How often do you actually cry?

[Zaki]

I'm always sad, yet I can't bring myself to cry most of the time. With depression has come a general numbness. Emptiness fills me. It's like the sadness has become a part of who I am. I hate it, yet I'm comfortable with it because it has been so close to me for so long. Sometimes tears fall when I ruminate on things like my failures, insecurities, general ineptitude at life, etc. Even then...not much.

 

[anomicdeer]

I cry a lot when things get bad. But lately I've been feeling empty which is a new thing for me. I'm actually losing my feelings. Or at least I don't see happiness or positivity anymore. I notice every time I smile and feel paranoid because I rarely do. I do hate being lonely and not having any friends but on my "good" days I'm just empty.

 

[ff5fan19]

i usually cry whenever I feel depressed but I haven't really been feeling depressed lately so that's a good thing.

 

[Argentum]

Not all depression comes with crying. It's a lot more complex than it seems at first.

At worst, I cry a couple times a week. Once or twice I've had to struggle to hold it in during class this semester. It comes with hopelessness and the inability to escape the black hole that is my existence.

I work my *** off with exposure and new ideas, gain little to no traction, and generally come online to see implications that I don't do anything to change my situation, am just a terrible person, or yet more barriers to my ideas. That or happy people with everything I want who have even worse depression, anxiety, or personalities than I do, making me feel like there must be something uniquely ugly about me (on the inside) that I can't see but everyone else can.

Sometimes I just see people who are so amazingly successful and loved by others and feel alone, even though I don't hold it against them because I know they're legitimately good people from my own experience. It just highlights my own situation. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be some of the people out there.

 

[Earthcircle]

I have to admit that I am not certain what the word "depression" means exactly. I used to think, as I think most people assume, that depression is sadness. But then, back in 1987, someone told me that they are not the same. Ever since then, I have hesitated to use the word "depression." I am sad quite a lot. It is my normal state. And, yes, I do cry. So maybe my crying means that I am not depressed? I wonder.

 

[Argentum]

I have to admit that I am not certain what the word "depression" means exactly. I used to think, as I think most people assume, that depression is sadness. But then, back in 1987, someone told me that they are not the same. Ever since then, I have hesitated to use the word "depression." I am sad quite a lot. It is my normal state. And, yes, I do cry. So maybe my crying means that I am not depressed? I wonder.

You're right that it's more than sadness, but sadness and depression can be in the same person.

I associate depression most strongly with the times where I could laugh on the outside and not be faking it, per say, but feel nothing on the inside but a void and an ache that seemed to permeate my entire being. Like an old, healed would that had hardened so that the skin wouldn't stretch or move properly, only on the inside. I still remember the first time I could remember not feeling it for a few days at a time.

 

[Earthcircle]

I work my *** off with exposure and new ideas, gain little to no traction, and generally come online to see implications that I don't do anything to change my situation, am just a terrible person, or yet more barriers to my ideas. That or happy people with everything I want who have even worse depression, anxiety, or personalities than I do, making me feel like there must be something uniquely ugly about me (on the inside) that I can't see but everyone else can.

I have been trying some method or other of self-improvement since I was 15. Now I am 50. The only thing that worked reasonably well was Edna Foa's book Stop Obsessing, but that is for OCD, not social phobia. When it comes to other things, such as avoidant personality and whatever else it is I have, I am not aware of any progress whatsoever. In fact, I bumped into someone recently whom I had known in college, and he indicated -- to his own great surprise -- that I seem to be a lot worse! I was informed in therapy that I want therapy to fail because I unconsciously identify therapists with my father. But this still doesn't explain the very modest success (if any) of all the things I have tried by myself -- a stack of self-help books, self-hypnosis, meditation, St John's wort, etc.

 

[Earthcircle]

You're right that it's more than sadness, but sadness and depression can be in the same person.

I associate depression most strongly with the times where I could laugh on the outside and not be faking it, per say, but feel nothing on the inside but a void and an ache that seemed to permeate my entire being. Like an old, healed would that had hardened so that the skin wouldn't stretch or move properly, only on the inside. I still remember the first time I could remember not feeling it for a few days at a time.

