How do you explain to someone you have S.A?

[Flyingheart]

I want to tell my friend whom I've known for nearly 10 yrs that I have S.A and depression. But I'm scared to death she won't understand or will stop being friends with me. I don't want her viewing me differently either though I know that's impossible. Considering I've kept quiet about it for 4 years, I wouldn't be shocked if she felt betrayed or annoyed for me not telling her either.
I'm so afraid she'll think I'm strange or 'retarded'.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

I've been married for nine years next month. I have still not built up the courage to tell my wife. She knows about my past in all it's gory detail but does not know how it affects me because I hide it from her to protect her. However I am close to the point of no return. my therapist has encouraged me to take the final step and bare all. After my last session I began to think more sensibly about it. Your friend like my wife will most likely understand especially after 10 years. It would be a very rare thing for someone who cares about you and who has done for so long to give up a friendship like that. She will most likely give you a great big hug and hold on till you calm down after a stressful situation.

 

[tjames]

That's exactly what good friends are for... to share our deepest life experiences with. If she's your good friend, she will not only be okay with it, she'll like you more for opening up with her.

 

[Flyingheart]

I actually told her today and you were both right. She did understand and wanted to help. Thank you for helping me find the courage to tell her. It feels like such a relief

 

[A86]

Thats awesome to hear

 

[MoniqueNS]

Basically my blog was like my coming out story. I can write much with much more ease than I can communicate in person so it was the best way for me to explain what was going on.

 

[upndwn]

I used to keep it all to myself, I was terrified that someone would find out that I was suffering from SA. Now I have no problems talking about it, although 90% of the people I tell doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about, and they think SA is just a minor inconvenience like stress, which will pass by itself in time. Some people don't even think it's a real disorder, just an excuse to avoid people. I don't care what people think anymore though.

 

[Flyingheart]

thanks again for the posts everyone

hey upndwn, the first time you came out about your SA, did you still find it hard to open up fully and talk about it at first? Or did you find it no problem to talk about it straightaway? only i've been keeping it to myself for quite a long while, 4-5yrs now so it feels really weird talking about it to another person, and I am still kinda scared of being judged but not as much.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

The few close friends I have know about it and it doesn't bother them at all. They treat me like they would treat anyone else. Sure they make it easier for me to talk to them and always avoid initiating any "awkward silences" but for the most part they treat me normally and don't see me as being "strange" or "retarded" because of it. There shouldn't be any reason for you to be treated that way in the first place, let alone by a friend. Just because the word "disorder" is included doesn't mean you're mentally impaired or anything.

If she is truly your friend then she will understand and treat you like a normal human being, maybe even try to help you out. It never hurts to try right?

 

[Flyingheart]

Thank you for the advice Malice, it worked out fine it really is good to have friends who understand.

 

[maiato]

If she's really good friend of you, she will understand it. Although u ve to ask yourself the really reason u want to do this. Do you think things will go better after? Or u just want to feel somehow good to tell to someone! I think the best way is just going into baby steps...tell her step by step, from easy things...to the harder, on your point of view! Good luck : )

 

[upndwn]

thanks again for the posts everyone

hey upndwn, the first time you came out about your SA, did you still find it hard to open up fully and talk about it at first? Or did you find it no problem to talk about it straightaway? only i've been keeping it to myself for quite a long while, 4-5yrs now so it feels really weird talking about it to another person, and I am still kinda scared of being judged but not as much.

Honestly I can't remember the first time I told someone. It was probably in session with my therapist so it wasn't as awkward then.

 

[Phoenixx]

I want to tell my friend whom I've known for nearly 10 yrs that I have S.A and depression. But I'm scared to death she won't understand or will stop being friends with me. I don't want her viewing me differently either though I know that's impossible. Considering I've kept quiet about it for 4 years, I wouldn't be shocked if she felt betrayed or annoyed for me not telling her either.
I'm so afraid she'll think I'm strange or 'retarded'.

^ I have a best friend of 11 yrs., but I've never gotten the courage to tell her about my SA or depression. It's not that I don't trust her, because I trust her with my life. I'm just afraid, like you said, she wouldn't understand, or she'll think differently of me. Sadly, she actually has a busy life (and a social one at that), so I don't get to talk to her often.

However, I have told my best guy friend (of about 5-6 yrs.) about my SA (didn't go into detail about the depression). I can't say he fully understood, and that happens, but I'm just glad he doesn't think differently of me, and he's always there for me when I need it.

I actually told her today and you were both right. She did understand and wanted to help. Thank you for helping me find the courage to tell her. It feels like such a relief

^ Glad to hear things worked out! This actually gives me hope. I'd love to tell my friend too, given the chance and the right time.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

I sort of told a friend about 3 years, just explained why I often cancelled plans, because I suddenly got too scared to go out. Didn't really get any kind of response positive or negative, just accepted it.

 

[Flyingheart]

Glad to hear things worked out! This actually gives me hope. I'd love to tell my friend too, given the chance and the right time.

I really do encourage you to take the chance, the fact that you are thinking of telling your friend tells that you are pretty comfortable with her right? And as everyone else said, if they are a true friend they will stick by you and support you. It sounds cheesy but is true I hope you get that chance soon.

I felt a lot better after telling my friend. I didn't think I'd have the courage to and actually lost sleep over my nervousness. But I needn't have worried. I feel like a weight is off my chest and I feel a lot more closer to her than ever before.

 

[doesit]

its a good topic,but most people who are confident enough in they everyday life wont understand this,i only had enough guts to tell my therapist that i suffer with SA and she understood it and it did feel good,also tried to explain it to my family as well,and they didn't have a clue what im talking about,in other words they think its stress or whatever and will pass the hardest thing for people is to categorize SA,as of still we live in an age where someone with mental problems is still put into category of retards,psychos,schizophrenics and types of person who cannot function properly in society and would be seen as different by most uneducated people.Also i respect all those who seem to have ability to tell anyone they meet about their condition or feelings as its takes a lot of confidence to do so

 

[Kiwong]

I also let people know through my blog, and for running a fun run for the Beyond Blue depression initiative charity.

 

[HeadFace]

I'm so afraid she'll think I'm strange or 'retarded'.

This is exactly my fear. I don't really know how to explain it to someone either. I mean... Just look at how some people view autistic people. Some people think that they're just freaks and rejects and little kids. I'm not autistic, but I've found that autistic people seem to go all the way with whatever they're interested in.
Back on topic. I've tried telling a friend that I had social anxiety and I don't think she got it (though.. Can you blame them? It's not like they teach this stuff in school)
How should I word it?
How did you word it?