takethislife
Well-known member
*warning rant*
I saw people on here writing 'I missed things', 'i missed my teen years' but i never really understanded that because I didn't know what I was missing.
In the last month or so i happened to have experienced a tiny bit of (social) life and even that tiny bit made me realise that i never have... LIVED! I haven't experienced almost ANYTHING that an average person my age have. Now, at the end of high school, I see I haven't accomplished anything that actually matters, even at school i pretty much sucked because I couldn't focus on anything. I spent four years in my head.
I've realized that the most important things in life are relationships with people. I told you i've experienced just a little, but there's nothing like the feeling when you're even looking or talking to a girl. I have experienced something which includes girls (i'm not gonna tell what (but it doesn't even involve kissing or sth) i'm to scared of being recognised, yeah go ahead facepalm) i was kinda made to do it but after that - i can't describe to you how i felt, before that i didn't believe i could feel something like that. My anxiety was gone! For days after that I could look people in the eyes on the street or in the bus, i was so confident, after a long time I felt worthy.
I've realized that's purpose of life - finding someone (or people) to spend your life with. There's just nothing like it.
But I've realized another thing - this is no life! Every single second being scared of looking at others, every single second thinking what others might be thinking of you, every single second in school being scared if you're gonna be asked something, and so on... many of you unfortunately know it better than i do.
And what about the future? Now after this experiences I see why people say 'there are the best, the most carefree years of your life'. Well, mine wasn't actually all that great. If these are my best years, i'm not sure i want to see how my not-the-best years are gonna look like.
I don't think anything will change. I think I haven't changed much in the past four years. The way i see it, the only thing i learned is that you must talk to people even if you don't feel like it, or people will pick on you. That's pretty much it.
Do you feel this way? Or have you accepted your life the way it is?
Thx if anyone cared enough to read this.
I saw people on here writing 'I missed things', 'i missed my teen years' but i never really understanded that because I didn't know what I was missing.
In the last month or so i happened to have experienced a tiny bit of (social) life and even that tiny bit made me realise that i never have... LIVED! I haven't experienced almost ANYTHING that an average person my age have. Now, at the end of high school, I see I haven't accomplished anything that actually matters, even at school i pretty much sucked because I couldn't focus on anything. I spent four years in my head.
I've realized that the most important things in life are relationships with people. I told you i've experienced just a little, but there's nothing like the feeling when you're even looking or talking to a girl. I have experienced something which includes girls (i'm not gonna tell what (but it doesn't even involve kissing or sth) i'm to scared of being recognised, yeah go ahead facepalm) i was kinda made to do it but after that - i can't describe to you how i felt, before that i didn't believe i could feel something like that. My anxiety was gone! For days after that I could look people in the eyes on the street or in the bus, i was so confident, after a long time I felt worthy.
I've realized that's purpose of life - finding someone (or people) to spend your life with. There's just nothing like it.
But I've realized another thing - this is no life! Every single second being scared of looking at others, every single second thinking what others might be thinking of you, every single second in school being scared if you're gonna be asked something, and so on... many of you unfortunately know it better than i do.
And what about the future? Now after this experiences I see why people say 'there are the best, the most carefree years of your life'. Well, mine wasn't actually all that great. If these are my best years, i'm not sure i want to see how my not-the-best years are gonna look like.
I don't think anything will change. I think I haven't changed much in the past four years. The way i see it, the only thing i learned is that you must talk to people even if you don't feel like it, or people will pick on you. That's pretty much it.
Do you feel this way? Or have you accepted your life the way it is?
Thx if anyone cared enough to read this.
