Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
Avoidance is Addiction
This is for both AvPD/SA and GAD and other issues where avoidance becomes your main source of coping.. I'll use SA though to mean for both. And it's long, and a big thought/feelings sort of thing so it's a lot of "thoughts" I had to get it out, apologies but brevity is not something I know =)
There's been similar threads like this, yeah. So read or don't I don't care. =)
I believe SA has an addictive affect on your mind. Not really shocking.
But you become addicted to avoidance as a way to cope with it - it's a behavior and avoidance has MANY and MULTIPLE forms at the same time - it's not one thing and isn't exclusive to SA or AvPD obviously - but that's my source for it. And maybe should be treated more that way.
So sheltering yourself, shutting down, substance abuse, other addictions, literal avoidance of situations, and in whatever form avoidance becomes but it does become addictive. Avoidance is general - but it's how I "cope" with my fears and anxieties and stress. Aside from the negative self-talk
with it, which I've slowly been curbing.
It can lead to alcoholism as a way to cope too, or other things, but that's really just another form of avoidance.
Even knowing that doing so perpetuates your issues and SA - and makes it worse ultimately. It's unhealthy. It's the real source of continuing misery. It can destroy and stop you from living your life. You can KNOW this - but still do it. It's illogical. But it's what you know. JUST LIKE alcohol abuse can be - but that's your coping and you still do it. It's that same weird behavior that's hard to nail WHY but it's because it is like an addictive behavior and the source of many's addictive behaviors. (genetics and stuff aside).
So like other addictions like alcoholism which my family is familiar with, there is no imo, "cure". By cure I mean like a flu, or virus, it doesn't just go away and you become immunized from it.
You live with it. Deal with it. It's always there. Whether due to genetics or whatever. But that DOESN'T HAVE TO DEFINE YOU. You accept that and don't let it control you and don't give don't into it. Hopefully. But you do LIVE with it. You can be cured for all intensive purposes, in that you get the help and live and never look back and never have a drink again and are content and happy - BUT that temptation can always be there.
But that's life. Life is about dealing. I've wished and hoped for a cure for SA and my thinking/habits. Meds can help; if chemically imbalanced, diet, meds, exercise, consistent relaxation, can balance your mind and chemicals and stuff. But one thing that is ingrained is that addictive habit developed like avoidance.
It's just as stubborn and hard to REALLY CHANGE avoidance like any drug/alcohol/smoking addiction. Because it's a physical habit as much as mental and so intertwined with things. So the "cure" is similar - physical and mental change/help. For ME I will need outside help. I lack the ultimate self discipline alone. Nor should anyways have to do so alone. But you have to DO IT.
It's something I've accepted is part of my, the SA I hate so much, my other issues. Avoidance is a result of that it's the actual drink of SA, ie: the alcohol itself. I know it's something I'll be dealing with my whole life - it'll always be there BUT that doesn't mean it'll always be there in misery.
Ppl deal with many things in their lives - alcoholism/addiction is one thing, others have diabetes, other's much worse things they can't "cure" and be immune and rid of forever like a disease. But they live with it - deal with it - and move on and live their lives and it doesn't stop them. Neither does SA have to or whatever issues.
I KNOW it's possible and I WILL learn to deal/live and be content and not let it rule me but it's a tough road. I've fallen off before, badly, this last 3 or so years. But you have to accept and TAKE responsibility and then the change can happen.
I just avoided something today why I write this and it feels like all progress is lost when you give in like that - BUT THATS NOT THE RIGHT FEELING TO HAVE BECAUSE doing so is part of the process - one cannot get down on themselves so much it's not easy.
Change isn't linear, it takes MANY TRIES and falling down before getting back up and progressing forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And like ppl struggling with smoking, drugs, alcohol - few quit the first time. VERY FEW DO. Or 2nd. Or 3rd. Never give up!!!
because I know ppl who HAVE quit after so many gosh darn tries. Mental disorders are the same and that shouldn't discourage or make it seem impossible because it's NOT! It's much the same.
My passive and active avoidance won't go away today or tomorrow or next week or etc I accept that it's an insidious habit BUT I can control and deal with it and live my life be free of it - BUT it can always be there as a habit to get back into.
So I don't even know my point anymore I guess just a Slightly different way for ME viewing things. Anyways now I'm just ranting. =) But I think we view and society treats mental disorders so differently than LIKE an addiction like smoking, alcohol, when it's much more similar. More sympathy imo for ppl with "real" addictions like that. But shouldn't be. We just can't be so hard on selves when it's so hard to "live with" and "fix" these things.
