marrage

[LA323]

do any of you in here have the feeling that you'll never gonna get married, i mean how can i get married if i cant even have a steady relationship, i mean i just have this feeling that is gonna be hard for me when i think about getting married (thats if i get married) which i believe i wont, unless i meet someone that understands my problem, but whos gonna want a lame person, with no ambitions, and goals i life, do any of you feel like this

 

[Waybuloo]

I've never honestly wanted to get married, just not the marrying type i guess. So it doesn't bother me as much as it does u. I've kinda accepted that so i have no expectations for the future. And one in every three marriages or something liek that end in divorce anyway. Marriage can become a tool sometimes, and people don't always marry whom they want, sometimes do it out of desperation, money, security. It can get a bit political (for want of a better word).

There are plenty of 'lame' people who haven't yet figured out their ambition in life. Some people quit their careers because they realise what they've been striving for all along is not what they really want. It takes a heck of figuring out what u really want to do. If u want to improve your chances maybe experiment with what interests u and go from there. Move to a city where females outnumber males where the picking's slim.

 

[redlady]

 

[sensitive]

Of course i'm going to marry oneday.

 

[Septor]

Nope no marriage for me.

 

[jss]

In my thoughts no marriage means to be alone in all of my life.

I can't ever accept that, how can you guys?

 

[Septor]

In my thoughts no marriage means to be alone in all of my life.

I can't ever accept that, how can you guys?

You dont always get what you want.

Besides just because you don't get married does not mean you can't have meaningful relationship

 

[freakalmightee]

not today thanks.

 

[scatmantom]

well marriage is a distant dream to me.

I would like to have a girl friend first off. But I'm 20 now, I'm already so far behind most people my age in terms of experience in relationships, so I am very insecure and in terms of speaking to girls my Confidance is Rock bottom. When I think of having a girl friend and having to go out with her all the time...to restraunts and to the cinema and to clubs, it scares me. These things are hard for me, but maybe the right person will help me to get nearer my goals.

I dont want to be lonely in life, but i feel like time is running out for me already

 

[Waybuloo]

I dont want to be lonely in life, but i feel like time is running out for me already

You're only 20, i'm 21 and i don't feel remotely that time's running out. There's plenty of time. I saw ur pick u're really good looking and pardon me for sayin this u look like the kind that girls would approach :wink: not all hope is lost

 

[Horatio]

I'm not ready to get married at the moment but I do hope I will get married one day. I would MUCH rather have one cute cheerful amazing woman in my life until I die than a collection of attractive but shallow females which come and go.

However it does seem that my Social Anxiety is on track to deny me from either of those options. Im 23 and don't know how to meet girls, let alone date them, let alone form any kind of relationship with them.

My old mates from when I was 17/18 all went off and had girlfriend after girlfriend and now one by one they are all getting engaged and married... but Im still at EXACTLY the same place I was back then... absolutely clueless with regards to knowing how to have a relationship of my own

 

[blight]

Sometimes I think I'll never get married. It's weird because for a long long time...most of my life... I never thought of myself as that different, like I was just a little less social or something than most people. As you get older and the opportunity for social interactions are not forced on you anymore (school, etc) it is easy to become even less likely to find someone. I know when I was just a kid it wouldn't have crossed my mind that I wouldn't grow up, get married, and eventually even have kids of my own...not that I thought about it that much, but it was just ingrained in me. Then it was weird to finally think of the reality of it, that that might not happen.

 

[marc72]

THanks blight for bringing that topic up . i often thing about that . therapy helps me to realize that in any stage in life you can meet someone. she gave me examoples but she is right. I guess for me I would act like Im one of the guys to talk to females at a club or where my chold hood friends go but I never felt "myself" so i drifted away. But to your point of view.
I am sure it would be cool for people to find their "significant other in this forum".
People in society we live in e generally fels you follow the basic formula to living life and that is
1.school
2.marry
3.kids
But I am accepting that it is not the case for me and poeple put presure on you guys and others to marry or to get a wife/husband.
What is important for me is to find someone that likes me and I am willing to learn and grow/improve myself wiht that person .

 

[Reholla]

Ive always invisioned myself married, with 3-5 kids (depending on how bad labor hurts! haha)...but basically ive always had this invisioned my whole life, including finding "Prince charming" now my my SA has gotten the way it has, of course I am discouraged. I havent dated, and I hardly let myself like anyone just cause I know it will lead to me liking them and not being able to do anything about it.

But I dont lose hope on this, because I know I first need to be happy with myself before I can be happy WITH some one else.

People a lot of times think that if they find that special some one all their problems will disappear because everything that they lack in themselves, the other person will compensate and make up for what you lack. NOT TRUE..it only makes it worse

The thing is, that you have to have peace within yourself above all else!

 

[sutiono]

People a lot of times think that if they find that special some one all their problems will disappear because everything that they lack in themselves, the other person will compensate and make up for what you lack. NOT TRUE..it only makes it worse

The thing is, that you have to have peace within yourself above all else!

That is so true. I read from a magazine that said almost 50 percent of marriages end in divorce because people expected too much out of their partners and were disappointed when they can not meet the expectations.

Personally, I think I will get married someday. It is kind of hard to see it coming right now because I never dated nor had any relationship with the opposite sex, but somehow I am pretty sure that I will get a gf eventually.

 

[GIOLANDA]

But the problem isn't only marriage ,it's relationships in general. I'm 21 and I've never had a boyfriend and no kind of romantic experiences. I also see my friends having boyfriends,being engaged,being married and I feel so hopeless and depressed. I need a man,I feel it,but I can't. I reject everybody interested. I don't want to,but it always happens due to my introvert personality. I wouldn't like to have many relationships,I want sb to rely on,but I think that I'll never manage to get married. By the way,I always imagine how it is to have sb. My imagination is huge,so anything that doesn't happen in reality,it happens there. :wink: That's my defence.

 

[outside_looking_in]

You can feel very alone inside a marriage as well ...
(14 years in 10 days' time ... not all bad though)

 

[Septor]

Marriage it not the end all.Just find that special some one.

 

[heyGreg]

I need a man,I feel it,but I can't. I reject everybody interested. I don't want to,but it always happens due to my introvert personality.

Do you reject them because you don't allow yourself to get closer to them...or because you are too picky? I'm kind of the same way, rejecting the people interested, but it is because I have such high expectations .... I guess I'm shallow. I will only date a girl if I have a major crush on her, otherwise I'm not into it. And it just so happens that I can never get the one I want.

 

[Waybuloo]

I need a man,I feel it,but I can't. I reject everybody interested. I don't want to,but it always happens due to my introvert personality.

Do you reject them because you don't allow yourself to get closer to them...or because you are too picky? I'm kind of the same way, rejecting the people interested, but it is because I have such high expectations .... I guess I'm shallow. I will only date a girl if I have a major crush on her, otherwise I'm not into it. And it just so happens that I can never get the one I want.

I think it's normal to reject people u have no feelings for. My friend did the same. But if u become desperate enuf someday u might change ur mind.