I want friends, but I'm not helping myself.

[W1CKEDJO]

..........

 

[Barnum]

So I've got a few friends that are really great to go out and hang around with... but sometimes they want to stay at my house, or want me to stay at their houses, and I can't bare it.

When they stay at mine, I can't wait for them to leave the next day and get back to normal. And if I stay over at their houses, half the time I cancel last minute, or arrange to leave really early in the morning. I just love my home, and can't bare to be away from it for too long. A few years ago I would have given anything to stay AWAY from home.

I think people are starting to think I'm avoiding them, because when they try and arrange a meet-up, I say I'm doing something else. I'm not sure if it's because I simply can't be bothered, or if it's some sub-concious thing that I'm not aware of.

I can relate to feeling uneasy about having friends staying at your house. It might help to keep in mind that most people feel more uneasy at other people's place than in their own home, so you could easily be the most confident person in the room even if you don't think so.

It's important that you don't worry about your friends thinking you're avoiding them. If they were really worried, they would probably talk to you about it. Real friends do that.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

what a coincidence... i thought i'm the only person who feels that way... I'm not the sociable type of person but I also have friends who sometimes asks me to go out or just hang around with. I mean i appreciate all those things but I don't really like them hanging in my house because it gives me a "not- so- big- deal-but-still-makes-me-uncomfortable" kind of worries like... "what should we eat?.. and.. what if I already feel tired/ I wanna be alone now and they still want to stay?"....
and when they asks me to go out or invite me to a party, I am usually undecided because I don't want to keep a promise that i would join them if I know that it'll possibly be broken depending on my mood on that particular day... the bad thing is, I usually reject their invitation. I like their company but most of the time I just feel like staying in our house to relax.. so they misinterpret me that I'm avoiding them but I do not!

Maybe I'm just plain lazy or I just really love the comfort of my home.. I don't know... but the least thing that I could do is just to keep in touch with them through communication... ( I personally prefer through the net because I have low tolerance of telephone conversation! ehehe!)

 

[Ahmed]

Yes, i can realte. but we really need to try to get out of our mood. whats making me not go out alot also is my stomach problems. So, i get lazy and stay at home...

 

[Don1985]

I used to never be at home. I would come home from work, go straight out and come back really late at night, my family barely saw me! I started avoiding going out with my friends when they wanted to go to pubs etc, and the more I avoided them, the less they rang me...now i do not see any of them anymore... We were a strong group of friends, around 8 of us who were always with eachother like brothers! It's sad that i've stopped seeing them completely...

I do see an old friend most days (well nights) now, but it is mostly because we just spend most the time outside, and never go to pubs or anything, and I can just about handle that in the dark evenings...dreading summer though when it's light until late. :x