This is for both AvPD/SA and GAD and other issues where avoidance becomes your main source of coping.. I'll use SA though to mean for both. And it's long, and a big thought/feelings sort of thing so it's a lot of "thoughts" I had to get it out, apologies but brevity is not something I know =)
There's been similar threads like this, yeah. So read or don't I don't care. =)
I believe SA has an addictive affect on your mind. Not really shocking.
But you become addicted to avoidance as a way to cope with it - it's a behavior and avoidance has MANY and MULTIPLE forms at the same time - it's not one thing and isn't exclusive to SA or AvPD obviously - but that's my source for it. And maybe should be treated more that way.
So sheltering yourself, shutting down, substance abuse, other addictions, literal avoidance of situations, and in whatever form avoidance becomes but it does become addictive. Avoidance is general - but it's how I "cope" with my fears and anxieties and stress. Aside from the negative self-talk
with it, which I've slowly been curbing.
It can lead to alcoholism as a way to cope too, or other things, but that's really just another form of avoidance.
Even knowing that doing so perpetuates your issues and SA - and makes it worse ultimately. It's unhealthy. It's the real source of continuing misery. It can destroy and stop you from living your life. You can KNOW this - but still do it. It's illogical. But it's what you know. JUST LIKE alcohol abuse can be - but that's your coping and you still do it. It's that same weird behavior that's hard to nail WHY but it's because it is like an addictive behavior and the source of many's addictive behaviors. (genetics and stuff aside).
So like other addictions like alcoholism which my family is familiar with, there is no imo, "cure". By cure I mean like a flu, or virus, it doesn't just go away and you become immunized from it.
You live with it. Deal with it. It's always there. Whether due to genetics or whatever. But that DOESN'T HAVE TO DEFINE YOU. You accept that and don't let it control you and don't give don't into it. Hopefully. But you do LIVE with it. You can be cured for all intensive purposes, in that you get the help and live and never look back and never have a drink again and are content and happy - BUT that temptation can always be there.
But that's life. Life is about dealing. I've wished and hoped for a cure for SA and my thinking/habits. Meds can help; if chemically imbalanced, diet, meds, exercise, consistent relaxation, can balance your mind and chemicals and stuff. But one thing that is ingrained is that addictive habit developed like avoidance.
It's just as stubborn and hard to REALLY CHANGE avoidance like any drug/alcohol/smoking addiction. Because it's a physical habit as much as mental and so intertwined with things. So the "cure" is similar - physical and mental change/help. For ME I will need outside help. I lack the ultimate self discipline alone. Nor should anyways have to do so alone. But you have to DO IT.
It's something I've accepted is part of my, the SA I hate so much, my other issues. Avoidance is a result of that it's the actual drink of SA, ie: the alcohol itself. I know it's something I'll be dealing with my whole life - it'll always be there BUT that doesn't mean it'll always be there in misery.
Ppl deal with many things in their lives - alcoholism/addiction is one thing, others have diabetes, other's much worse things they can't "cure" and be immune and rid of forever like a disease. But they live with it - deal with it - and move on and live their lives and it doesn't stop them. Neither does SA have to or whatever issues.
I KNOW it's possible and I WILL learn to deal/live and be content and not let it rule me but it's a tough road. I've fallen off before, badly, this last 3 or so years. But you have to accept and TAKE responsibility and then the change can happen.
I just avoided something today why I write this and it feels like all progress is lost when you give in like that - BUT THATS NOT THE RIGHT FEELING TO HAVE BECAUSE doing so is part of the process - one cannot get down on themselves so much it's not easy.
Change isn't linear, it takes MANY TRIES and falling down before getting back up and progressing forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And like ppl struggling with smoking, drugs, alcohol - few quit the first time. VERY FEW DO. Or 2nd. Or 3rd. Never give up!!!
because I know ppl who HAVE quit after so many gosh darn tries. Mental disorders are the same and that shouldn't discourage or make it seem impossible because it's NOT! It's much the same.
My passive and active avoidance won't go away today or tomorrow or next week or etc I accept that it's an insidious habit BUT I can control and deal with it and live my life be free of it - BUT it can always be there as a habit to get back into.
So I don't even know my point anymore I guess just a Slightly different way for ME viewing things. Anyways now I'm just ranting. =) But I think we view and society treats mental disorders so differently than LIKE an addiction like smoking, alcohol, when it's much more similar. More sympathy imo for ppl with "real" addictions like that. But shouldn't be. We just can't be so hard on selves when it's so hard to "live with" and "fix" these things.
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Never thought of it that way.
