Escaping my family

[LeapFrog]

Sorry, this is more of a blog than anything else, but here goes...

The only people that I actually like in my family are my mom and dad and brother. My sister, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc. I am not so fond of. Its because they generally ignore me at family gatherings. And I'm usually made the butt of jokes -- In an innocent way, but still. So I don't want to be myself around them, and so I inevitably become the 'quiet one'. And I don't really enjoy talking to them either, as snobby as that sounds -- But I can't help it; it's true.

And my sister is no help, either. She always makes these stupid comments to make me feel worthless. Like tonight, we were at my Aunt and Uncle's house because it's Christmas Eve, and we usually go over there every year (it's tradition, I suppose). I forget what we were talking about, but I said something to my cousin, and my sister blurts out, "Oh look! He finally said something!". No one really paid attention to when she said that, but that really pissed me off. It's like, who cares? Aren't I allowed to talk? And she always says stuff like that.

Does anyone else ever feel 'bogged-down' by their family? Sometimes I feel as if they're suffocating me, and in order to be able to be myself and overcome my SA, I have to get away from them and everything to do with them.

So I basically don't like being my true-self around most of my family. Which is why I came to the solution that I am going to go to England to travel when I'm done college in 2007. It will make me more independent because I won't be bogged down by my family, and will help me overcome my SA, and I will be able to be myself.

Thoughts? Opinions? I want to know what you think, and if you've had any similar experiences.

 

[Richey]

Absolutely i can relate to that completely. I have very controlling parents so its difficult to have a relationship with them. My sister is an extremely bossy person so i don't get along with her very well. My family are really great at letting me know my weaknesses but never try and lighten up a situation or make the step to have an enjoyable time. I have tried but they just ask me what im after.

My Dad seems to twist words around in conversations to suit himself. He also will become angry and threatening about little things that don't need that kind of over the top reaction.

At the moment i am avoiding my family because i don't see anything worth hanging around for as sad as this sounds.
Maybe when i'm older and have moved out and started my own life. But for now its like living under a dictatorship! that seems vigarously unhealthy.

Also because i'm not a confident talker they go out of their way to put me down at family gatherings or functions in front of everyone. Particularly my sister. Normally i have a comeback but when it comes to my sister its not a funny! kind of put down its a humiliating(personal stuff) sort of put down.

Anyways its Christmas and its time to relax and move forward. Honestly if your family treats you in this way then ask yourself if they really are acting like family. Sure they provided in the material sense. But if they arn't willing to spend the time helping you and being your friend the sometimes we have to let go even if this means shutting them out completely for a while anyway.

 

[Richey]

There is a film that came out from America that deals with the issue of family! and the conditioning of tradition. It questions the old fashioned family mentality of fathers and their attitude towards their kids.
But i forget what its called.

 

[kiwi]

And my sister is no help, either. She always makes these stupid comments to make me feel worthless. Like tonight, we were at my Aunt and Uncle's house because it's Christmas Eve, and we usually go over there every year (it's tradition, I suppose). I forget what we were talking about, but I said something to my cousin, and my sister blurts out, "Oh look! He finally said something!". No one really paid attention to when she said that, but that really pissed me off. It's like, who cares? Aren't I allowed to talk? And she always says stuff like that.

Your sister sounds like a bit of a bully, whether she means it or not. I can't think of any reason for saying what she did other than as a way to try and make fun of you (not in a nice way either). It's good that nobody else paid attention to her though.

Does your sister have any weaknesses? If so I would suggest that next time she says something like that, you retort with something that would piss her off.... maybe then she will get the message.

 

[qipuqipu]

Haven't posted for ages, no-one knows me, but blah.

I just can't get on with my parents. My mum escepially. She can obviously tell that something's wrong with me, but she treats me with this horrible attitude. Like, she might say 'invited to any Christmas parties', I'll say no, and she'll just laugh slightly. Or if I don't want to talk to her, she'll just come and sit in my room and start looking at all my stuff. It may not sound like anything major, but her whole demanour is a bit... creepy. It's so much that I just don't want to go near her sometimes. I don't want to confront her though, because I'm worried she'll do her whole 'injured little girl' thing, and try to pile the guilt on me. My dad's not the greatest either, tending to get angry at the tiniest things, but he at least seems somewhat understanding.

Now I feel really guilty for anonymously attacking my parents. -_-

 

[IceLad]

I think my family has had a lot to do with causing my social phoiba.

When we were growing up, my elder sister did her best to destroy my confidence with a lot of nasty remarks, which were designed to sap away at my self esteem. As a result, she may have forgotten what she has done, but I feel a lot of resentment towards her and I hate her (sorry if thats a bit bitter guys!). Thankfully she has moved out and I she her rarely. My parents split up when I was young, and my mum was, and still continues to be, very critical and pessimistic over the simplest of things that I do.

My family really does my head in sometimes!

I can well understand how I've developed social phobia.

 

[LeapFrog]

Your sister sounds like a bit of a bully, whether she means it or not. I can't think of any reason for saying what she did other than as a way to try and make fun of you (not in a nice way either).

Yeah, she can be a real bitch sometimes. She does things just to annoy me, and acts all innocent. Like tonight, I was watching TV by myself, and she comes in and starts yapping loudly to my mom about something, and I told them if they could go talk in the other room. So they did, but my sister came back and started interrogating my about what I was watching on TV, and walking around my chair eating peanuts, and she just wouldn't leave. It was very annoying. I asked what she wanted, and she said she was just watching TV. BS. She was just there to piss me off.

She does crap like that all the time, and frankly I've had enough, and I'm not going to put up with it anymore.

 

[Richey]

To be fair was she just walking in to watch TV with you? Or was she genuinaly hasselling you? And if she was then tell her straight up to stop with the nonsense!
If she doesn't listen to you then just ignore her. Dont talk to her until she finds some sense.

 

[LeapFrog]

She walked in to talk to my mom, who was sitting on the couch reading a book at the time. Yeah, I am just sort of being neutral to her at the moment.