Did you used to be social or were you always SA?

[Flyingheart]

I'm just curious as to how many people have had SA all their lives or became socially anxious over a time, and if so, what age did you realize? (if you want to say)

I still remember being shy but still kind of outgoing if that makes sense, when I was 12. Then after that, a slow but gradual change to SA.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I was never really shy until I became agoraphobic at 15-- but I don't really consider myself shy... more like paranoid.

I lost faith in human beings at a very young age, I don't even remember when it was but I was bullied so much that adults always figured I was anti social when really, I was just too scared to bother with anyone other than myself because it would always just get me into trouble.
I was a really energetic and positive kid; I was just beat down too much to really show it and today I'm still that scared little kid.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I have had SA for as long as I can remember. I didn't realize that was what it was until I was about 23 and diagnosed myself. I talked to a counselor who agreed with me. I always knew something was different about me, but couldn't really put a label on it--it went way beyond shyness. I think many people would describe me as shy, only being able to observe how I behave, and not knowing how I feel inside. I am now 29 and have improved considerably over the past decade or so, but it is still a struggle.

 

[Flyingheart]

Thanks for answering guys.
Yes, a lot of people can only assume I'm shy aswell, as I'm sure many others here are the same.
To be honest, I'm not even really sure of the true definition of SA is, maybe there isn't one but I associate the term with everything that has gone wrong for me personally, ie. paranoia, depression and inability to socialize freely

 

[Phoenixx]

I've always been a shy kid, but when I was little, I was pretty friendly with other people (I was pretty scared around adults though, but I think that's a normal little kid thing). I definitely haven't had SA all my life. I'd say it all started when I was 12/13, all thanks to being teased, and it's been gradually getting worse from there.

 

[userremoved]

I've been shy and quiet for as long as I can remember. Though I think I would have turned out fine had not bullies targeted me in school. Bullies can really screw a person up for life.

 

[simpsons2007]

I was always an extremely shy as a kid and stayed away from social situations and over the years it has got really bad. I think the 10yrs or so I was bullied at school didn't help I lost trust in almost everyone I met.

I think my SA started when I was about 9/10 not long after the bullying started and my SA gets worse as the years go by. I didn't know what it was till I found this forum.

 

[Acegame]

I was social as a kid and had many friends. Maybe i was a little bit shy, but like most kids are when they are young. Never anxious and it certainly didnt bother me. I wasnt an extrovert but no introvert either. I think it was when i was 12 i started to get a little socially anxious, but still it didnt bother me. When i was 15/16 i started to lose friends because of it and was it hard to make new friends.

 

[InfraRecon]

I have been uncomfortable socially from the moment I slipped out of the child mentality of being unaware and oblivious to public, social and behavioral norms.

 

[Nl54]

I was always a bit on the shy side, but didn't have any real problem with feelings of anxiety around people until my early 20's.

 

[goldatom]

I was bullied since very young for being fat. I started hating people in my teenage years. At 18 I tried to be outgoing and succeeded but had a nervous breakdown (couldn't handle all the success lmao). I'm worse off since then. It sucks to have anxiety.

 

[nightcrawler]

I was always quite a shy kid, but my problems were compounded when I was around 16-17 years old. I got a part-time job for after school working in a local supermarket - as a cashier. This shop used to get very busy with long queues, and I started becoming very self-conscious at the till and thinking that everyone in the line was looking at me. This made me blush, then people would notice this...and so the viscious circle began :: You also have to remember that back in the late 80's there were very few male cashiers in supermarkets (at least in the UK), so this made me stand out even more. Over the next few years my shyness & blushing got worse, eventually leading to where I am today with fully blown SA (self diagnosed). What really gets me is when I went for that part-time job they even asked me what I wanted to do - stacking shelves or tills? I thought sitting on my arse at the tills would be easier so went for that, not knowing it would be a catalyst for making my life worse. Hindsight's a great thing...

 

[Paahi]

It started when i was in my teens.

 

[FriendlessGirl]

I always used to be shy but i was able to meet new people or hang out with my friends.My anxiety became severe when i started highschool where i didn't know any other person.

 

[Depression Glass]

As a child, I was never very energetic, but I was very social and friendly to strangers. I loved to talk to people. I was, in fact, so friendly to strangers that my mom was terrified someone would snatch me.

Unfortunately, I was the smart chubby girl who was always teacher's pet, so my peers beat me into submission. I regularly cried myself to sleep even as young as 6 years old. I remember fantasizing about being hit on the head by a falling brick so I could be stupid and happy like everyone else seemed to be.

Eventually, the years of brutal teasing and exclusion from classmates, a physically/emotionally abusive mother, and worsening Bipolar disorder leading to several hospitalizations led me to stop leaving the house at 15. I was diagnosed with Avoidant PD and I eventually dropped out of school.

So no, I wasn't always like this. And even when I'm outside and I'm terrified I still behave in a friendly, chatty way with strangers. I still love talking to people and am always desperately hurting for company. I'm always so lonely it just kills me. But in the battle between anxiety and loneliness, anxiety usually wins. Hopefully I can fix it someday.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

i had SA as long as i can remember. i can recall being more social as a young child, but believe i did still have SA, and it just grew worse as i got older...

 

[Flyingheart]

Thanks for the answers, all of you. It's really interesting to see that most people started to develop/become aware of their SA during their teens...
I seem to have the most in common with phoenixx and acegame.

My counsellor told me once that it was connected to "teen angst" that was how she put it, and probably had a lot to do with puberty.
I was 15 and thought it was a pile of rubbish, certain that there was a much bigger reason for my problem as I didn't know it was called SA back then.

But maybe it DID have something to do with growing up and becoming more aware of social/behavioural norms as Infrarecon says.

What does everyone else think?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

There's a point in everyone's childhood when they become aware that they don't have a magical invisible shield and people can and do look/judge them; as they do everyone else.

I think I had that shield until I started school at age 6, then suddenly it was gone and I became terribly self-aware and paranoid that my every action was being laughed at.

 

[MrJones]

SA all my life? I don't know. But since I was born I've been always extremely shy and quiet.

I barely remember as a very early age, but I do remember that I needed much more time than my classmates to know who they were, as I was always on my own. They could have been different kids everyday and I wouldn't even notice lol

So I think I've been always more or less like now. Now I get more nervous than ignorant of what's around me, but I think I'm better anyway... or so I want to think.

 

[A86]

I find the whole discussion of behavioral or boilogical cause to be very interesting. It is very interesting to read different peoples opinions and the fact that a lot of people recall a transition.

Personaly I am now under the conclusion that mine has biological roots. For all the therapy and all the "you getting better", the more I think about it, the anxienty is always there, its not getting better, but its not getting worse either. The only thing that changes is my ability to tollerate and deal with it (some days i have more will power than others - but the root cause remains the same)... and it was definatly way easy to tollerate when I was younger.

Basicaly some people have genetic traits (or mutations?) to help survive. Could be more aggressive, passive, have SA or whatever. I was just unlucky to be given a trait thats not very effective in todays society.

On a rambling rant... this thinking was reinforced recently when I watched "the secret life of dogs" documentrary (The Secret Life of the Dog (Part 1_6) - YouTube) - which now makes me think that all domestic dogs have a form SA (inhertited from selectivly breeding out agressivness) - I see it now everytime I see a dog, especialy a dog being told off.

Anyway so much goes through my mind on this topic, Ill stop now.
Note: These are just my personal opinions drawn from conclusions dervived from my life experiances - I still respect other opinions and often take them into account, It is not my intention to offend anyone.