Do some of you find yourselves acting the other gender?

[FriendlyShadow]

I know this is a stupid question, but I post because most of the time I don't act like my own gender(most find it weird but), I speak like I'm a guy and I kind of act as if I'm ome as wel.
Does anyone find that weird? I know I'm not not girly and all wear dresses and gossip and such. I just tend to have this charm of being nerdy and boyish like while being a girl. It's hard for me to explain though. I guess because I've been so close to my father, I noticed how similar we talk and how similar we dress in a way. Do any of you act out the opposite gender? Is it wrong though? Does it have to do with DNA or something?

 

[Flanscho]

With DNA? Sure, to some degree. You are who you are as a result of two things:
1) any information your brain picked up and how your brain processed that information
2) any impact the world had on your body and how your body is like now as a result

That basically forms you. To some degree it's DNA (like mostly how your body is shaped and how your brain works), to some degree it's the world we live in changing you.

Is it weird? Depends. For whom? For some remote indian tribes in the brazil jungle, about everything from the modern world is weird. For conservative people a lot is weird too. It always depends who you are talking about.

For modern tolerant people, it's of course not weird. Gender roles are corsets we are stuffed in from early childhood on. Some people are brainwashed into thinking that it's actually the way they are. Like, if a girl says that pink is her favorite color. It is mostly her favorite color because she was raised into thinking that, and now considers her very own opinion, while it's not. Some people obey gender roles, others don't. And roles change too. On the gothic festivals I go to, a quarter or third of the men wear black skirts. Things change, always, constantly. A century ago, pink was the boys color (because it's supposed to be a strong color and close to red), while blue was a girls color (because it's supposed to be calm and serene and gentle).

In the end only two things matter: whether you are happy and whether you reached happiness without hurting others.


Now, same as with sexual preferences, there is no real black and white. I consider my brain to be something like 70% to 80% masculine and the rest feminine. I like my male body, but I can't stand gender roles. I won't buy a woman dinner only because I go out with her. The time that women were not capable of earning money and depended on men are over. Go buy your own food. That doesn't mean that I'd never invite someone to dinner. If I know that she has no money and she is a good friend of mine, and if I have money, then of course I consider inviting her. But that has nothing to do with the gender.

I also use such gothic festivals and clubs to get away from gender roles. It's one of those subcultures were the gender roles have softened up. Just today I went to the cobbler to get my boots, that I bought last week. They're black leather boots with some 7cm heel or something, that you lace up and are very comfy and wide and such. A good mixture between the cliché man and womans boot. But I disliked the loud heel, so I had the cobbler replace the plastic part with a rubber one.

Well, so, to make it short:
Is it wrong or weird to toy with gender roles or abandon them for good? Nope, it's not. You make use of the freedom other people ignore. You explore, push boundaries, try to find yourself, whereas others are content with being what others told them to.

Or in other words:

 

[jaim38]

Yes, I'm female but can be very tomboyish. I'm into manga/manhwa of the shonen and seinen genres. I like playing video games. I am into IT. I don't wear dresses a lot. Even my voice is kinda deep, like if someone were to listen to my voice without seeing my face, they'd think I was a guy. I'm straight though.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Yes, I'm female but can be very tomboyish. I'm into manga/manhwa of the shonen and seinen genres. I like playing video games. I am into IT. I don't wear dresses a lot. Even my voice is kinda deep, like if someone were to listen to my voice without seeing my face, they'd think I was a guy. I'm straight though.

I can relate Jaim. Though, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a tomboy since I don't do sports that much, don't climb trees, or have like bad courteousy(burping, aggressiveness, ect. Though maybe that's just a stereotype in shows/movies. I would agree not all tomboys do that though.) It's hard for me to explain myself though. I think I think of myself as a nerdy boyish girl. I play video games, go on the computer a while, (my voice even sounds nerdy and boyish like), dress in say casual,simple clothings, being nice, just almost about everything a nerdy boy would have(if you've seen movies/shows with nerdy boys and how they act, I think that would be a pretty good way to describe me), I think if you've watched peter parker from those spider man movies would be an example of how I act towards people, not to mention shyness. Being nice, goofy, and nerdy and all. I know most girls around me probably don't have this weird personality like I do and aren't even as close as to acting like me. Who knows. Maybe I am the only girl who acts opposing to my traits, verbal talking, body language, likes, and so on. Like I said I can't really explain it unless you could meet me in person for me to perform my display.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

With DNA? Sure, to some degree. You are who you are as a result of two things:
1) any information your brain picked up and how your brain processed that information
2) any impact the world had on your body and how your body is like now as a result

That basically forms you. To some degree it's DNA (like mostly how your body is shaped and how your brain works), to some degree it's the world we live in changing you.

Is it weird? Depends. For whom? For some remote indian tribes in the brazil jungle, about everything from the modern world is weird. For conservative people a lot is weird too. It always depends who you are talking about.

