I have major conversational weaknesses involving thinking and speaking about only myself, and nothing, nobody else. You might notice this from my posts.
I'm told this by a lot of people
However aware I am, I think it's a in-built mechanism I just can't get rid of. My current psychologist describes me as 'going off topic' negative rather than positive, and everyone always says I go off on a tangent. It's about me and my history and experiences. I think: maybe selfish? Very bad in interview. I never answer the basic questions I'm asked. Example: 'how are you?' That is horrific! I get more detail in a dog's bark or a cat who rubs its face against my hands. The standard initial interview question is always 'how was your journey?' My head spins off on 'yeah! no worries - I've been around here by car or train and have been a bit lost before but I've learnt it all now. I love it'. I get a look from the questioner which immediately shows a quizzical response meaning 'he's a weirdo!!!' and they'd wish they hadn't invited me. Nobody wants to listen to me. But if someone answered the journey question as 'OK', I'd judge them as faarr tooo simple to ever consider worthy of conversation.
I sometimes try to pucker-up and say little, to please people. I think it's fair to expand on any topic and offer my input. Hmmm. Board meetings. If I take all this advice and treat every question by smile and nod as a YES, or smile and shake head as NO. Or a flourish of my hand gestures, accompanied with 'ahh, OK' What that means to me is a person who is not interested, bored, doesn't care. Every conversation leads me to say 'too much' and not to 'stick to the point'
I have been reading articles and whitepapers on improving communication skills (published by The Times) which are too thin. Material I knew at the age of 5. I like people with a lot more depth - articulate. I abhor having to deal with simpletons who control my life
If I was ever in a retail job, which I don't predict, I wouldn't be a person who just looks at you and smiles broadly, saying 'Eeee!! put your card in and PIN code' I might say 'I've worn these shirts & trousers a lot. They're a good bet'
I've learned or been told to maintain eye contact all the time. That's never difficult for me - looking straight at, or sideways, toward numerous people around the meeting, dividing stare time equally. I listen. When people waffle or make strange noises I can't interpret, I sometimes ignore or come up with a different sentence to replace what they said, or ask them to rephrase
Ahhh.. maybe years ago, I DID lack a lot of eye contact! Supermarket. Focussing down at my goods on the conveyer belt to pack, not looking at the checkout person, feeling a bit embarrassed. Just wanting to get it done and get out of there. Maybe unfriendly. Now I do look at 'em and remember 'em, and say something humorous to make 'em smile
. I know this sounds confusing because I don't have alot of time to organize my thoughts right now, but that helped me out alot & it really makes those situations alot less awkward. I hope that helps.
