I've been bullied for 3 years now by two classmates. Not physically, just mentally.To be honest, I'd prefer they have bullied me physically instead of hurting me this way ( i mean gossip, name calling and even threatening me with being beaten up). It was a torture all this period. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I was almost always scared, I was feeling in danger...I don't know why these girls have chosen me to torture.I can say I was always a very good student, but never that kind of nerd. I've always tried to get on well with everybody, I was rather quiet, but always open-minded and eager to talk to anyone.Whenever they came to my desk asking for help (regarding homework), I've never refuse them.When teacher announced my good result in a school competiton, these girls started laughing at me, gossiping as loud as I can hear them.They've tried not to say my name, so that I couldn't stand up for myself. But all my classmates were aware of what was going on and said nothing, they just came to me and encouraged me to go on. I was very dissapointed and didn't know what to do. That time I was preparing myself for another contest at school so I thought it could be a good idea to ask my theacher ( who was closer to me)for a piece of advice. I felt I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the competition if having this probleme on my mind. But this idea proved to be a very bad one as the theacher called these girls and talked to them. As a result, things went worse. These girls were very angry on me and starting yelling and even threatening me. since then I lived every day fearing that they could beat me up any moment. They continued of course gossiping and saying bad things about me , laughing at me. My life really changed since then. I became isolated, fearfull, even more shy than I was and couldn't concentrate on anything.My holidays were all a torture as I knew school would start and I would be again in danger. I could never relax. I couldn't eat almost anything, I started losing weight, I couldn't enjoy a moment with my friends and my boyfriend (this is the reason we broke up I guess). I 've thought of killing myself but I didn't have the guts to do it.My teacher was very angry about my results in contests as they weren't as good as at first (before they started bullying me).little by little I developed anxiety and panic attacks. Although I take my pills every single day (prozac and Spitomin) I'm suffering even now from panic attacks . Even now when I write this post I'm feeling my hands quivering and my heart beating too fast. I've talked, of course to my parents and we've decided that I should move on to another school (even if it's tha last year of highschool). Now I'm scared not only about my past but also about my future, my new classmates. I feel I can't pass through all these things again.Now, when I think about these girls I feel I hate them but I still fear them also. I can't think of being able to concentrate on my previous activities.I just don't know what to do with my life. Sorry for having written so much.
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