Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, and I cleared up the drama regarding my oldest sister talking about me behind my back. Turned out to be a misunderstanding.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
lily
Well-known member
Either it's something that you have to learn how to not let bother you, that could be the answer or that God helps you. You can try to pray to God to help you and to come into your life. Father's Day will be a family outing and there's nothing planned yet. lol.. you've already got so many. I personally wouldn't get a tattoo to be done onto my skin just bc it looks cool or for anything. I don't believe we're supposed to be doing that bc of that reason. God has given me wisdom in things (no offence though
). Good luck touching up on your tattoos.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, I just got some bad news...
My uncle and cousin won't be up to visit next month. My cousin has hurt his back and needs surgery.
So, they might not be back to visit my mum and I until August.
My uncle and cousin won't be up to visit next month. My cousin has hurt his back and needs surgery.
So, they might not be back to visit my mum and I until August.
lily
Well-known member
So sorry to hear that Graeme! I wish your cousin a speedy recovery in the surgery he has to do.Well, I just got some bad news...
My uncle and cousin won't be up to visit next month. My cousin has hurt his back and needs surgery.
So, they might not be back to visit my mum and I until August.
I hope things will go well for you in August.
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MollyBeGood
Well-known member
All the news is such garbage. I just LOL at it. All of its designed to make us sad or fearful. FU social media and all news media!
take your hot garbage and suck it
that is all.
take your hot garbage and suck it
that is all.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Honestly... I haven't been doing that great these past couple of months or so.
Fed up with constantly having to endure family drama - being told stuff that isn't even directed at me. My mum has vented to me the words that my older siblings should be hearing. But, no, they can't handle being told the truth about how our mum feels when they treated her the way they do. So I get it all, which hasn't exactly done wonders for my mental health of late, as far as feeling depressed and anxious most o' the time.
It's getting more n' more difficult to put up a front and pretend everything's fine.
Weirdly enough, my mum seems to be the only one between the 3 of them that I feel I can trust. And that's sayin' something, considering how bad our relationship used to be.
Creatively, I'm feeling burnt out and unmotivated as far as my music goes. Sorry if reading this is more than a bit of a downer, the last few months have been crap for me.
Fed up with constantly having to endure family drama - being told stuff that isn't even directed at me. My mum has vented to me the words that my older siblings should be hearing. But, no, they can't handle being told the truth about how our mum feels when they treated her the way they do. So I get it all, which hasn't exactly done wonders for my mental health of late, as far as feeling depressed and anxious most o' the time.
It's getting more n' more difficult to put up a front and pretend everything's fine. Weirdly enough, my mum seems to be the only one between the 3 of them that I feel I can trust. And that's sayin' something, considering how bad our relationship used to be.
Creatively, I'm feeling burnt out and unmotivated as far as my music goes. Sorry if reading this is more than a bit of a downer, the last few months have been crap for me.
lily
Well-known member
I feel for you!Honestly... I haven't been doing that great these past couple of months or so.
Fed up with constantly having to endure family drama - being told stuff that isn't even directed at me. My mum has vented to me the words that my older siblings should be hearing. But, no, they can't handle being told the truth about how our mum feels when they treated her the way they do. So I get it all, which hasn't exactly done wonders for my mental health of late, as far as feeling depressed and anxious most o' the time.
Weirdly enough, my mum seems to be the only one between the 3 of them that I feel I can trust. And that's sayin' something, considering how bad our relationship used to be.
Creatively, I'm feeling burnt out and unmotivated as far as my music goes. Sorry if reading this is more than a bit of a downer, the last few months have been crap for me.
If you'd like, you can PM me. You stopped PM'ing me and I don't know why but you don't have to explain yourself if you don't wish to. It seems like only God can help you. I encourage you to ask Him into your life. God bless you.
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Thanks, lily
Sorry, I haven't PM'd you for a while. It's been a hectic few months that I haven't really had time to log in here.
On top of the family drama, I've been having issues with my new laptop that I've had to learn to fix myself, rather than paying a computer repair service; so that's taken up a lot of my time, recently.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I've been feeling quite burnt out, lately. 
Taking care of my mum a lot more than I used to, now; not that I have any issue with doing that.
I just realise that I've been neglecting myself as a result. I'm also feeling anxious. My cousin who lives in Wales and whom I've never met, said recently that she'd love to talk to me and to give her a call sometime. I mean, we have been messaging back and forth over Facebook in recent months. But I still feel quite anxious talking on the phone.
