wooaah
Well-known member
warning wall of text
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This issue has bothered me for a very long time. That being quiet, being accomodative, being nice, makes me very easy to push around. I didn't realise this until a few years ago in work training.
The training program was filled with type A go getters… and me. I worked my ass off.
At the end of the program everyone was giving an evaluation sheet to rate their peers. Which a catch. Each person only had a limited number of points to give, meaning if they rated someone highly, they would be forced to rate someone else low.
Then came the day to receive the feedback. I went into the room with the evaluator and he slid over the piece of paper. I was the lowest in the entire group. “What do you think?” he asked. I was dejected. I worked so hard throughout training, tried to be nice to everyone, tried to be cooperative.
“I guess I need to try harder” I answered.
“No” he replied. “do you think you deserve this? You don’t deserve this. Why do you think this happened?”
I had no idea.
“they were forced to rate someone down, so they all picked the easiest target, the one that is a pushover. The one that won't speak up to defend himself” He said. “they’re pushing you around.”
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Since then i have noticed many incidents where I am taken advantage of. Just because i don't have the guts to complain. Just because the act of standing up for myself is so traumatic, i'd rather keep quiet and endre people walking all over me. This is the part of being quiet that i hate most.
----------------------------------------
This issue has bothered me for a very long time. That being quiet, being accomodative, being nice, makes me very easy to push around. I didn't realise this until a few years ago in work training.
The training program was filled with type A go getters… and me. I worked my ass off.
At the end of the program everyone was giving an evaluation sheet to rate their peers. Which a catch. Each person only had a limited number of points to give, meaning if they rated someone highly, they would be forced to rate someone else low.
Then came the day to receive the feedback. I went into the room with the evaluator and he slid over the piece of paper. I was the lowest in the entire group. “What do you think?” he asked. I was dejected. I worked so hard throughout training, tried to be nice to everyone, tried to be cooperative.
“I guess I need to try harder” I answered.
“No” he replied. “do you think you deserve this? You don’t deserve this. Why do you think this happened?”
I had no idea.
“they were forced to rate someone down, so they all picked the easiest target, the one that is a pushover. The one that won't speak up to defend himself” He said. “they’re pushing you around.”
---------------------------------------------------------------
Since then i have noticed many incidents where I am taken advantage of. Just because i don't have the guts to complain. Just because the act of standing up for myself is so traumatic, i'd rather keep quiet and endre people walking all over me. This is the part of being quiet that i hate most.
As soon as they see that you stand up for yourself, they back off. NO ONE pushes me around anymore... I live so much more comfotably now because of it