grapevine
Well-known member
Whats wrong with me? I feel so jittery and anxious and kinda upset a bit.
For a month now or a bit more - most of my weeks have been me rushing with excitement to go stay over my partners place (and we have now only been together for 2 months or so).
I literally, when I am home - will spend only fast bursts of time, usually I will have a shower and all that and then pack my things and my food etc and at the same time be messaging with him. I havent really been in my own world for a while. Ive basically just wanted to be running straight over there. Its been quite magnetic.
But last night he had a bender with his mates and paying guitar. Normal thing. And I was at home for once lol. And tonight he is having a long sleep from that. So I am home again.
I just feel so anxious. Its like - a bit disappointing kinda - like its hard to wind down too. I feel a little rejected - when Im not - I feel silly actually lol.
Im finding it hard to balance things. Im so used to being at his place and doing things there rather than at home now. And when Im at home I feel I can easily get swallowed by my BDD- maybe that is what it is?
Anyway, he takes the time to message me what and stuff- I know what he is up to all the time. And Im seeing him at 9:30 tomorrow anyway..
But I am finding it hard now to be on my own in my own world- rather than being calm and centred and enjoying my world too.
Idk, I guess maybe I might make him come over here- although I dont have the independence as much like at his place which is the reason why I am always over his. I have a tiny bedroom with a single bed and live with my folks. He lives with his family - but lives in a large converted double garage lol.
Anyway- I just wonder if anyone can give me some wise comfort of words in this.
For a month now or a bit more - most of my weeks have been me rushing with excitement to go stay over my partners place (and we have now only been together for 2 months or so).
I literally, when I am home - will spend only fast bursts of time, usually I will have a shower and all that and then pack my things and my food etc and at the same time be messaging with him. I havent really been in my own world for a while. Ive basically just wanted to be running straight over there. Its been quite magnetic.
But last night he had a bender with his mates and paying guitar. Normal thing. And I was at home for once lol. And tonight he is having a long sleep from that. So I am home again.
I just feel so anxious. Its like - a bit disappointing kinda - like its hard to wind down too. I feel a little rejected - when Im not - I feel silly actually lol.
Im finding it hard to balance things. Im so used to being at his place and doing things there rather than at home now. And when Im at home I feel I can easily get swallowed by my BDD- maybe that is what it is?
Anyway, he takes the time to message me what and stuff- I know what he is up to all the time. And Im seeing him at 9:30 tomorrow anyway..
But I am finding it hard now to be on my own in my own world- rather than being calm and centred and enjoying my world too.
Idk, I guess maybe I might make him come over here- although I dont have the independence as much like at his place which is the reason why I am always over his. I have a tiny bedroom with a single bed and live with my folks. He lives with his family - but lives in a large converted double garage lol.
Anyway- I just wonder if anyone can give me some wise comfort of words in this.