Now I am wondering what the difference is between depression and derealization. I think I know what the latter is, because I have felt it. That is a feeling of everything being empty, like the universe doesn't even exist. But I think depression is something else.

 

[Emhyr]

I wish I can just start crying already. I did in the past, but not so much these days. Just like you, I feel empty... but I wish there was at least that "crying part" to get it out of my system.

 

[theslowesthand]

Now I am wondering what the difference is between depression and derealization. I think I know what the latter is, because I have felt it. That is a feeling of everything being empty, like the universe doesn't even exist. But I think depression is something else.

When i've had (major/acute, or MDD) depression, it seemed to have an a strong element of "unreality" to it, like derealization??. I felt the most alone ever in those times - total complete absolute isolation/loneliness. Nothing was "familiar", not even "i" existed; absolutely everything was all new & foreign. It's like being born again as a baby, & thrown into the world all alone with zero support structure (mother, family, comforts, etc)

 

[theslowesthand]

I wish I can just start crying already. I did in the past, but not so much these days. Just like you, I feel empty... but I wish there was at least that "crying part" to get it out of my system.

How about having a few beers, and watch a nice film or so on tv? That combo often works for me (it tends to allow "stuff" to rise to the surface, & makes me a little emotional/sad in a good way :thumbup

 

[wise_wind]

I cry quite often too. Its mostly when I get reminded of my loneliness.

 

[Emhyr]

How about having a few beers, and watch a nice film or so on tv? That combo often works for me (it tends to allow "stuff" to rise to the surface, & makes me a little emotional/sad in a good way :thumbup

Meh... I don't drink alcohol... if I did, I'd drink it to feel happy.

 

[theslowesthand]

Meh... I don't drink alcohol... if I did, I'd drink it to feel happy.

I'm not condoning drinking alcohol, but for me it's the only way to really "shift" my mindset enough, so that i can experience joy, true relaxation, maybe get a bit "teary-eyed", experience some subtle things/feelings, gain the most from watching tv, ..
Even just one can is enough to shut-down my conscious thoughts, allowing me to feel at peace, for a short while anyway.
To me, that is "hapiness" (or "bliss" - 'driiiiiink yourself some blisssss') :thumbup:

 

[Emhyr]

Buahhah.. that's the spirit. Gonna start drinking one day for sure.

 

[Tornsoulnz]

I feel like crying all the time but never can.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

Oh, how I wish I could cry. I'm in my 30's now and I just can't cry, but when I was in middle school and high school, I couldn't stop myself from crying almost every night. What gives? This may be off topic or it might be the way the pain is redirected for me, but do any of you feel really angry at faults you find in others or at even the tiniest of perceived slights.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I won't cry for like 8 or so months and then cry a lot if someone says "the wrong thing to me." I'm careful not to cry in public anymore. I just go to the bathroom and go there or the car. I think watching a sad movie might help?

 

[Kiwong]

I often cry out of despair, but sometimes I cry when I recall the battles I have faced and won, the times I won through and found happiness.

 

[Earthcircle]

When i've had (major/acute, or MDD) depression, it seemed to have an a strong element of "unreality" to it, like derealization??. I felt the most alone ever in those times - total complete absolute isolation/loneliness. Nothing was "familiar", not even "i" existed; absolutely everything was all new & foreign. It's like being born again as a baby, & thrown into the world all alone with zero support structure (mother, family, comforts, etc)

This reminds me of a passage in the play Woyzeck:

Once upon a time there was a poor child with no
father and no mother, everything was dead, and no one was left
in the whole world. Everything was dead, and it went and searched
day and night. And since nobody was left on the earth, it wanted
to go up to the heavens, and the moon was looking at it so friendly,
and when it finally got to the moon, the moon was a piece of
rotten wood and then it went to the sun and when it got there, the
sun was a wilted sunflower and when it got to the stars, they were
little golden flies stuck up there like the shrike sticks 'em on the
blackthorn and when it wanted to go back down to the earth, the
earth was an overturned pot and was all alone and it sat down and
cried and there it sits to this day, all alone.