how to turn aqquaintances to friends?

[recluse]

in my new job in a supermarket so far my colleagues seem like really nice people. In particular i'm looking at making friends with women to gain experience of talking to them. They seem to like me and i talk to them a lot, but all the ''friends'' ive ever had are work colleagues who i only see in work. Im going to stop thinking of wpomen as potential relationships which is a trap ive fallen into many times, and just focus on being friends witht them but i dont know how.

 

[coyote]

to take it out of the workplace - find out what activities they are interested in and suggest meeting up with them somewhere

then just continue what you've been doing - talking and being friendly, and share in whatever activities you're both doing

(i have a hard time with this, too, but have been getting better the more i try it)

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

..............................

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

................................ ooops, sorry. no further comment. don't ask.

 

[recluse]

to take it out of the workplace - find out what activities they are interested in and suggest meeting up with them somewhere

then just continue what you've been doing - talking and being friendly, and share in whatever activities you're both doing

(i have a hard time with this, too, but have been getting better the more i try it)

it's so hard though. I always think i am being a nusiance asking people to hang out out of work. i'm also afraid that the girls will think i'm a creep and only want to hang out with them to get laid.

 

[twiggle]

Im going to stop thinking of wpomen as potential relationships which is a trap ive fallen into many times, and just focus on being friends witht them but i dont know how.

This is a mistake people often make, it's quite an easy one too. Nothings worse than a platonic friendship being shattered by a "I like you as more than just a friend" revelation. Sometimes, though - that feeling just develops without us intending it too.

But trying to be their friend foremost, is a good idea. I like coyote's suggestion of finding out what they're into. But what about casually slipping in a suggestion towards the end of a shift... "Anyone fancy going for a coffee when we're finished?" It keeps things open - you're inviting anyone, not just girls (so they won't jump to conclusions) and that might make it easier for you to suggest it. Being around each other in a setting outside the workplace may help to bring peoples' guards down and you can get to know each other on a level besides work.

Glad that you're enjoying the new job so far