For modern tolerant people, it's of course not weird. Gender roles are corsets we are stuffed in from early childhood on. Some people are brainwashed into thinking that it's actually the way they are. Like, if a girl says that pink is her favorite color. It is mostly her favorite color because she was raised into thinking that, and now considers her very own opinion, while it's not. Some people obey gender roles, others don't. And roles change too. On the gothic festivals I go to, a quarter or third of the men wear black skirts. Things change, always, constantly. A century ago, pink was the boys color (because it's supposed to be a strong color and close to red), while blue was a girls color (because it's supposed to be calm and serene and gentle).

In the end only two things matter: whether you are happy and whether you reached happiness without hurting others.


Now, same as with sexual preferences, there is no real black and white. I consider my brain to be something like 70% to 80% masculine and the rest feminine. I like my male body, but I can't stand gender roles. I won't buy a woman dinner only because I go out with her. The time that women were not capable of earning money and depended on men are over. Go buy your own food. That doesn't mean that I'd never invite someone to dinner. If I know that she has no money and she is a good friend of mine, and if I have money, then of course I consider inviting her. But that has nothing to do with the gender.

I also use such gothic festivals and clubs to get away from gender roles. It's one of those subcultures were the gender roles have softened up. Just today I went to the cobbler to get my boots, that I bought last week. They're black leather boots with some 7cm heel or something, that you lace up and are very comfy and wide and such. A good mixture between the cliché man and womans boot. But I disliked the loud heel, so I had the cobbler replace the plastic part with a rubber one.

Well, so, to make it short:
Is it wrong or weird to toy with gender roles or abandon them for good? Nope, it's not. You make use of the freedom other people ignore. You explore, push boundaries, try to find yourself, whereas others are content with being what others told them to.

Or in other words:

Thank you for the information Flanscho. I agree, people are people no matter what they do or are like. I liked the picture of the drawings by the way. It;s nicely put and shows more of a vivid outlook to understand everybody can act in different ways, wheras others are typically being stereotyped.

 

[kihira]

Is it wrong though?

Nope, nothing wrong with being yourself

In Wyoming, he's tough enough to be a Sissy - latimes.com

 

[TreeBones]

I agree with Flanscho, I don't like gender roles. My mom had my 4 older brothers trying to get to me, a girl, which is what she says she always wanted. I never lived up to her expectations, she would dress me in dresses, puffy sleeves, frills, and just play with me like a doll, which was really uncomfortable for me. She painted my first room pink when she knew my favorite color was black and that I hated pink. femininity and masculinity is just something conjured up from society, they're stereotypes. I don't think color has gender, nor should it depend on the length of your hair. I'm not saying men and women are completely the same inside because we have different chemicals going on but I don't like all the assumptions and expectations that come with gender.

 

[Hellhound]

I believe I'm gender-neutral.

 

[Quietguy11]

I don't think it's wrong, as long as you are true to yourself/believe in yourself, love yourself, and are comfortable with yourself, then you should be free to be who you want to be! And yes, I would say that it's probably in the DNA as to how you role-play your life between genders. But if acting out (and I don't mean to say it as if it's mere acting. I know that these feelings are totally real) the opposite gender confuses your identity and makes you feel like you don't know yourself, then I think that these are the best alternatives to take: 1. Push through the feelings and learn to accept who've you become or, 2. Slowly take steps toward becoming more customized with your true self.

 

[LA-girl]

Not really. Only when I need to do hard work. I guess I can sometimes act gender neutral. I used to be more girly before, but looking back I don't consider it to be something very positive. I guess I'm a bit like Kristen Stewart, a bit tomboyish at times. I have no wish or desire to be like Paris Hilton, to say the least. And in a challenging position, or when you don't want to seem as though you are trying to impress the opposite sex (which is just embarrassing looking back on the period I was like that), I tend to get more tomboyish. Also if you feel you need to toughen up a bit. Again it depends on the people and circumstance.

 

[LA-girl]

If you ever find me trying to act a la Paris Hilton, please just kill me.

 

[jaim38]

And in a challenging position, or when you don't want to seem as though you are trying to impress the opposite sex (which is just embarrassing looking back on the period I was like that), I tend to get more tomboyish. Also if you feel you need to toughen up a bit. Again it depends on the people and circumstance.

Yeah, I find the need to act more tomboyish around boys because I don't want them to get the impression that I like them romantically. But around girls, I soften up a bit.

If you ever find me trying to act a la Paris Hilton, please just kill me.

lol

 

[Richey]

Not so much that. But definitely multiple personalities, I used to practice impersonations in my spare time and sometimes I would change accents and voices to try and be funny, I always though i'd work in radio doing voice overs. For fun. I think it's boring if you just have the same voice, personality all the time, so to get me through I would impersonate famous actors and bbc comedy people in my car and at home in private. Fully aware and in control though.

