have you ever been loved?

[onehandclapping]

aside from family members, would you say you've ever been loved by someone? I haven't, ever. I doubted whether I was loved by my family as a child, and for large periods of childhood I suspected they perhaps didn't. I think I eventually came to the conclusion in the end that they did care about me but had a strange way of showing it. I think I grew up with a warped perception on the idea of being loved and understanding how normal people demonstrate how they care for each other. but due to be socially anxious my whole life and as a result, quite avoidant, I haven't really been close enough to other people for them to feel that way about me. I also recently realised that at some point when I was young I disconnected from engaging in my emotions in terms of what I feel about certain people, that I closed off from feeling emotions for specific other people because during childhood it hurt me a lot feeling something for people I cared about. so I basically sort of shut down a part of me, I realised this when I started to question what would happen if a close family member passed away, they are getting old and ill and I was confused as to why the thought of that happening wouldn't upset me. I thought that it should and I didn't understand why, now I realise its because I shut down a part of myself as a means of not getting hurt by others.
in terms of people outside of my family, I have felt something for other people but it was a case of unrequited feelings, reflecting back on those experiences in my life I also think that if anything, it was infatuation. not love. the people that I have had feelings for haven't felt that way about me, I kind of feel like an idiot for being quite so reckless with my heart, but sometimes I question myself and say what is the point in living if you are not really living and letting yourself feel something... the old phrase its better to have loved and lost then never loved at all. but still, it kind of hurts to know that no one ever felt that way about me, it does make me feel that I am fundamentally a bit unlovable and that there is just something about my personality that makes people not want to love me.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I've felt love from members of my family, but no, I've never been loved by someone in the romantic sense of the word.

 

[drganon]

Besides my family, nope. I've been liked and or respected to varying degrees by friends, acquaintances, and bosses, but that's about it.

 

[MotherWolff]

I am with you guys.

Its really sad but I have never been loved at all, even though I got involved with men both online and in person who claimed they love me so much they would die for me. Then they turn around and stop talking to me for like 3 months straight for the second time and come out of the blue to tell me they are with someone else! >_<

I just now realized something: maybe I have reaped what I sowed. This guy did this horrible thing to me and yet I did the same exact thing to someone else. But I didn't go off with another person.....I just wanted to be alone cause of a fear of being hurt more. I think I am scared of how a guy can get physical when they get mad.

I swear if a man started to beat on me I'd have ta shoot 'em dead!

Anyways, I don't wanna take chances going thru that. And the world is so full of creeps and weirdos today that you just will never know a man's heart, their true intentions.

I feel like I am better off being alone.

I don't want to be alone all of the time. But I feel like being alone plus being independent simply equals safety.

For me, safety comes before happiness, joy, fun, or whatever the hell you wanna call it.

So would I want to be loved? Yes. But I am afraid to see if that can ever be a reality cause of my fear of men. I only trust men in my family whom I know VERY well. But I almost do despise men. Strangely though, although I almost hate men, I am physically attracted to certain men like some women. I guess that's natural. If I had control over my emotions I wouldn't be attracted to anyone: men and women both.

I don't need to have sex. But I do need to be loved. I am just scared of the risks and the hurt involved. I am scared to marry the man of my dreams, have kids with him, and worry to death about their safety every time I get out of bed.......

So is being loved even worth it? Maybe......maybe not.....who knows?

 

[Solo Dolo]

Yes. Until she didn't love me anymore and cheated on me and broke my heart and my life into a billion ****ing pieces.

 

[MotherWolff]

Yes. Until she didn't love me anymore and cheated on me and broke my heart and my life into a billion ****ing pieces.

No one deserves to be cheated on. She is the one missing out. She obviously doesn't deserve you and your love. You need to say, "**** her." And then move on with your life. Its hard but you'll live. I don't think being loved is a necessity but it sure feels pretty damn good.....

 

[Sial Axetder]

Yes. Until she didn't love me anymore and cheated on me and broke my heart and my life into a billion ****ing pieces.

MotherWolf has it right, Solo Dolo.
In time it'll all be a distant, faded memory. If it isn't already. Sometimes anger and hatred linger a long time.

 

[BlueDays]

aside from family members, would you say you've ever been loved by someone? I haven't, ever. I doubted whether I was loved by my family as a child, and for large periods of childhood I suspected they perhaps didn't. I think I eventually came to the conclusion in the end that they did care about me but had a strange way of showing it. I think I grew up with a warped perception on the idea of being loved and understanding how normal people demonstrate how they care for each other. but due to be socially anxious my whole life and as a result, quite avoidant, I haven't really been close enough to other people for them to feel that way about me. I also recently realised that at some point when I was young I disconnected from engaging in my emotions in terms of what I feel about certain people, that I closed off from feeling emotions for specific other people because during childhood it hurt me a lot feeling something for people I cared about. so I basically sort of shut down a part of me, I realised this when I started to question what would happen if a close family member passed away, they are getting old and ill and I was confused as to why the thought of that happening wouldn't upset me. I thought that it should and I didn't understand why, now I realise its because I shut down a part of myself as a means of not getting hurt by others.in terms of people outside of my family, I have felt something for other people but it was a case of unrequited feelings, reflecting back on those experiences in my life I also think that if anything, it was infatuation. not love. the people that I have had feelings for haven't felt that way about me, I kind of feel like an idiot for being quite so reckless with my heart, but sometimes I question myself and say what is the point in living if you are not really living and letting yourself feel something... the old phrase its better to have loved and lost then never loved at all. but still, it kind of hurts to know that no one ever felt that way about me, it does make me feel that I am fundamentally a bit unlovable and that there is just something about my personality that makes people not want to love me.

^ I thought I was at one stage in my life, but as it turned out I was only being used.
That experience has made me shut that door forever. Now it does not have a chance ever happening for real.

 

[THeCARS1979]

no I lost out, i feel cursed

 

[Kiwong]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTzC9msamtk

Have you ever been in love?

Have you touched the soul of someone?

Or did the fear inside make you turn and run?

 

[singing-love]

Yes, I have been loved in the romantic sense. Still am actually, I guess i'm lucky, I don't even know how it happened, it just did. Anyway... :shyness:

 

[Hellhound]

In the affectionate-sibling-close friend kind of way? Probably.

 

[GhastlyCC]

Of course not.

 

[MikeyC]

So would I want to be loved? Yes. But I am afraid to see if that can ever be a reality cause of my fear of men. I only trust men in my family whom I know VERY well. But I almost do despise men.

Do you really hate men that much? Not all of us are that bad, haha.

 

[YukoNishi]

I've been loved by two of the best people in the world.

 

[breakthespell]

Yes, once. And that changed me a lot. If you experience love, you will want it again. I sometimes wish I never experienced it, so that way I wouldn't know what I was missing out on.

It's even worse knowing how good it can get, but never get it.

 

[Zackarydoo]

In the past I have been, but not for many many years now. It's a lovely feeling to feel that close to someone, but losing it is hell. I miss having that closeness a lot and can't even remember what it feels like any more. I don't feel there's any chance I'll ever be loved by anyone again. No woman even wants to hug me so I can't imagine anything more.

 

[Argentum]

I think so, but I also think the number of people I've loved is a lot higher than the number of people who've loved me.

 

[SonicMan]

By family yes. But no one else has ever cared about me. I wish I had someone.

 

[Earthcircle]

Yes, but he died. In fact, he died right in front of me. I tried telling this to a psychotherapist who acted like I was lying. That was not helpful.

Psychotherapists are worthless wastes of water. They never understand anything.