dannyboy65
Well-known member
I feel the desire worse and worse day by day. I lose who I am, I don't know who I am. Everyone I've gotten to know, the friends, everyone. I feel like pushing them away, I feel like I will end up hurting them in the end. My best friend is the closest person I have in my life, yet I want him to leave so I won't hurt him in the end. He deserves a better friend, one that isn't so selfish.
The more I think of it, death doesn't scare me as much as it used to. I say I want help and I say I'll get help, but I don't think I will get it as much as I want it. I don't want to go back to that damn hospital, I'd rather die. I have a higher dose of medicine now, but I don't know how it will work.
I really want to tell my life coach but I feel like I can't because I will end up back in that damn hospital. I know he doesn't want me there but it's his job to send me there. I didn't tell my doctor about it just for this reason. I'm pathetic, I have so many people that care and I'm to scared to get the help I need.
I'm sorry for wasting your time if you read this.
The more I think of it, death doesn't scare me as much as it used to. I say I want help and I say I'll get help, but I don't think I will get it as much as I want it. I don't want to go back to that damn hospital, I'd rather die. I have a higher dose of medicine now, but I don't know how it will work.
I really want to tell my life coach but I feel like I can't because I will end up back in that damn hospital. I know he doesn't want me there but it's his job to send me there. I didn't tell my doctor about it just for this reason. I'm pathetic, I have so many people that care and I'm to scared to get the help I need.
I'm sorry for wasting your time if you read this.