How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

:thumbup:

Thanks, but in the grand scheme o' things, the fact music is the only thing keeping me from offing masel' right now is sad as f**k. Ah mean that in the context of the arguments and family drama going on around me. :sad:

Ah shouldnae be caught in the middle o' this shite! Like they care what ah think. :kickingmyself:

Not that ah don't see the achievement and pride in me teaching myself in the ins and outs of music production. Just difficult to feel good about that when around me is gan tae shite. :crying:

 

[Graeme1988]

Just trying to get "warm" (feelings-wise), but it's a struggle. Having beer & spirits, and playing nice/lovely music. Now playing Genesis. Might play YES next (has good synthesizer). Basically, tonight's playlist will probably be early 80s british synth-rock (Simple Minds, Spandau Ballet, & above). Also a possibility is "pub rock". Also early 70s soft rock.

Sounds like the playlist of my local radio station. :bigsmile: They're always playing soft-rock and British 80s synth music, occasionally you'd hear summit that was more modern and recent, but not often. And my oldest sister - aside from loving all the synth bands you just mentioned - has an encylopedic knowledge of the 80s British synth music scene, since she grew-up when that music was at the peak of it's popularity.

Started off with Pink Floyd, which was good as a transition from instrumental/classical. I intend to surf from the deep/dark/cold waters to the shallow/light/warm!

Sounds like a good way to lift yer mood. :thumbup: Haven't listened Pink Floyd in ages, myself.

No thinking is good thinking. Ignorance/oblivion is bliss!

These are all the tactics i try, with my mood problems on a daily basis almost, but at the back of my mind i have a sneaking suspicion that my social isolation is behind it all. But such is my life .. i can't really change it now, it's a "tad" late for that lol.

Yeah, I can relate, as far the social isolation goes. Cannae offer any tips on improving yer mood. Aside from the usual do something ye enjoy, or go outside for a walk, if the weather's good and ye cun be bothered.

 

[Battlebreath]

I feel that I need to beat someone for being judgemental.

 

[theslowesthand]

So bored i could happily off myself to escape it.

 

[Graeme1988]

Why me, eh? Why? Why am I always the yin who hus tae endure the f**kin' drama, immature and sheer stupidity o' ma family? Ah dinnae huv any pride in them - can't even say I love 'em, really. Ah don't know how ye could love a person or group o' folk who collective made yer life hellish. :question:

They seem tae thinking I'm joking when ah say I hate them and all the other criticism ah level at them. Cuz I'm no...

Plus, my criticisms are just everything they accuse me o' being, except, I can it back-up with examples. The laziness, the c*nty attitude, the snide remarks. But no, it's me who's the bad one.

Ah think I'll just off masel', get it over with. :sad: Might as well, I'm already numb to the point o' being dead emotionally, anyway. Why no just finish the job? :idontknow: Ah mean, it's no like anyone'll miss a useless c*nt like me.

 

[theslowesthand]

Faacked, in a bored way. And run out of things that i "can" do, likely due to the bored mood limiting my options.

So i am listening to some brain audio. Seems to be helping a bit. Not sure i believe in the chanted words themselves, but i believe the track helps nonetheless. Perhaps a number of tracks might work equally well.

 

[Graeme1988]

Slowly getting rid of this flu, but that's all, really. Still miserable as f**k. Everything going to shit. :sad: And my mum seems to find a new thing to complain to me about everyday. To the point where, I fear we're going to come to blows. Seriously can't take much more of this. Cannae hide the fact, either, that listening to her whinging about how she's not happy, day in, day out, is doing my head in. :kickingmyself: Just want to end it all. Cuz looking back on my life up to now, I don't think ah wus ever meant to be happy. :crying:

 

[Jungle]

Feeling good, made myself a 3 egged tortoise omelette, that was not bad at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov_IhSoKGzM

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Working myself into a lather at the thought of ordering stuff online. Sounds like a simple, everyday thing, right? Well, not for me. :no:

It's not so much the ordering (although that's an ordeal in itself), but the delivery. Living as I do in Apartment Hell, there's a good chance (95%?) that anything shipped via the postal service will end up being delivered to the leasing office instead of to me. If that should happen, I'll be shit out of luck, because there's no way in mother-lovin' heck that I'm going into that lions' den to get it. I can't ask the girls who work there to bring it to me either, because A) such an act would fall outside the parameters of their corporate automaton programming, and B) they scare the sweet bejeebus out of me.

Even with UPS or FedEx, and even with explicit delivery instructions, there's a chance of whatever I order ending up in leasing-office limbo. I no get, they no bring, there it sits till they send it back, and I'm out whatever dough I put into it.

I could tell the retailer the package wasn't delivered to me (true), but everyone else would say it was (perversely, also true). What happens next would be the same thing that always happens next: the little guy loses, and that, folks, would be me. :greeting:

I really need to get this stuff, and being homebound, I don't have any other way to get it, but my faith in the system is shot all to bits. Can't say I love it, but I guess I'll have to give it a try and see how it goes. I don't know what else I can do. :idontknow:

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Got some shitty news today, nothing goes right.

 

[Graeme1988]

Not great. But I'll just have to plaster on a fake smile n' pretend everything's grand. :sad: Since, y'know, my problems aren't really problems, just excuses to be lazy, apparently. Me? Depressed? Feck off! Resting bitch face, more like. Despite being anything but lazy.

