But I wonder, all of you who say life is pointless, just shit etc., isn´t it strange to you how intelligently is everything on here created? The earth, nature, human and animal bodies etc. etc. Or the basic facts like that people speak, that we need water to wash, fire to prepare food, the way people grow and age, the universe..
Or the fact that polar animals are white, other animals have often the color of fur according to the environment they live in.. And plenty of other things, in fact everything is kind of miracle and very intelligently done. Can this be just a pointless coincidence? Or was this created by somebody evil to trap us here and torture? (That´s what I believed when I was like 16-18 ).
I don´t know for sure what the truth is now, I only feel that the best thing people can do is to exert themselves, swim against the current of life and forces that are dragging us down - these forces are kind of inborn in us (it is a curse), and we have to overcome them. We have to fight against ourselves, our laziness, desires, primitive instincts etc. Sometimes seems to me that I would do best if I did everything quite opposite to what I feel like doing.. thats how it is here.
To take some pills and fall asleep.. that would be ridiculously easy to escape our duties here. Do you think the creator was so stupid to let us oversmart him like this?
Anyway I understand when somebody does it because I often feel like doing that too. I theoretically know like it should be, but am afraid I am rather becoming worse off than better and am afraid I´m drowning and don´t have the strength and desire and motivation to get out of it.