blueflavors
Member
Hi I'm 19, a college student, i basically can't trust anyone, i had 3 besties for over 10 years and then suddenly when i'm not useful like i was and just because i was distant for my national exams, they insulted me, they even created strange rumors about me, they left.
There are two guys who stand up with me, my gay bestfriend and another one who days by days became my boyfriend.
The problem is that i can't get over what happened to me, i was naturally not sociable at all but my ex-besties got to me and i was getting better, but now it's awful.
I'm failling for the first time in my life, my first college year due to depression and long distance because my university is way too far from home.
I'm going to retake the exams next week but i don't even have the courage too.
I'm feeling like i'm falling apart, i'm so lonely, i literally cried every night because i feel like a crap.
My social phobia is back, it's haunting me..
I shutted down my facebook 2 months ago and i don't utter a word even, i have some friends whom i knew them through kpop and i became so distant that they might think i don't want to talk to them that's why they never asked about me, but i'm actually suffering and i can't tell anyone to pity me because i will feel pathetic and that's a NO, and i'm kind of hurt because i remembered some friends birthdays, i sent them short msgs from my phone but no one answered me, so i'm often kept out, it makes me feel more lonely.
I can't trust no one expect my mum, because she's the only one who's by my side, my dad never asks since my parents are divorced.
I fear everybody around me, i can't stand going to the university alone with everybody staring or something, i feel like i want to disappear from this life.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore, so if your life is better than mine, you're blessed my dear.
Thank you for hearin me up, i'm so glad that i found out this forum :greeting:
There are two guys who stand up with me, my gay bestfriend and another one who days by days became my boyfriend.
The problem is that i can't get over what happened to me, i was naturally not sociable at all but my ex-besties got to me and i was getting better, but now it's awful.
I'm failling for the first time in my life, my first college year due to depression and long distance because my university is way too far from home.
I'm going to retake the exams next week but i don't even have the courage too.
I'm feeling like i'm falling apart, i'm so lonely, i literally cried every night because i feel like a crap.
My social phobia is back, it's haunting me..
I shutted down my facebook 2 months ago and i don't utter a word even, i have some friends whom i knew them through kpop and i became so distant that they might think i don't want to talk to them that's why they never asked about me, but i'm actually suffering and i can't tell anyone to pity me because i will feel pathetic and that's a NO, and i'm kind of hurt because i remembered some friends birthdays, i sent them short msgs from my phone but no one answered me, so i'm often kept out, it makes me feel more lonely.
I can't trust no one expect my mum, because she's the only one who's by my side, my dad never asks since my parents are divorced.
I fear everybody around me, i can't stand going to the university alone with everybody staring or something, i feel like i want to disappear from this life.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore, so if your life is better than mine, you're blessed my dear.
Thank you for hearin me up, i'm so glad that i found out this forum :greeting:
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