Hey all

[AngelsTears85]

Hey everyone I just came across this site 2day and don't really know what the heck I'm doing...lol...So here goes nothing I'm a 22 year old girl from New Zealand who has been suffering from SP for most of my life although I do remember a time when I wasn't this way and sooo desperatly want things to go back to the way they were. I'm thankful that I'm not as bad as I was and seem to be every so slowly moving forward toward "normalness"... I have lost all but one of my friends because of SP but I can't blame them how were they to understand something that even I didn't, and couldn't explain to them. I used to feel like I was the only one with this but it's a great relief to know that I'm not the only one...

 

[silentbutdeadly]

Welcome!

Yeah I totally get where you're coming from about losing friends. I'm curious- how exactly did you lose the friends you've lost? I've "lost" most of my friends mainly by just stopping to communicate with them. Gradually over the past few years I've felt like I need more and more space to myself to relax with minimal social contact. The friends I still see from time to time are pretty good about giving me space, but I can tell that they don't quite understand why I would want to be alone for extended periods of time. I think they interpret that as meaning that I don't appreciate them as friends and just have better things to do or something. It makes me feel SO guilty sometimes. Luckily I know that when I get over...whatever it is that I need to get over...my friends will be more than happy enough to accept my company.

As far as improving the situation goes, I've started to read a self-help book called Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety by Erika B. Hilliard. It's starting to help a lot, if not with actual application to my everyday life, at least with my self-confidence and optimism that I can be as happy as I should be with my self and my life. She is someone who's gone through SP herself and is very sympathetic and non-judgmental of her readers; she gives all suggestions from every angle possible for helping with SP in all its forms.

Sorry if that sounded like an ad. I wish you the best.

 

[Joey86]

Yup I think time is the social anxiety sufferers worst enemy when it comes to friendships and relationships.

Welcome aboard AngelsTears

 

[sevenroses]

Welcome to the boards AngelsTears

 

[AngelsTears85]

Thanx

Thanx guys
Yeah I "lost" my friends because I left school b4 they did and at the start they would ask me when they went out or had a party but I always felt more comfortable just hanging out at home with the people I already knew then I guess they just got sick of asking me and me saying no. But anywho what you guys up to?

 

[Starry]

Hello, welcome to the forum.