I should probally put this on a new topic but, oh well. I feel the need to share this with you all.
After more studying I have bourn an understanding on suicide/death. According to the bible those that die have their memory and life force/spirit put at rest, no conscious no nothing just so, our bodies return to dust, god remembers us ect.
This knowledge works in harmony in how people feel about suicide, its a escape, for rest, for change, for relief. Almost as if our own bodies know of the hell described in the bible. Again, while we could think logically there will be nothing after death even our very feelings betray this by the warmth of relief.
But to cease to exist permanently? Think deeply over it, it is no rest, it is the opposite of life, nothing, absoloute nothing not even darkness, no promises. You will be forgotten for all time and removed from the pages of history, a void, no friends, no love no thought. A single grain of sand holds more life and hope than we would should we truly 'die'.
I have harboured suicidal thoughts many times and long for rest, but thinking apon the obvious element that even our body knows is not the way brings depair in a huge amount! The sheer horror when this is realised brings everything to light.
We may want to rest, yes, to be relieved of pain and misery yes. But never to cease, never to end, never to be as nothing, even our very essence knows this and it is something that takes only a short amount of deep thinking to realise. It's subtle.
Never never wish true death, for true, everlasting death is a barely imaginable horror that in reality is something not usually thought about...