terresap
Active member
Hi everyone,
I made myself come back to this site. I havent been here for ages.
Last time I was prepared to get help and go to counciling,etc.
Well I havent done anything, im so pathetic. I read the posts I made 5 months ago and I sound like I have some shread of confidence which I dont have anymore and I dont know why or how it happened but I just have zero confidence in myself.
I have been avoiding any social situation, I avoid going to uni lectures and seeing people I know. I pretty much hate going outside even to check the mail box. I refuse to go anywhere that is not necessary, I will only go to the shop if I really have to and when I do go I make sure I stock up so I dont have to go back. Sometimes I dont go outside for more than 2 weeks.
I have a stupid job where I work one day a week, I am so relieved if I have a day off because it means I dont have to go anywhere or interact with people for about 2 weeks. When I do go to work I feel sick days before and on the day I have to go I feel like throwing up and have diarrhea. When at work I have to deal with the public and I feel so akward and stupid and feel them staring at me and its like I know they would be thinking im an idiot. My boss tells me to be more talkative to people but its killing me trying to speak one word to them, I would quit if I had the guts to say it.
After work or going to any place that involves being near people I cant stop thinking about what a fool I was, in my head I go over and over how stupid I acted or the silly things that I said that didnt make sense.
My husband doesnt understand anymore, he used to be fine with having a night in and watching a video, but how long can someone stay in for? I feel bad for him, I try to go places with him but mostly chicken out at the last minute. Like I said im pathetic.
I want to be a hermit and live in a cave.
I really came back to the site to find someone else who feels like this and to get some advice. Its gonna be hard but im not going to delete this post, I feel like a fool for writting it though.
Thanks for reading, sorry its a long post
I made myself come back to this site. I havent been here for ages.
Last time I was prepared to get help and go to counciling,etc.
Well I havent done anything, im so pathetic. I read the posts I made 5 months ago and I sound like I have some shread of confidence which I dont have anymore and I dont know why or how it happened but I just have zero confidence in myself.
I have been avoiding any social situation, I avoid going to uni lectures and seeing people I know. I pretty much hate going outside even to check the mail box. I refuse to go anywhere that is not necessary, I will only go to the shop if I really have to and when I do go I make sure I stock up so I dont have to go back. Sometimes I dont go outside for more than 2 weeks.
I have a stupid job where I work one day a week, I am so relieved if I have a day off because it means I dont have to go anywhere or interact with people for about 2 weeks. When I do go to work I feel sick days before and on the day I have to go I feel like throwing up and have diarrhea. When at work I have to deal with the public and I feel so akward and stupid and feel them staring at me and its like I know they would be thinking im an idiot. My boss tells me to be more talkative to people but its killing me trying to speak one word to them, I would quit if I had the guts to say it.
After work or going to any place that involves being near people I cant stop thinking about what a fool I was, in my head I go over and over how stupid I acted or the silly things that I said that didnt make sense.
My husband doesnt understand anymore, he used to be fine with having a night in and watching a video, but how long can someone stay in for? I feel bad for him, I try to go places with him but mostly chicken out at the last minute. Like I said im pathetic.
I want to be a hermit and live in a cave.
I really came back to the site to find someone else who feels like this and to get some advice. Its gonna be hard but im not going to delete this post, I feel like a fool for writting it though.
Thanks for reading, sorry its a long post