Taking care of my mum a lot more than I used to, now; not that I have any issue with doing that.I just realise that I've been neglecting myself as a result. I'm also feeling anxious. My cousin who lives in Wales and whom I've never met, said recently that she'd love to talk to me and to give her a call sometime. I mean, we have been messaging back and forth over Facebook in recent months. But I still feel quite anxious talking on the phone.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I don't really know what to do...
It's quite difficult when yer family is quite toxic, you're aware of this and yet I'm the one holding them together, basically. Can't say anything, either, that just causes arguments. Arguments that'll inevitably be blamed on you, cuz you dare to ask why they are the way they are.
I kind of want to escape it all really, get as far away as possible. Living in the middle of nowhere, I seem to function better on my own. Not that I don't love or care about my mum, everything just gets really stressful at times. And I know that because I've been neglecting myself a lot lately in terms of self-care.
Also, I just got word that my cousin has been rushed into his local hospital's A&E department today for last-minute back surgery. Even though he went into the same hospital months ago - after he and my uncle came up from London to visit my mum and me - and asked to be seen because his back was causing him issues. They just sent him on his way. But now that his back is to the point where he's struggling to walk, they check him out and tell him he needs surgery. Anyway, I hope he's going to be okay.
And, on a more positive note: I recently reached quite a big milestone with my music, which I really happy and chuffed about.
It's quite difficult when yer family is quite toxic, you're aware of this and yet I'm the one holding them together, basically. Can't say anything, either, that just causes arguments. Arguments that'll inevitably be blamed on you, cuz you dare to ask why they are the way they are.
I kind of want to escape it all really, get as far away as possible. Living in the middle of nowhere, I seem to function better on my own. Not that I don't love or care about my mum, everything just gets really stressful at times. And I know that because I've been neglecting myself a lot lately in terms of self-care.
Also, I just got word that my cousin has been rushed into his local hospital's A&E department today for last-minute back surgery. Even though he went into the same hospital months ago - after he and my uncle came up from London to visit my mum and me - and asked to be seen because his back was causing him issues. They just sent him on his way. But now that his back is to the point where he's struggling to walk, they check him out and tell him he needs surgery. Anyway, I hope he's going to be okay.
And, on a more positive note: I recently reached quite a big milestone with my music, which I really happy and chuffed about.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
I am feeling nervous, of course… I am going to try Zoloft again. It’s been a long time since I tried meds. I am mostly focused on curbing the anxiety issues, then I feel the low mood will lift naturally when the anxiousness is subdue. It’s The chicken or the egg syndrome with these mental health issues. Either way I am not giving up on myself no matter what I might say or do, I am worth the fight. My cats think I am anyways. 
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
How am I feeling? Glad that I finally have a stable, secure internet connection again.
My internet provider caused an issue when upgrading the lines in my area. Upgraded to fibreoptic - it only took them a decade to get it done.
My internet provider caused an issue when upgrading the lines in my area. Upgraded to fibreoptic - it only took them a decade to get it done.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
How am I feeling lately...? A bit... Meh! 
That about sums it up. Not exactly happy, but not particularly sad.
I've come to terms with the fact that the only person I can really rely upon, is my mother.
I've accepted that it's pointless asking for help. Not when it comes to mental health issues, but when it comes art and creative endeavours. Frickin' D.I.Y folks ! Even if it means watching countless YouTube tutorial videos on artwork and logo design; and on top of that yer writing, recording and mixing yer own music.
The point of this wee tangent: Don't ask family to "help". 
Cuz they think that means to offer up yet more suggestions; even after you've told them what you want the logo and artwork to look like.
A bit... Meh! That about sums it up. Not exactly happy, but not particularly sad.I've come to terms with the fact that the only person I can really rely upon, is my mother.
I've accepted that it's pointless asking for help. Not when it comes to mental health issues, but when it comes art and creative endeavours. Frickin' D.I.Y folks ! Even if it means watching countless YouTube tutorial videos on artwork and logo design; and on top of that yer writing, recording and mixing yer own music.
The point of this wee tangent: Don't ask family to "help". Cuz they think that means to offer up yet more suggestions; even after you've told them what you want the logo and artwork to look like.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Do you need a logo? I can maybe help for free if you need it?How am I feeling lately...?
I've come to terms with the fact that the only person I can really rely upon, is my mother.
