", "I always make the wrong decision and end up hurting you...", "I know that I will regret breaking up with you" and some pretty hurtful statements like: "I feel like I don't cherish you....I feel like I am the only person on this planet and everything and everyone around me are just objects (including me)....", "When I go out I have a strong desire to walk up to a hot girl and be with her", "I feel like there is one perfect person for everyone and that you are not that person for me" etc. :sad:
I don't know what to think... I am so confused right now....
I started thinking about whether everything until now was just a lie.... Did he ever had feelings for me? Does he have feelings for me and this is just his depression talking??!!
I heard that depression is not the same for men and women...When I am really depressed I start thinking about how I am dragging him down but I never propose that we should break up. And it really hurts when he says things like that to me.
Even so.... I don't want to leave him. I love him so much and all I want is for him to be happy. I want to be there for him like he is always there for me. I want us to break free from depression and start living the life that are human being is supposed to live - a happy one.
So.... I need your opinions.
Do you think that this is just his depression talking? What do you think I should do?