corrinaelizabeth said:
my aunitie and uncle are coming to visit sometime this month and I have no idea what to say to them!I had nothing to do with them whilst I was a child and mum just doesnt understand why I dont want to be here when they come she says im being stupid and someone of my age(22)should be able to act like an adult and hold an adult conversation with them,but last time they came I just basically sat in silence because I really didnt know what to say,am I being stupid over this?I just felt so uncomfortable last time argghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
eek! this happened to me on saturday.....I had the "come and join us in the kitchen, everyone is here"....
I know exactly where your coming from..ive had an entire week of family birthdays...and a relative passed away this week..so ive had to be around family ive never met before and I did try to make conversation but I also noticed that out of all the young people...im probably the shyest and i noticed people avoiding me...my cousins were over in the corner having a laugh and enjoying themselves and then i went over and it was going alright...I was able to add to the light hearted discussion but after say ten minutes it went quiet and I clammed up......
everytime my older relatives come over for a surprise visit I also find that I sit in silence....because I struggle to relate to what are they saying....generally their topic of conversation is about pointless history.....bloody hell talk about the berlin wall..or the nazis...the pyramids...not some hoe town in england ive never heard of where the infrastructure is sooo much different from the rest of England :lol: ...sorry but alot of the time I sit there in silence because i honestly have no idea what they are on about so Ill try and seem interested...maybe laugh if they attempt a joke....
Ive noticed that my biggest challenge is expressing myself in group situations....and when its a group of people who are either relatives or friends who are all joking and having a high old time that my anxiety is exposed...again I clam up and have to leave the room for some air because I feel like im a burden on the group....
so your not alone...one way of trying to combat this is to just try and show that your interested..maybe think or plan some questions before they come over....im (23).....and i also get the same "act like an adult" statements...the usual
unhelpful advice thrown at me from my mum, remember that not everyone is prejudice against people who are more introverted in social situations...its normal...also remember that if you chose to..you could actually sit there and play by your own rules...say what you please...leave the table when you feel like it and control your own life...that goes for everyone....say "fuck it".....im changing the topic..this is boring me....or i can leave the room without feeling guilty.....as long as your yourself thats all you need
I hope this helps ya...if you need a chat then just PM me *Hugs*
, and i too think you should definitly atleast stay for your family. My mums side are all overseas, and my dads side are here, yet i never see them much due to their tensions with my mum. They even bitch about her to me, and make racist remarks about her :roll: . . . . . . . Yet familys family, and no matter how inferior they might make you feel, it's always best to look at it as a challenge. Just sit back, loosen up, and make yourself at home in your own home, and don't give a damn what they think. Smile when you want, and just be yourself. All the best!