Can't meet anyone.

[WearyChild]

I am overly shy to the point where it is retarded, online sure why not lets be outgoing but in real life I can't even start a conversation with someone who's paid to talk to me. If I go to a store or an office or something (well before I became agoraphobic) I would just stand there for twenty minutes until someone noticed me and asked if I needed anything. Once they say something I can talk and talk and talk but I just can't talk to people first. Even people I know. If effects everything, hell I am 19 years old and never had a boyfriend. Anyone else have similar shyness?

 

[Day_Tripper]

I am overly shy to the point where it is retarded, online sure why not lets be outgoing but in real life I can't even start a conversation with someone who's paid to talk to me. If I go to a store or an office or something (well before I became agoraphobic) I would just stand there for twenty minutes until someone noticed me and asked if I needed anything. Once they say something I can talk and talk and talk but I just can't talk to people first. Even people I know. If effects everything, hell I am 19 years old and never had a boyfriend. Anyone else have similar shyness?

Yeah, I'm also 19 and never had a girlfriend. Usually my friends call me first, I'm rarely the one to initiate a conversation.

 

[WearyChild]

Yeah, I'm also 19 and never had a girlfriend. Usually my friends call me first, I'm rarely the one to initiate a conversation.

Same, since I can remember my friends have to call me not the other way around. Well aside from one friend who I basically lived at her house for years but aside from her I can't call anyone. Not even a friend I've had since I was 3.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

i've always been fine in social situations before my agoraphobia kicked in, but even before, i didn't like people in the store trying to talk to me or ask me if i need anything, haha.. i just want to say "shut up and just let me shop!" ..but anyway, i don't think i ever start conversations with people, and i don't really find it to be a bad thing.. i mean anywhere in public, i'm not the kind of person to just randomly talk to someone i don't know, that annoys me.. people who talk too much annoy me, haha! i just smile if someone makes eye contact, and not really a big teeth smile, but you know just a polite smirk.. so i guess i'm totally misunderstanding what you're saying =/ i'm 21 and i feel like my friends and i aren't the kind who just call to talk to each other.. i call a certain friend if i'm having boy problems or stress, and she does the same.. and if people want to hang out we just text or whatever... ay yi yi, my post was totally unhelpful, i'm sorry!

 

[Tiercel]

Well, WearyChild, you've come to the right place. This is one of the few places where the socially retarded can flourish and frolic.

We know how it feels. A few weeks ago another member put out an open invitation to anyone else who wanted to meet up at an event she was attending. And although I'm sure the company and location would have easily met my desperate standards, just the thought of saying or doing anything to actually meet up kept me up an night.

And of course there were worries of developing an attraction to the aforementioned user. After all, I am a guy who doesn't meet many women. And in my life, any time a girl realizes that I'm attracted to her, she runs away as fast as her pretty little feet can carry her. And I'd feel bad if I ended up unintentionally being the direct cause of someone else's discomfort. But it's not like I over-analyze and worry about my interactions with others. That would just be silly.

Then again, this is a social phobia forum....

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I'm 28 & have never been in a relationship lol, so you certainly shouldn't feel bad about it at your age. I also can't talk to people & just stand there forever until someone notices me & asks what I want. I've even left places before if the person never said anything or for some reason didn't notice I was there. But even when they ask me what i want, it's still hard to talk.

 

[WearyChild]

Well, WearyChild, you've come to the right place. This is one of the few places where the socially retarded can flourish and frolic.

We know how it feels. A few weeks ago another member put out an open invitation to anyone else who wanted to meet up at an event she was attending. And although I'm sure the company and location would have easily met my desperate standards, just the thought of saying or doing anything to actually meet up kept me up an night.

And of course there were worries of developing an attraction to the aforementioned user. After all, I am a guy who doesn't meet many women. And in my life, any time a girl realizes that I'm attracted to her, she runs away as fast as her pretty little feet can carry her. And I'd feel bad if I ended up unintentionally being the direct cause of someone else's discomfort. But it's not like I over-analyze and worry about my interactions with others. That would just be silly.

Then again, this is a social phobia forum....

Socially retarded.... thats awesome. New vocab words for the week. See if you can get that into everyday conversation... well that would be to easy seeing as I could just call myself socially retarded.

Its okay by the time I realize a guy likes me (rarely ever happens) I've gotten into a comfort zone beyond being able to change so I just cut off all contact and hide back in my room.

 

[kbzeppelin1]

Don't feel bad, i'm 33 and extremely shy as it's actually gotten worse as i've gotten older. This is because of negative social interactions with people, and I feel like an idiot alot of times because my shyness has made me like duh, wake up! But like my therapist says, it doesn't have anything to do with age so whether your 19 or 33, same deal.

 

[secretly awesome]

Don't feel so bad. I'm even shy online! No facebook for me!
I didn't have a real relationship until I was 23, and even then I didn't initiate it. Now I'm 30 and I've still never dated a woman I was interested in.
Hope this makes you feel better : )

 

[dooby-duck]

I find it hard to communicate online as well as out there in the world. There are very few people who I'm able to initiate conversations with. I also have the problem in shops / offices of talking to people and getting what I want. I avoid a lot of these situations now but when at school and university I was forced to do this sometimes, and have several bad memories of embarrassing situations I got myself into. If I had the confidence to initiate communication I'm sure it would be much easier.