 

[sahxox]

I rather work with males than females... despite sp, girls are boss for some biological reason. Males are less moody/more consistent in my experience.
Not answering your question OP, but this post has provoked some thoughts of my own

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Not really. Only when I need to do hard work. I guess I can sometimes act gender neutral. I used to be more girly before, but looking back I don't consider it to be something very positive. I guess I'm a bit like Kristen Stewart, a bit tomboyish at times. I have no wish or desire to be like Paris Hilton, to say the least. And in a challenging position, or when you don't want to seem as though you are trying to impress the opposite sex (which is just embarrassing looking back on the period I was like that), I tend to get more tomboyish. Also if you feel you need to toughen up a bit. Again it depends on the people and circumstance.

LA girl, I have felt too I was a lot girlier back then(when I was really young) I think I ended up growing out of jewlery and make up since I was about thirteen. I still like my stuffed animals, unfortunately my mom threw out most of my pokemon dolls since she thought I was too babyish for them. I guess the other half of it was trying to impress others by my outer apperance, which I know is probably shallow of me. I think Hollywood is all about competition instead of praising one's acting abilities. Now, all I see in magazines or shows these days are top hottest females, cosmetics, and information about has beens I don't actually care for. It's always about competition! It's always who's wearing the best outfits/clothes, who's going out with who, who has the most nicest houses. I actually can relate more to certain male actors/celebrities than I can with the girls. Maybe I act like neither gender. Maybe I have a touch with my emotional feminime side as well as keeping some male/nerdy traits to compliment it. Not to say I dress completely like butch. I do wear just nice plain clothing(no dresses, skirts, ect) I just can't actually picture myself gossiping, being frilly, going to proms in a dress, and all that. I can't honestly picture myself at all wearing jewlery and puffy dresses. And I can't even picture myself having romantics for very masucline, tall muscular guys. I always was attracted more to boys who have more casual, feminine looking apperance. Though, I still don't know if I have the desire to date at all. Sorry, I'm rambling though.

 

[LA-girl]

"Yeah, I find the need to act more tomboyish around boys because I don't want them to get the impression that I like them romantically. But around girls, I soften up a bit. "

Problem is I have guys around me all the time, so it does not matter who I'm with. I just hope I have made my point clear soon, so I can start acting a bit more normal in that regard. I don't really know if , how and when. I don't feel I'm acting much tomboyish other than when I feel people show a lack of respect, so I get in a warrior mode. EIther that or I feel down and completely unmotivated.

 

[Diend]

My guess is that gender identity is very complex. I was never the strongest boy in my class and I clearly remember acting more feminine than normal in kindergarten. I think as a child when you dont have a sense of self yet, your true self comes out. As an adult, I would stick to my gender role out of convenience.

 

[LA-girl]

I can give two examples of periods where I have acted very feminine and periods I have acted more gender neutral or a bit tomboyish:

1. Gender neutral/tomboyish would be after my parents divorced and when I lived home with my dad and my two brothers, I got into ****rty and because my mum was not in the house, I was embarrassed being the only girl so I remember trying to hide it when I got my period, I tried to hide my breasts a bit and tried not to act very feminine when around them.

2. In my late teens and early twenties I started acting quite feminine, wearing makeup, dressing more feminine etc, it was not an act, it was more like finally feeling free and accepted for being a girl/woman and being complemented for the way I was. It felt natural and I never felt like I went to far, as in acting extremely Paris Hiltonish. This was when I was seeing guys that was not in my family. As soon as I got home, my dad's house, I felt more uneased, I did not want him to see me that way. And when he said "no wonder you attract guys the way you dress", I felt uneased. And no, I have never been close to being exposed to incest, if someone is thinking that. Not even close. But I still feel this way around my dad and my brothers. They even used to pick on me when I was a kid for being too vain, so they always held me back in this regard. And I was really a girl who was all about dolls, baby dolls, Barbie dolls, you name it.
But yeah, I do feel this same feeling even today. Like I said, I would die if i ever started acting like Paris Hilton, she is a person I would parody. But when I am in my right element I am a feminine person. But I doubt I will ever be in my right element again, so...... I have become very serious and as I said a bit warrior-like or depressed because of the situation I am under. When I am like this, I feel I am very much like one of my friends who live up north. In my class 1-9th grade, there was no Paris Hilton, thank God.I think most of us girls were the type that can easily be buddies with a guy. There were no cheer-leader gangs to say it like that.

 

[BlackPuma]

I've never really felt particularly 'manly' either, it's just not me to be over masculine or feminine. It's much more enjoyable walking down the neutral line of genders anyway- you get to see and enjoy things others with heavier sense of gender roles/instinct might not.

It's by no means wrong - better yet - it's a good thing if you're able to live by how you feel.

 

[TailsAlone]

Gender roles exist for a reason. They're an extension of biology. We shouldn't take them too seriously, but they weren't invented out of thin air to bother us.

I guess I have a feminine side and sometimes try to get inside a woman's head, but I still don't understand them. And I'm not about to go outside in a dress. I look awkward enough in normal clothes.