Branch off monogamy thread

[vexatiousmind]

To the people that think monogamy is not natural.

Why do you think people get SO upset when there partner cheats?

and would you be upset if your partner cheated on you?

 

[kilojoule]

To the people that think monogamy is not natural.

Why do you think people get SO upset when there partner cheats?

and would you be upset if your partner cheated on you?

First off I think monogamy is both natural and unnatural but mostly natural

but in answer to your other question

em....well....aside from the science bit. This is just what I think and by no means applies to anyone else, just my own personal thoughts on it....but....

In my opinion I would be a lot more upset if he wanted to be with someone else or had feelings for someone else or had a non-sexual relationship with someone else than if he just slept with someone else.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

In my opinion I would be a lot more upset if he wanted to be with someone else or had feelings for someone else or had a non-sexual relationship with someone else than if he just slept with someone else.

I have never thought about it like that before, but I think you might be right (or at least I agree with it) I would be hurt that my partner had "physical" interaction with another. but I would be devastated if he/she actually expressed a want or need for someone other than me.

 

[vexatiousmind]

I am the same, but sex can lead to deeper feelings.

Maybe people get upset because they can not tell whether or not it is just a physical relationship or something more.

 

[AGR]

The same reason most animals do?
I dont have the answer but I would guess its competition,selfishness,we have that drive to fight for a mate,if we lose of course it would be upsetting.

By the way I would love for monogamy to be natural,if you read my post history you can see that,but its just not the way it is.

 

[BlackPuma]

For various reasons:

There is ego. You were used to being adored by this person, and it turns out the this person doesn't quite think you're as special as you thought he/she thought you were.

Forceful loss of companionship. Monogamy or not, you will have most likely been with this person for a while. Him/her having cheated on you risks/gives a high chance/guarantees that the company you shared will be lost.

Betrayal of trust. Whether monogamy is natural or not, in most of society the generally accepted social agreement is that a romantic couples consists of two people (unless other agreements are made), and that all sexual/emotional interactions are between the people in said couple. When cheating is involved, that social agreement is broken.

Addiction. Loving, and being loved is addictive. This is due to a natural chemicals that are released in your body whenever you're emotionally or physically intimate with someone. (oxytocin (separated during sex (incidentally also a chemical that helps mother and child bond during labor)) and endorphines (a natural pain killer))

Cut of from ''love'' means you're cut off from these chemicals. Bond together with the above betrayal of social agreement, you'll have what they describe as ''heart break''.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I was going to ask this in the original post, like...

If monogamy isn't natural, why do humans go insane with jealousy - but animals don't?
Do they get jealous?
Do they kill their own kind when they find out someone they once mated with is mating with someone else?
haha
...I have a feeling they don't.


Anyway-- like I said before; I don't care if it's meant to be natural or not.
I can only see myself being with one person or no one at all.
Maybe I'm just a freak; but I'm okay with it.

 

[coyote]

for the sake of scientific inquiry

i would be willing to engage in non-monogamous sexual activity with consenting females of legal age

just don't tell my girlfriend

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

If monogamy isn't natural, why do humans go insane with jealousy - but animals don't?
Do they get jealous?

Haven't you ever had cats or dogs? If you have more than one (especially dogs), walk up and give only one of them attention, then see what happens. Oh yeah, animals definitely get jealous.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Haven't you ever had cats or dogs? If you have more than one (especially dogs), walk up and give only one of them attention, then see what happens. Oh yeah, animals definitely get jealous.

haha~ oh right!
When it has to do with their owners, sure-- but would they get jealous the way people do with our own kind?

 

[nicole1]

It's not about whether it's natural or not. A lot of people do unnatural stuff daily (like being entertained by a computer). It's a choice and it's about discipline and committment; all things coming from your inner self.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

haha~ oh right!
When it has to do with their owners, sure-- but would they get jealous the way people do with our own kind?

The general rule is: if it's a feeling, it's not unique to humans. We are much more creatures of feeling rather than thinking than most of us want to admit.

The whole question of whether anything is 'natural' is usually doomed from the start because the word 'natural' is badly abused and means different things to different people.

Screwing around is following instincts, and therefore 'natural'. So is feeling jealous when you suspect someone is screwing around on you.

 

[thor01]

I think blackpuma is right!

It makes a person feel jealousy as a result. Because of the ego I guess whe it comes down to it. Not that is something wrong, it just is.

Some people who have non manogamous relationships, where it is made clear from the begining that it is not monogomaous, claim they don't feel this jealousy. And that they are letting the person get all that they require to be satisfied and stuff, rather than as they might put it "owning" them.and the other person doing the same for them, and that this doesn't weaken their love but only strengthens it.

I can see good points in that. But I can also understand the jealousy feeling.

 

[userremoved]

Isnt the only reason we even pair off for as long as we do because of the fact that it takes so long for our offspring to reach a mature age?

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

To the people that think monogamy is not natural.

Why do you think people get SO upset when there partner cheats?

and would you be upset if your partner cheated on you?

Well, I don't think that the reason people get upset when their partner cheats is because deep down monogamy is NATURAL. I think they get upset when their partner cheats because of how they define love and commitment. If a person believes in monogamy, then they are going to feel hurt and betrayed if their partner cheats. A lot of people don't believe that you can have feelings for more than one person at the same time.

There are a lot of different cultures that have a lot of different practices when it comes to love and marriage. I think if it were "natural" we would fall " in love" stay committed and not fall out. And there wouldn't be different definitions of marriage. It would all be this natural drive to stay with one person, mate, and be with them forever. Lot of people fall out of "love" and lots of people get divorced.

I wouldn't be upset if my partner "cheated" because I don't believe in monogamy, well I don't want to practice it. I don't think that just because someone has feelings for me and then develops them for someone else means they love me any less. I want to have an open relationship. The only cheating that would go down if they lied to me about something.

 

[Kat]

It's not about whether it's natural or not. A lot of people do unnatural stuff daily (like being entertained by a computer). It's a choice and it's about discipline and committment; all things coming from your inner self.

I agree with you. I don't really care if it is natural or not but it is personally how I choose to be.

 

[userremoved]

I guess whether its natural or not, monogamy is advantageous when to take into consideration disease and how children of single parent homes can turn out.

 

[MrJones]

Alert! I can't contribute to this thread, ignore this unless you have a lot of free time! XD



I have no idea why other people behave and why they do what they do. And to be honest, I don't care at all.

I couldn't say if I would be upset because I never had a partner. Maybe I'd be upset or maybe I'd know how to forgive. I have no idea.

The only thing I do know is that I could only be monogamous and I could never cheat on my partner.

 

[userremoved]

Why do I get the feeling this is going to turn into a crucify the guy that doesnt think its natural party?

 

[MrJones]

Why do I get the feeling this is going to turn into a crucify the guy that doesnt think its natural party?

There will be no mercy!!

::