:idontknow: Guess I've just stopped caring? Or become numb? Quite likely both? It's been awhile... Supposed that's what happens when you've spent much o' yer life living with a single mother who'd rather complain that they're unhappy with life, and blame their current situation on their past. And takes out her woes the only child who still shares a house with he. Instead of, y'know...? Taking the steps to change their situation for the better? :kickingmyself: And being a better person.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I'm feeling really down at the moment. Desolate. :sad:

I wish I had someone to talk to, but if I did, I don't know if I could.

I've been isolated too long to be anything else.

I want it all to end.

 

[AtTheGates]

I hope allied forces smoke EVERY last one of those ISIS sacks of sh!t.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/07/middleeast/raqqa-old-city-video/index.html




christianity>islam.

islam has spread WAY too much in europe and theres no way thats going to happen in america. its a primitive/backwards religion and it pisses me off so much that europe is being overrun by it. civilized culture needs to remain intact.

sorry if thats an unpopular opinion ...actually no, I'm not sorry...im sick of having to be politically correct 24/7 and NEVER getting to stand up for what I believe in..im sick of people bashing christianity every chance they get but then being all about freedom of religion when it comes to islam...seriously?!?! ..there are so many good things about civilized culture that are rooted in christian values and theres no way I'm going to see that undermined by some backwards/primitive religion.

christianity is the dominant religion in the world. check the numbers. Islam is the runner-up. even if you're not religious, trust me, you DONT want to live in a world that is dominated by islam. thats part of the reason why I think christianity needs to be more progressive so it can keep up with the times.

 

[Jungle]

I hope allied forces smoke EVERY last one of those ISIS sacks of sh!t.

christianity>islam.

islam has spread WAY too much in europe and theres no way thats going to happen in america. its a primitive/backwards religion and it pisses me off so much that europe is being overrun by it. civilized culture needs to remain intact.

sorry if thats an unpopular opinion ...actually no, I'm not sorry.

CNN exclusive: Inside ISIS-held Raqqa - CNN.com
CNN exclusive: Inside ISIS-held Raqqa - CNN.com

ISIS are not real muslims obviously.

Being a muslim myself I partly agree with you about the fact that my religion is somehow being imposed on native Europeans, religion is something between you and your creator, I don't care for preachers.

What I don't agree with is that islam is a peaceful and tolerant religion, many muslims fail to reflect this image, even in muslim countries (where I come from), people behave like 'muslims' only in the mosque or during religious events, what a bunch of hypocrites, not all of them of course, but the great majority.

I both hate and like muslims (the open and tolerant ones), some of them are quite funny, drinking alcohol (forbidden in islam) to their heart content, yet getting pissed off when you serve them pork...

Jews are the perfect opposite, they don't bother or impose their way of living to anyone, but they are very conservative, above all what I can't stomach are muslims that hate jews, because to them all jews without exception are zionists...

There you go, this ought to calm you a bit : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOkvVVaJ2Ks

 

[theslowesthand]

Feeling like crap. Bad day. In "running man" mode (anxious). Wishing i knew how to be happy.

Playing this for now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHpJQJ4gPOg&t=437s

Listened to "Stars & Stripes" song, and surprisingly it felt good. I like the heavy metal feel to it. But for now i'm listening to "no metal", in bed really early (5pm), and having a glass of spiced rum (mixed with my usual fruit/vege juice to make a nice healthy cocktail)

I wish i had a better mind. I'm no good when i'm not busy - i get really bored, and quickly. Oh well, maybe in my next life i'll have a good mind, and will be happy.

Just waiting for the day to end. Doing nothing at all, except sipping on my cocktail & eating chocolate. Don't feel like doing anything. Not really interested in anything these days.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Working myself into a lather at the thought of ordering stuff online.

Well, the good news is that my package delivery nightmare has been postponed indefinitely. The bad news is . . . well, pretty much the same thing. h:

It's gonna be a rough couple of weeks for me, waiting for the next opportunity to come along. By then, it may not be worth the trouble.

I've been playing this bullshit game for more years now than I can count. I'm so tired of it all.

 

[Graeme1988]

Kinda hoping this splitting headache that's bothering me for more than a week now turns intae a brain aneurysm n' f**kin' kills me. Ah really do... because I done. Mentally and emotionally effed-up beyond repair.

Oh, speaking of brains: apparently now I'm not allowed to make ma ain decisions. Nut, none whatsoever! Or, if ah do, I must stick with it and never change it. So, everyone else in my family can make decision for themselves, except me. But hey, I'm a man, so hardly surprising I get to do next to f**k all. Having been raised by a bunch of women who have such a high opinion of themselves that they can "do anything". But they'll act like bratty teenagers the second I challenge that, or say something that doesn't align with their "Look at me! I'm f**kin' brilliant, so ah um!" attitude.

Don't get me wrong, it's a great f**kin' life, this. Having to ask my own mother's permission everytime ah want to give masel' a shave. :kickingmyself: F**kin' luxury, so it is. Cannae beat it, really... otherwise I'd be in jail Sorry, my sense of humour tend to go really dark when I'm not in a cheery mood. :sad:

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I feel guilty, which is as close as I get to suicidal.

It's over nothing, but still... it makes me realize just how much trouble I'd be in if I wasn't as sheltered as I am.

I absolutely, positively could NOT hack it in the real world.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

I wish I could revert back to my 5 year old self, throw a huge temper tantrum while falling on the floor and crying, then come back as a 30 year old again like nothing ever happened. It would make me feel better to vent.

 

[Graeme1988]

I feel guilty, which is as close as I get to suicidal.

It's over nothing, but still... it makes me realize just how much trouble I'd be in if I wasn't as sheltered as I am.

I absolutely, positively could NOT hack it in the real world.

I can definitely relate. Though, I'm actually feeling suicidal. :sad: