SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I'm writing this as I've suffered another setback in life - due to my own personal weaknesses and social phobia - and I'm back to square one.
Today I left my job (working in a call centre) because I've had time off for depression, and my phobia has rendered me useless and lazy to try and rectify the situation. I had another day off today, due to lazyness and social phobia and my team leader advised (although not directly) to return permanently or consider leaving.
I'm going to do the latter as I hope that I can use the time to start off my CBT/counselling sessions that I'm trying to arrange with my local surgery and see what life brings.
My social phobia in relation to my job is: not mixing in with my team members due to shyness (this involves at times sitting on my own to avoid people, not engaging in discussion on things as much as I want to, and struggling in my job due to my lack of assertiveness, lack of concentration and understanding customers' more in-depth issues), and mainly my decision to purchase a car to help me to get to work. I passed my driving test in 2009 but due to financial issues, unable to buy a car until recently where I found some confidence to bite the bullet and go for it despite my apprehension at driving again as I wouldn't say I'm a confident driver. I tended to fear the worst and when a few incidents happened (damaging the car, experiencing a few bad driving journeys to work) that re-inforced that fear then my confidence plummeted and because it's my car - some members of my family tend to have a fascination on whether I drive it or not. If I don't take it to work it's like I have to quizzed on it. And because I'm clueless on cars and their workings, I fear the worst when I take it out (i.e I'll crash, I'll breakdown and I won't have a clue what to do) and have tried to get to grips with these issues by reading things online but I'm too shy and unassertive to ask any people that I know incase they look at me and think: "Man, he's 26 year old man and he don't know this? lol".
On a personal level, I've always been shy and reserved. Looking back as a kid, I was probably more louder and a had a short fuse that has deteriated as I've got older. But I'm 26, have a degree that I can't use due to tough economic conditions, don't have any relationship prospects either with or without family's ideas, never came close to a relationship even though I had crushes on girls that I really liked but lacked the confidence to engage in them to a depth that might facilitate a deeper relationship. I don't have a big friends' circle, a few close friends whom I trust but sadly rarely get to see as they have something I don't - a wife! I'd always seen myself as a quite presentable but over the past two decades, my figure has now got a belly with it.
So besides all that, everything's great! lol
I have had a doctor's appointment to discuss my depression, and these feelings I've been experiencing. Will be arranging a session with a psychologist soon and see if that helps.
I've tried to see whether developing a deeper religious affiliation might help but again, I'm too concious of other people's reactions to take that step incase I get mocked or get the tons of questions.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of journey or feelings similiar to mine?
Advice please my friends
Today I left my job (working in a call centre) because I've had time off for depression, and my phobia has rendered me useless and lazy to try and rectify the situation. I had another day off today, due to lazyness and social phobia and my team leader advised (although not directly) to return permanently or consider leaving.
I'm going to do the latter as I hope that I can use the time to start off my CBT/counselling sessions that I'm trying to arrange with my local surgery and see what life brings.
My social phobia in relation to my job is: not mixing in with my team members due to shyness (this involves at times sitting on my own to avoid people, not engaging in discussion on things as much as I want to, and struggling in my job due to my lack of assertiveness, lack of concentration and understanding customers' more in-depth issues), and mainly my decision to purchase a car to help me to get to work. I passed my driving test in 2009 but due to financial issues, unable to buy a car until recently where I found some confidence to bite the bullet and go for it despite my apprehension at driving again as I wouldn't say I'm a confident driver. I tended to fear the worst and when a few incidents happened (damaging the car, experiencing a few bad driving journeys to work) that re-inforced that fear then my confidence plummeted and because it's my car - some members of my family tend to have a fascination on whether I drive it or not. If I don't take it to work it's like I have to quizzed on it. And because I'm clueless on cars and their workings, I fear the worst when I take it out (i.e I'll crash, I'll breakdown and I won't have a clue what to do) and have tried to get to grips with these issues by reading things online but I'm too shy and unassertive to ask any people that I know incase they look at me and think: "Man, he's 26 year old man and he don't know this? lol".
On a personal level, I've always been shy and reserved. Looking back as a kid, I was probably more louder and a had a short fuse that has deteriated as I've got older. But I'm 26, have a degree that I can't use due to tough economic conditions, don't have any relationship prospects either with or without family's ideas, never came close to a relationship even though I had crushes on girls that I really liked but lacked the confidence to engage in them to a depth that might facilitate a deeper relationship. I don't have a big friends' circle, a few close friends whom I trust but sadly rarely get to see as they have something I don't - a wife! I'd always seen myself as a quite presentable but over the past two decades, my figure has now got a belly with it.
So besides all that, everything's great! lol
I have had a doctor's appointment to discuss my depression, and these feelings I've been experiencing. Will be arranging a session with a psychologist soon and see if that helps.
I've tried to see whether developing a deeper religious affiliation might help but again, I'm too concious of other people's reactions to take that step incase I get mocked or get the tons of questions.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of journey or feelings similiar to mine?
Advice please my friends