Confused about a girl

[failure]

First of all, sorry for the following text. I'm too confused (and possibly drunk) to write anything understandable right now (might also be the wrong board). And I seem to tend to abusing brackets ^^

I've been talking to a girl after school for some time now (most of the time i was listening though), just because i was interested in her (not in a sexual- or love-kind-of-way, merely because she was strange somehow). I knew from the start that i could not love her, but she does not seem to be a person really interested in things like that (though i'm sure she would deny this if i told her...). Well, one of the problems is that she's about 6 years younger than i am (i'm twenty-one right now), which actually should not bother me since I do not believe in "age-barriers" in relations between people, but... not only does she in a way look like my younger sister who is the same age as her, she's also got her birthday in the same month (it wouldn't surprise me if it was also the same day...). However, it was her who initiated this kind-of-relationship...

I went to cinema with her, and afterwards she (although rather subtle) asked me why I never attempted to touch her... (right now i think i should have done it, because then i would at least know what kind of relationship this is...) possibly the most important reason for this is my SP (which has been getting better, otherwise I would not have managed to go to cinema with her), but there is also the fact of age-difference which I cannot forget due to the similiarities to my sister...
btw i find it rather exhausting to talk to her, and i get the feeling that i'm behaving more stupid everytime we meet (i don't even know the reason why she still wants to meet me), but i see this as a kind of opportunity to learn talking to girls...

I guess the default question "can anyone relate" doesn't make much sense in this case, but... maybe anyone can write anything to this, I really don't know what to do...

 

[Mikey]

15 and 21 is too big a gap, sorry. She's still a child. Get some grown-up friends.

 

[Sebastian]

There are some very mature 15 years old girls. Girls in general mature faster, but it depends also on the culture and on the individual as well. If you wouldn't get in trouble with the law (in the US, for instance, they are very meticulous about relationships between minors and adults) and if you guys connect, then don't stop. Even if it won't be the relationship you dream about, it can be a good opportunity to learn how to talk to women, as you said, and to deal with them (it's one of those things in life you don't really learn in books or at school but with time and practice ).

As for the similarities with your younger sister, well... it's understandable. But, in 10 years - when you'll be 31 and her 25 - she will always be the same age as your sister, like a lot of the women you'll meet. This shouldn't be a major hurdle because she and your sister are two different people.

 

[Vorphalack]

Many of the teen-age girls are similar to the one you describe... A lot of them prefer boys older than them. Even she took you to the cinema with her. I bet she is interested in love (possibly her first love). In fact, I'm almost sure.

Consider she is a minor and you could get in trouble, they are still children that don't know well what they do, frequently they are not prepared for this but think they are.

 

[FruitLooPs]

Yeah i'm with worrydoll. From what I saw in 5th form at school not that long ago it tended to be the more materialistic girls who were after older guys at that age, probably to gain respect.

Then again there were some girls in 6th/7th form going out with guys who were 20 or so who were really nice and mature, so its one of those things I guess.

You have to gauge how mature she is, I just dont see that many mature 15 year olds out there even though everyone says that girls mature earlier in general which may well be true.

Several of my friends have sisters who were or are 15 or so, and they act in a typical 15 year old way - not the kind of person I would want to be dating as a 19year old from a maturity standpoint. :?

I also know of a guy who looks about 16 but is 20 who has been out with a 15/16 year old. She wasn't that mature and laughed at almost anything it seemed, got right on my nerves, but then again he wasn't too mature himself so it worked out pretty well until they broke up over something trivial.

Just remember shes "jailbait" if under 16? (well in NZ its 16) and the relationship may well head in a sexual direction, and even consentual its still a crime in alot of countries like worrydoll mentioned. Not to mention the parents who in alot of cases will be none too pleased..

Its a pretty complex situation that requires a good think. But if she wants a relationship and you think shes mature enough, then talk about it (not that easy tho heh). Might pay to bring up some of the issues around age.

Another guy I know went out with someone whose 30 and he is barely 19, but they seem to get on great and by 19 most people can make an informed decision regarding going out with someone.

 

[Vorphalack]

are you asking whether i think you should break the law by sexually assaulting a minor? umm no i dont think so. i had a relationship with a guy who was 20 when i was 15..i regret it so much it was completely invasive..even though i was..encouraging the situation..that was just a front..nobody who knew me then..including the guy..would have guessed that i was screaming and dying inside. its just not right man, sorry but you asked. dont do it. i know that..age shouldnt be a barrier in relationships but they have to be legal man...you can end up on the sex offenders register..even if shes your gf..its just not worth it man.

I get very sad whenever I read stories like yours, worrydoll, even fictious stories. I am a man but I know it all is the way you are telling.

 

[Fredscars]

well i'm 15..
i'd say mostly - NO. dont take the "relationship" any further. Keep it as a friendship. Its possible shes just got attracted to you, and isignoring the age - but. The girls in my class who have lost their virginity id say 70% of them lost it to a 19yr old or more. My "best" mate at the time, had this guy she "loved" who was 21. She fucked him then split up with him 3 days later. Shes now a cheater and a slut. They do it for pride, attention or because they can.
THEN AGAIN my boyfriends paretns met when his mom was 15, his dad was 25. Theyre still happily married. My mates mom was 15, her dad 22 when they met - and again still married. It can work - but it depends what kind of girl she is. i suggest you find out before embarking on anythuing.