grapevine
Well-known member
It's just driving me crazy. Aside from my own issues with him as his GF- it's his own self that I am concerned about.
He seems so unhealthy physically and behaviourally more than usual lately.
In the night times, all he wants to do is go to sleep. He gets so tired. He says he doesn't like the nighttime as he gets so bored.
He lacks any patience most of the time to sit and watch a movie and he used to be on Facebook and do that for hours on end looking up on people and blocking them and judging them with some paranoia (schizophrenic thing despite his medication)- so he doesn't go on Facebook at all anymore for weeks now because it brings out his anger all the time. He took initiative on that anyways - as he just cannot leisurely use FB like most people- it's an unhealthy thing for him.
But it creates a lot of free time that he gets lost in now.
He doesn't work at all. Tho 2 days a week in the mornings he volunteers at a 2nd hand shop on a truck helping move furniture. But he gets exhausted physically easily and doesn't want to be there for long because of that. Sometimes he doesn't go there at all.
His diet is not great. He drinks loads of milkshakes and ice coffees every day, has loads (bowls) of ice cream and has lollies in the morning. And he is a big smoker (roll your own tobacco.)
He is a muscular man but with a big bloated stomach. He takes Risperdal injection every fortnight which is a potent anti-psychotic drug. It makes people sleepy and has side effects.
Its frustrating for me because he lacks any small amount of intitiative to help himself - change his diet so that he could feel better, structure his day and find something to become passionate about for himself.
He has his electric guitar music/ heavy metal riffs and songs he does which is good- and he records and uploads his music to Youtube - but gets a bit sick from doing that all the time as his hands hurt and get stiff.
I get frustrated because he has nothing else to do but want to hang out with me- all the time and so I end up always having to place my solo stuff ( & even responsibilities) aside to be with him and do nothing but be bored with him. As there is nothing that he can dream up to do and I'm sick of being the initiator to do things. I want him to take me out and do things for me and surprise me- but he cant even do that for himself.
Its just so frustrating because even when Im asleep in the morning ( a rare occurance that I sleep at my own place) and he turns up in the morning - and Im getting ready to go to work. And then he visits me at work for 10 minutes - which is fine - but he looks so bored and sad all the time - he has nothing to do and no drive really - except when his buddy once a month comes to visit or he goes to visit him and do a jam session. Other than that - he really just is floating like a bored child on school holidays and with hardly and money too.
He just wants to be around me all the time and I hate that it is because he is bored and lonely and can't think of anything else. And I rush all the time because I sense him waiting for me all the time- yet when I go over to his place - its as if Im not even there sometimes- all he wants to do is go to sleep and its just like .. I feel unappreciated then.
I hate having to sacrifice my life for having to be with him 24/7 it feels. He wants to know how long I will be here and there politely and caringly. But it gets annoying and plays on my own anxiety and people pleasing habit.
It feels like a codependence.
Anyway- I know schizophrenia has a lot of negative behavoural symptoms but he needs structure and goals and more passion in his life. Its as if he cannot imagine or dream of these things (maybe the medication idk?).
It's so frustrating because I end up being in his lifestyle of being bored and not achieving anything much - because I'm giving up all of my time to be with him.
Im a big believer and learnt over many years how to apply yourself and set structure and goals and passion in your life - even in the misdt of depression-
I like to be doing things- and imaging things all the time.
So I just dont get him. That he cannot think of ever getting out of living in his parents garage asa 33 year old man. That going with just $20-$40 a week for himself is okay?
That depending on me to try and rid himself of his holes in his life is okay?
Im not even sure thathe can even think and analyse these things it seems.
I just really want him to try to find some happiness and structure and goals in his life and eat better and feel better physically and mentally.
But I cannot control or change him. How do I influence him and help him help himself???????
Cause it is so frustrating.
He seems so unhealthy physically and behaviourally more than usual lately.
In the night times, all he wants to do is go to sleep. He gets so tired. He says he doesn't like the nighttime as he gets so bored.
He lacks any patience most of the time to sit and watch a movie and he used to be on Facebook and do that for hours on end looking up on people and blocking them and judging them with some paranoia (schizophrenic thing despite his medication)- so he doesn't go on Facebook at all anymore for weeks now because it brings out his anger all the time. He took initiative on that anyways - as he just cannot leisurely use FB like most people- it's an unhealthy thing for him.
But it creates a lot of free time that he gets lost in now.
He doesn't work at all. Tho 2 days a week in the mornings he volunteers at a 2nd hand shop on a truck helping move furniture. But he gets exhausted physically easily and doesn't want to be there for long because of that. Sometimes he doesn't go there at all.
His diet is not great. He drinks loads of milkshakes and ice coffees every day, has loads (bowls) of ice cream and has lollies in the morning. And he is a big smoker (roll your own tobacco.)
He is a muscular man but with a big bloated stomach. He takes Risperdal injection every fortnight which is a potent anti-psychotic drug. It makes people sleepy and has side effects.
Its frustrating for me because he lacks any small amount of intitiative to help himself - change his diet so that he could feel better, structure his day and find something to become passionate about for himself.
He has his electric guitar music/ heavy metal riffs and songs he does which is good- and he records and uploads his music to Youtube - but gets a bit sick from doing that all the time as his hands hurt and get stiff.
I get frustrated because he has nothing else to do but want to hang out with me- all the time and so I end up always having to place my solo stuff ( & even responsibilities) aside to be with him and do nothing but be bored with him. As there is nothing that he can dream up to do and I'm sick of being the initiator to do things. I want him to take me out and do things for me and surprise me- but he cant even do that for himself.
Its just so frustrating because even when Im asleep in the morning ( a rare occurance that I sleep at my own place) and he turns up in the morning - and Im getting ready to go to work. And then he visits me at work for 10 minutes - which is fine - but he looks so bored and sad all the time - he has nothing to do and no drive really - except when his buddy once a month comes to visit or he goes to visit him and do a jam session. Other than that - he really just is floating like a bored child on school holidays and with hardly and money too.
He just wants to be around me all the time and I hate that it is because he is bored and lonely and can't think of anything else. And I rush all the time because I sense him waiting for me all the time- yet when I go over to his place - its as if Im not even there sometimes- all he wants to do is go to sleep and its just like .. I feel unappreciated then.
I hate having to sacrifice my life for having to be with him 24/7 it feels. He wants to know how long I will be here and there politely and caringly. But it gets annoying and plays on my own anxiety and people pleasing habit.
It feels like a codependence.
Anyway- I know schizophrenia has a lot of negative behavoural symptoms but he needs structure and goals and more passion in his life. Its as if he cannot imagine or dream of these things (maybe the medication idk?).
It's so frustrating because I end up being in his lifestyle of being bored and not achieving anything much - because I'm giving up all of my time to be with him.
Im a big believer and learnt over many years how to apply yourself and set structure and goals and passion in your life - even in the misdt of depression-
I like to be doing things- and imaging things all the time.
So I just dont get him. That he cannot think of ever getting out of living in his parents garage asa 33 year old man. That going with just $20-$40 a week for himself is okay?
That depending on me to try and rid himself of his holes in his life is okay?
Im not even sure thathe can even think and analyse these things it seems.
I just really want him to try to find some happiness and structure and goals in his life and eat better and feel better physically and mentally.
But I cannot control or change him. How do I influence him and help him help himself???????
Cause it is so frustrating.