I've accepted that it's pointless asking for help. Not when it comes to mental health issues, but when it comes art and creative endeavours. Frickin' D.I.Y folks ! Even if it means watching countless YouTube tutorial videos on artwork and logo design; and on top of that yer writing, recording and mixing yer own music.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Crazy day! I woke up to the hospital calling me telling me I was expected for my surgery 10 mins ago-it was 8:30 am now 8:40 and the nurse was telling me I was late. I had just rolled out of bed, deep REM sleeping and told her I could be there in 30 mins. Oh btw they told me it was scheduled for 11:00 am but moved me up last min okkkkaaayyy thanks for the warning. Threw on some clothes, brushed hair a bit, make up etc and rushed out the door to the hospital. Got there, kinda flustered obviously, and apologized for being late. Ok.. so the best part is this (besides the La La land drugs they gave me to knock me out completely) was the 20-something at the check in desk, after she checked me in, she got up and put the hospital band thing around me wrist, and she looked me right in the eye and said “I cannot believe you are as old as you are” Like, Sweet thing, she didn’t have to even say that.. ugh…Another nurse said almost the exact same thing in the OR. I think I love nurses hahaha rant over 
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yes, I do... Or possibly more than one, actually.
As my SoundCloud profile is quite varied in terms of music genres. And, that being the case, my initial thought was: Maybe having logos that correspond to each of those music genres?
I'd really definitely appreciate some help, Molly. As, truth be told, I feel as though I'm possibly on the verge of the whole "creative differences" disagreement with my oldest sibling whenever we discuss logo ideas.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Ok. Great. Shoot me a message here with some details and I will see what I can come up with. I am branching out doing tons of different stuff now, maybe I can help you. I could use a challenge anyways.Yes, I do... Or possibly more than one, actually.
As my SoundCloud profile is quite varied in terms of music genres. And, that being the case, my initial thought was: Maybe having logos that correspond to each of those music genres?
I'd really definitely appreciate some help, Molly. As, truth be told, I feel as though I'm possibly on the verge of the whole "creative differences" disagreement with my oldest sibling whenever we discuss logo ideas.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, I'm back to feeling miserable and depressed. Can't really be bothered doing much. Don't have the energy to... even though, I should take care of myself.
Funny how having to justify why you don't want to leave your own blooming house to your oldest sibling for umpteenth flicking time can send ya into spiralling depression where you question why your life has turned out the way it has.
Funny how having to justify why you don't want to leave your own blooming house to your oldest sibling for umpteenth flicking time can send ya into spiralling depression where you question why your life has turned out the way it has.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I don't know whether to give myself a wee break from making music. I've been kinda getting back into the way of things with it, lately.
But am kind of worried if ah take even a couple of months oot then ah'll lose the momentum I've got within the last month or so. Also, this last month of activity comes off the back of a 2 hiatus, where ah did nuthin' cuz other things had to be prioritised.
Or should ah just dig my heels in, focus, and just get on? And see anything getting in the way of me making music as a distraction? Well, unless, I have a ticket booked for a concert that I want to go to.
Am just wondering about this, since ah have some difficulty in saying "No" without coming across as a right grumpy arsehole. Basically whenever my sister asks if ah want to get out of the house for a moment, and ah don't want to, I always feel the need to justify my staying in. Ah shouldnae, but that's how it is. And short of me rolling my eyes and going: "Awrite... Fine!", a simple "No" doesn't seem to be enough. Failing that, I'd probably have to have my headphones on, a guitar across ma lap, and actually be recording music to make it obvious that: "Naw ! Am no gan oot the day...".
Being the youngest o' yer immediate family can really suck sometimes...
But am kind of worried if ah take even a couple of months oot then ah'll lose the momentum I've got within the last month or so. Also, this last month of activity comes off the back of a 2 hiatus, where ah did nuthin' cuz other things had to be prioritised.
Or should ah just dig my heels in, focus, and just get on? And see anything getting in the way of me making music as a distraction? Well, unless, I have a ticket booked for a concert that I want to go to.
Am just wondering about this, since ah have some difficulty in saying "No" without coming across as a right grumpy arsehole. Basically whenever my sister asks if ah want to get out of the house for a moment, and ah don't want to, I always feel the need to justify my staying in. Ah shouldnae, but that's how it is. And short of me rolling my eyes and going: "Awrite... Fine!", a simple "No" doesn't seem to be enough. Failing that, I'd probably have to have my headphones on, a guitar across ma lap, and actually be recording music to make it obvious that: "Naw ! Am no gan oot the day...".
Being the youngest o' yer immediate family can really suck sometimes...